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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by meme3842 on June 18, 2008, at 0:40:13
I mean, what's the point of going to therapy right now? I don't know why, but it feels as if we are talking about the same things over and over again. And it's driving me nuts, because I can't determine whether I'm make progress or not. Currently, I see the therapist twice a month. And the whole point was so I can quit longing for my other therapist. But it's been almost a year, and I still miss the other therapist. Some days, especially today, I ache for her. And the most this therapist says is I need to mother myself and blah blah blah. Well, duh. I get that on a brain level. But she hasn't been telling me how. So we've also been talking about my lack of social life, and it's completely bothered me, because I've realized that I have none. I work and go home. And that's it. I don't even have friends. And it never really bothered me til now. But we talk about the same things and it's getting tiresome. She's nice. I'm not attached to her, so that's a good thing, but I wonder if it is because I'm not attached if that's why I am not making progress. I don't know. And the only way I can tell if I am making progress is by concrete things in my life, like getting out of the house.
I really don't have point, just wondering if therapy does.
meme
Posted by seldomseen on June 18, 2008, at 16:04:52
In reply to Does anyone ever wonder-what's the point?, posted by meme3842 on June 18, 2008, at 0:40:13
Sure I've wondered what the point was. I think most of us have at sometime or another. In fact, there have been times when my therapy has just been downright boring.
Even though I didn't realize it, those downtimes for me were very good. It helped me to just talk to my therapist - not about the really big issues necessarily, but just to talk.
There are a lot of things I think that therapy isn't. I don't think that therapy per se will help you get over your previous therapist. It may help you to understand why you still ache for her, what she gave you that is now missing, and what you can do to help yourself.
I think you have to grieve her loss in your own way. I would give yourself time to do just that. Grief isn't pathological, aching for someone isn't pathological either, it's just an emotional response to a loss. No more no less.
As far as mothering yourself - that's easier said than done, especially since a lot of us didn't really have a model for a mother. Essentially I think what mothering yourself means is taking care of yourself first, just like a mother usually puts the child's need ahead of hers. It requires listening to yourself. I mean really listening to yourself and what you want and need.
For instance if a mom has a cranky, fussy baby sometimes a warm bath will soothe it. If you are upset, seek out ways to soothe yourself. Allow yourself good, healthy food and ensure that you feel safe in your home and surroundings.
As far as a social life goes, well, I would be perfectly happy being a hermit. However, I sought out something that I thought I might really enjoy and started doing it. It put me in touch with a lot of people that had very similar interests to me and before you know it - the crazy cat lady (me) had friends!
But even being social starts at home and when you're ready - you'll reach out I think.
Seldom.
Posted by Dinah on June 19, 2008, at 10:42:13
In reply to Does anyone ever wonder-what's the point?, posted by meme3842 on June 18, 2008, at 0:40:13
Sometimes it does have a point. Sometimes it's easy to keep going without examining whether it has a point or not. I think it's good to question that on a regular basis, and to talk about it with your therapist. Maybe you have gone as far as you can go, at least at the moment. Or maybe you're avoiding issues through talking about everything else. Only you can know. But it certainly is worth thinking about.
Posted by meme3842 on June 19, 2008, at 11:11:22
In reply to Re: Does anyone ever wonder-what's the point?, posted by seldomseen on June 18, 2008, at 16:04:52
Thanks. I'll try to keep in mind that maybe this lull in therapy is actually a growth period. I get myself into trouble and further depressed when I ask myself the big questions, such as 'does this having meaning?' I have a tendency to do that, and I am not sure why, but I always find myself getting depressed about it.i'm working on grieving my other therapist, but you know it's kind of hard. It woudl be so much easier if she actually died or something. I know it is a horrible thing to say, but on my end it would definitely feel final. I've lost my father early in childhood, and grieving for him seemed so much easier than this. I feel kind of stuck in it. Anyway.
In terms of mothering myself, I really think I don't get it. I don't know what people mean when they say, "take care of yourself." And I've been told that by friends and such. And so I wonder what they mean because I really do..I have my hobbies, I work. What more does taking care of yourself mean? Maybe that's what you mean by listening to myself. Do you ever wonder that maybe there's nothing there if you stop and listen to your want and needs?
meme
Posted by backseatdriver on June 19, 2008, at 13:01:40
In reply to Re: Does anyone ever wonder-what's the point?, posted by meme3842 on June 19, 2008, at 11:11:22
When I ask this question, my T nods and says, "There's the resistance." Then he makes a little note in his book.
Keep at it -- you'll push through.
This is the end of the thread.
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