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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by muffled on June 10, 2008, at 23:32:25
I am sorry phillipa that you have such struggles.
Your T doesn't sound very nice :-(
Maybe there are nicer ones out there?
Best wishes
M
Posted by Phillipa on June 11, 2008, at 0:23:20
In reply to A Phillipas therapist thread, posted by muffled on June 10, 2008, at 23:32:25
Muffled you are so sweet and kind thanks for thinking of me. Yes it is hard and no she isn't very nice. I've kind of given up on the therapist I just want to why I'm so afraid of being alone that I can't be. I used to be so independant. Now I'm a mess. I love your posts as you are a very wise and mature person. You're real kids are very lucky to have a Mom like you. Love Phillipa ((((((Muffled)))))) sweetest person ever. Love Phillipa
Posted by sassyfrancesca on June 11, 2008, at 8:58:50
In reply to Re: A Phillipas therapist thread » muffled, posted by Phillipa on June 11, 2008, at 0:23:20
Oh, sweetie: You deserve someone (T) better than someone who is cold.....that is something that should never be said about a therapist.
I responded to your (I think it was your post) about being afraid to go upstairs (((Phillipa)).
your t should be able to help you figure it out; that is what she should be trained to do ; to bring things out of our subconscious into the CONSCIOUS realm, duhhhhh, LOL, LOL
How frustrating for you; you deserve so much better and I am sorry and sad for your pain and frustration.
There IS a reason for your fear. She should be helping you figure it out, and if she lacks skill (of ANY kind); she should refer you to someone who can help.
Hugs n Love, Sassy
P.S. You are PAYING her for service you are not getting!
Posted by raisinb on June 11, 2008, at 9:12:30
In reply to Re: A Phillipas therapist thread » muffled, posted by Phillipa on June 11, 2008, at 0:23:20
I don't think there is anything wrong with being afraid to be alone. Your therapist said that as if it were a huge issue of yours...but isn't everyone afraid to be alone?
And with me, at least, being too independent and being afraid to be alone are two sides of the same coin. I'm afraid to be left, so I never get close to people. But more aloneness doesn't fix that. Learning how to connect despite the fear does.
Posted by Dinah on June 11, 2008, at 10:14:57
In reply to Re: A Phillipas therapist thread » muffled, posted by Phillipa on June 11, 2008, at 0:23:20
I don't always know the why of my fears. I can guess based on my history and my issues, but a lot of the time I just don't know.
In many cases, for me, my irrational fears are a distraction from the real fears. It's easier to acknowledge that I'm afraid I ran over someone with my car and didn't realize it, for example, because at some level I do know I didn't roll over someone with my car. So I can dismiss the fear even as it occupies my mind and distracts me from my deeper fears. I couldn't tell you why I'm afraid that I rolled over someone, other than that I worry about responsibility in general.
In those cases, what works best for me is the anxiety behavioral techniques. Exposure, desensitization, etc. In some ways it seems impossible. Driving and not going back to check to see if I rolled over someone. But as I do it again and again, however hard it is at first it gradually gets less difficult. As I turn in my work product without checking it a dozen times, I learn that nothing bad happens.
It helps a lot to have support, or medication, on board when doing those things. But doing them is the cure.
And for me at least, with those worries out of the way, the deeper fears emerged for me to look at. The things my brain was trying to distract me with.
So off the top of my head, I can think of a few reasons you might be afraid of being alone. They may or may not be accurate. But isn't it more important at this point to improve your life through behavioral interventions? Things like you did a while ago. Driving to that shop. Going upstairs by yourself for just a moment with maybe someone in the next room. Then staying a bit longer the next time. And a bit longer the next time. Some people even start by recording a scenario of their fears and listening to that before trying to actually do it.
Behavioral interventions for anxiety, coupled with medications as necessary, have a great track record. There are a few books I like.
"Stop Obsessing"
"Brain Lock"
"The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook"If you come up with a plan, I'm guessing your therapist would be supportive of it. She may be waiting for you to take charge. If not, another therapist would probably be delighted with such a motivated client.
And then maybe the source of the fears will be clearer?
This was helpful for me. But of course your mileage may vary.
Posted by Phillipa on June 11, 2008, at 18:56:57
In reply to Re: A Phillipas therapist thread » Phillipa, posted by Dinah on June 11, 2008, at 10:14:57
Really to everyone it's kind of what I'm doing. For instance drove to two stores and bought stuff close by today gas prices. It's me being alone in the house that is the problem. Someone must always be here and I know it's crazy but for the life of me can't figure out why???? Used to love to be alone in the house???? Love Phillipa ps I can leave as long as know someone husband will be there when I return. Oh and years ago first therapist I saw said I had to leave daily or I'd be agoraphobic so now must leave daily.
This is the end of the thread.
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