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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by myrtledog on May 21, 2008, at 9:54:24
I've posted a couple of times - once because my T was having an "event" for herself and once about trying to find a new T. The "event" turned out to be the serious illness of her daughter. I needed to find a new T anyway because she is moving away in Oct. Now due to the "event", she has to finish in August.
Ending is my worst nightmare. This is basically the worst thing in the world for me. I've renewed my attempts to find a new T. I'm just in so much pain - can anyone who has been through it tell me that it is possible to survive it and get the grief into proportion? I understand my reaction is due to my past - but it isn't making my pain any easier.
Help?
Posted by Dinah on May 21, 2008, at 10:17:16
In reply to Struggling so much, posted by myrtledog on May 21, 2008, at 9:54:24
It doesn't need to be about your past. You're losing someone who has been a source of support to you for a long while.
I was reading a Jonathan Kellerman novel the other day and he was writing about the death of a psychologist. His character (also a psychologist) said that losing a therapist was like losing a parent. It felt good seeing that validated right there in a mainstream novel.
I lost my therapist for a while, and thought it could be permanent. I did look into therapy, tried one session with one therapist, then settled in with another therapist who I saw for a few months. Things started looking up with my therapist or I would probably have started looking again as I don't think she was a good long term match for me.
What do you want from therapy right now? Do you feel the need to continue long term therapy? Do you need someone to help you through this loss?
I don't suppose you have much choice. If you wish to continue therapy, you'll have to look around for someone else. Maybe you could make a list of characteristics. Maybe you could get referrals from your therapist and your doctors. I sincerely hope that she'll be open to your settling in with another therapist while still winding things up with her. It seems the least she can do.
I think that yes, you can get through it. There was a time when my therapist was gone from the country for six weeks, and I wasn't at all sure therapy would continue. It hurt like the dickens, but eventually it faded to a dull pain that only flared when I heard from him. We had agreed to keep in touch by email. But his emails were NOT helpful.
I also have gotten through the death of my father. It does get better. No matter how horrible the pain, it does get better with time.
Posted by myrtledog on May 21, 2008, at 12:15:50
In reply to Re: Struggling so much, posted by Dinah on May 21, 2008, at 10:17:16
Thanks Dinah. It's true, I agree, it is like losing a parent. My bond with her was instant and intense. The idea of her not being in my life is simply unimaginable.
Posted by raisinb on May 21, 2008, at 16:24:16
In reply to Struggling so much, posted by myrtledog on May 21, 2008, at 9:54:24
I haven't been through anything like this, but I know that many, many people have (some of them on this board) and have come through it stronger and wiser.
But it sounds so painful, and everyone else is right that it should be and those feelings are normal. I hope you can at least express some of them to your therapist, so that some of this is processed before the ending. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this.
New, small ways to take care of yourself might help a bit, but I also think you just have to let yourself grieve.
Posted by rskontos on May 22, 2008, at 10:21:36
In reply to Re: Struggling so much » myrtledog, posted by raisinb on May 21, 2008, at 16:24:16
I agree with Dinah and raisinb. I have not been through this, I just wanted to add my support of you through a difficult time. You need to grieve and experience your feelings. Do find ways to take care of yourself but not deny how you feel.
(((((Myrtledog)))))
rsk
Posted by myrtledog on May 22, 2008, at 11:00:42
In reply to Re: Struggling so much/myrtledog, posted by rskontos on May 22, 2008, at 10:21:36
Thank you **sobs**
Posted by rskontos on May 22, 2008, at 12:04:57
In reply to Re: Struggling so much/myrtledog, posted by myrtledog on May 22, 2008, at 11:00:42
Sorry you are sobbing, but in time it will get better. It will take whatever time it takes. Do something kind for you though ok?
rsk
This is the end of the thread.
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