Shown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Happyflower on May 2, 2008, at 23:03:49
I watched it tonight, all 3 hours of it with my DH. It kinda has me creeped out, I don't want to go to bed, I am afraid I will have nightmares. I couldn't stop watching it though.
Sybil's mother acted like mine. I was taught not to cry, I hid my injuries, told lies about how I got hurt. That light bulb in the movie makes me so scared, I thought she was going to get burned by it. That little girl looked just like me when I was little, I could show you a picture. Same haircut and eyes, my kindergarten picture.
I also couldn't imagine my mom sitting in the chair next to me, it freaked me out when my T said that. I only feel safe when she is dead and I think I would have to go just to make sure she was.
I also like Sybil couldn't show my anger, I also say I couldn't hurt anybody because I know how it feels.
This movie seems like it is about my life, even the T seems like mine.
I didn't know how to soothe the little girl either when my T asked me to do it.
Posted by Phillipa on May 2, 2008, at 23:32:08
In reply to movie Sybil? I am scared, I want my T*triggers*, posted by Happyflower on May 2, 2008, at 23:03:49
Happyflower sorry you were triggered. I don't have the same issues as you but I did read the book and found it so believeable hence why I can empathize and relate to so many of you guys. Try and sleep. Love Phillipa
Posted by Happyflower on May 2, 2008, at 23:40:24
In reply to movie Sybil? I am scared, I want my T*triggers*, posted by Happyflower on May 2, 2008, at 23:03:49
My grandma was the only one who loved me too, just like Sybil. I know I am not Sybil, but I went through stuff simular.
Mom always said I was stupid and klutzy. She would accidentally hurt me too. Make me look so stupid so she could feel so good because she was better than me she said.
I remember reading those little Bible's we got in 6th grade for answers. It gave me none. People said to pry when things go bad, well it never helped me, bad things still happened. I couldn't pray hard enough. Why would any God allow to happen what happened to me? I just don't understand how to love a God who created such evil that hurt me.
I remember wishing I was dead, I even told my kinder garden teacher that I was going to die soon. But I couldn't wish hard enough for that to happen.
I saw my mom torture my brother's body parts, I didn't even know how much those parts hurt boys. But the screams, I remember, the anger he has inside for her you could hear in his yells, in his face. I hated her.
I wanted to save my little brother, but I couldn't because I knew I would be next, I wanted to hide so bad, but that would only make it worse. She could do this and minutes later answer the phone like she was Mrs. Beaver Clever. She worked at the school as a teacher Aid, everyone thought my mom was so cool, they didn't know what I knew.
I guess when I saw her act nice I really felt bad because I most really be bad for her to get mad and do those things to me.
The soap in the mouth, Palmolive Brand green. Washing your mouth out with soup has a whole different meaning in my house. She did vinegar too, and it burns, I can feel it. She pulled my hair out where you couldn't tell, she twisted my arms and thumbs to threaten me. Why are mothers so mean?
Posted by seldomseen on May 3, 2008, at 7:50:22
In reply to movie Sybil? I am scared, I want my T*triggers*, posted by Happyflower on May 2, 2008, at 23:03:49
Yeah, they should slap a trigger warning on that movie. A big one.
I'm sorry it caused you upset.
One thing that just killed me about the movie (and my therapist and I actually laugh about this all the time) is that scene at the end where Joanne Woodward and Sybil are sitting out under a tree in a very pastoral setting. Suddenly all is right with the world. I think the shrink is actually stroking Sybil's hair.
Oh yeah - like that's the way it goes. A big revelation and all of a sudden everything is fine. Psssh, that's when the work really begins!
I keep telling my T that I'm waiting for him to come over and stroke my hair!I'm also sorry that all of these horrible things happened to you as a child. The world is not a very fair place at all.
I'm sorry that you have to re-live and remember. There is safety to be had in the world however, and you are no longer in that abusive, horrible situation.
You are an adult with "active agency" over your life now. You can create safety and hope and love. You can (and have) offered it to others.
It's so hard to break free from those shackles, but you are doing it.
Seldom.
Posted by Happyflower on May 3, 2008, at 9:25:50
In reply to Re: movie Sybil? I am scared, I want my T*triggers* » Happyflower, posted by seldomseen on May 3, 2008, at 7:50:22
Hi Seldom,
I didn't know the movie was about an abusive mother or I probably wouldn't have watched it. I just knew it was about DID and I wanted to see it because so many people mention that book and movie.
I guess it was too real for me even though I don't have DID. The T also was as sensitive as mine, now I don't think he would sit in a chair with me, but I think he would hug me if I needed it.Sally Fields is an incredible actress. I slept okay last night but this morning feel irritable. I have to get ready for our hiking and canoing trip next week, so I at least I can concentrate on that. I need to get away. Thanks for responding Seldom, sometimes these boards feel so lonely, or people just don't care it seems, but it could be me being ultra sensitive.
Posted by rskontos on May 3, 2008, at 15:01:40
In reply to Re: movie Sybil? I am scared, I want my T*trigge » seldomseen, posted by Happyflower on May 3, 2008, at 9:25:50
Happyflower,
sometimes things are just too triggering:(
rsk
sorry you feel bad. this is a bad time for some I guess I know it is for me, I am just reading I can't really post right now about me and sometimes I just can't offer anything helpful, you know,
like Thumper's father said, if you can't say anything nice(in this case replace helpful) then don't say anything at all. So remember sometimes people care but can't say anything they haven't got the right voice.:( (but they still care)
just hurting some rsk
Posted by sassyfrancesca on May 5, 2008, at 10:50:48
In reply to Re: movie Sybil? I am scared, I want my T*trigge, posted by Happyflower on May 2, 2008, at 23:40:24
My dear friend....I wish I had the answers. My mother was terribly abusive, also.
All you (or I or anyone abused so terribly as a child) can do is do the things that make us feel good...whatever those are.
We can never understand why they did what they did (mental illness, they were abused as children......., etc., etc....)
THEY don't matter, but WE do, my sweet "sister" and twin.
Don't watch that ucky stuff anymore.
Love, Ally-gurl
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