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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on April 28, 2008, at 19:50:37
I was thinking of you.
Posted by muffled on April 28, 2008, at 22:40:47
In reply to Ladybug, how are you doing?, posted by Dinah on April 28, 2008, at 19:50:37
Posted by LadyBug on April 28, 2008, at 23:10:16
In reply to Ladybug, how are you doing?, posted by Dinah on April 28, 2008, at 19:50:37
Well, my husband is in jail for communications fraud. He had the nerve to have a bail bondsman call me and tell me to call my sister's husband to pay the $1,000 bucks to bail him out! His bail is set at $10,000.00. I told her to tell him that there is no money and to contact his family for help. He's been there for a week now. My girls feel so bad for him. I do in a way but he got himself there.
I talked to an attorney on Friday about filing for divorce. Long story, I'm doing it on line, it's so much less money and since he's cleaned house, we have no assets to fight over so I'm thinking it will work.I had a job interview on Friday for a job within my school district, better pay, better job. I'm hopeful. I should find out in the next day or so. They called my boss right after the interview, that's a good sign. My boss seems to think I'll get it. I hope so!!! I need the money desperately now. I need something to turn out right in my life for a change.
The big question is about my T! I called her last Monday and left her a short voice mail telling her I wasn't coming on Tues.
She called me from her home on Tuesday morning but didn't leave me a voice mail. It's 2 weeks tomorrow since I walked out of her office after she told me she gave me too much sympathy when I found out my daughter was pregnant until the adoption. Then she told me no more voice mail. I said my voice was paralyzed and left. I can't bring myself to call her yet. I know for my sake I have to face her. I have no plans of going in. I don't know what to say to her and the time that passes probably the harder it will be.
She hurt my feelings!!!!!! And then some!! I don't know how I could ever tell her anything personal ever again. I'm torn. I know she's frustrated with me and that makes me even want to stay away even more.What a stressful week, but I hope it has a good ending. I hope to get the job I interviewed for. If not, I'll keep trying.
I trust your advice Dinah, what would you do if you were me about my T? I am lost. I'm doing ok without her. I'm filing for divorce, I'm getting a new job, both of which she has no clue.I'm at peace with the adoption. I got to see my little grand baby on Sat. I love him with all my heart. His parents are awesome and he is truly loved and cared for as much as any baby could be.
Thanks for asking about me, sorry for the novel!
I've had a wild few weeks and it's not over.
It means a lot to me to have babble, it's the only place I've put my feelings out there about my T.LadyBug
Posted by Phillipa on April 28, 2008, at 23:43:53
In reply to Re: Ladybug, how are you doing?, posted by LadyBug on April 28, 2008, at 23:10:16
Wow what a week!!!! Phillipa
Posted by MidnightBlue on April 29, 2008, at 0:02:51
In reply to Re: Ladybug, how are you doing?, posted by LadyBug on April 28, 2008, at 23:10:16
Ladybug,
I'm not Dinah, but you might want to check and see if you can get a low cost or free attorney. If your husband pled guilty or is found guilty and will be in jail over 18 months that is automatic grounds for divorce in some states. You might want to consider putting just $10 or so on his commisary so he can buy stamps and paper to write the girls. But don't feel obligated to do even that if he has any family that can help him.
Also be sure you are not in trouble with the IRS. You might can file as something called an injured spouse if he messed up your tax returns.
Glad to hear about the baby doing so well and you are at peace with the adoption. And good luck on this job! I have a feeling you are going to get it!
MidnightBlue
Posted by Dinah on April 29, 2008, at 2:37:13
In reply to Re: Ladybug, how are you doing?, posted by LadyBug on April 28, 2008, at 23:10:16
Well, I'm sorry to hear about all you're going through. But I'm really glad you felt able to share it. You've been part of Babble for a long time. I'm glad you are here, and talking to us.
Unfortunately, what I would do about your therapist is heavily weighted by who I am as a person. Once I attach myself to someone, it's very hard for me to let go unless there is no alternative left. I'm not sure the first or the tenth time or the fiftieth time someone said something hurtful to me, that I would give up on the relationship on my end. Not unless I grew to view the person differently. Which certainly does happen.
But that's me, and my own set of issues and life experiences. I'm not even sure if it's the best thing to do for myself, never mind anyone else. Sometimes I find myself glad I am the way I am. Sometimes not so much.
I couldn't in all honesty recommend that path to anyone else, because it's too tied in with what I need. If that makes sense.
I'd say listen to your intuition. Put aside the hurt and the anger as much as you can, and listen to the still small voice inside. Maybe this is the right time to leave. Maybe you need to see her one last time. Maybe you need to fight it out. Maybe you need to let her go. I know it must be hard to find stillness right now. I often go into the bathtub and let the water run over my hand, and concentrate on how that feels and relax and listen to the still small voice, because a lot of times I already have the answer.
Posted by LadyBug on April 29, 2008, at 11:10:31
In reply to Re: Ladybug, how are you doing?, posted by LadyBug on April 28, 2008, at 23:10:16
I got my new job!!! I'm so excited, finally something is going right for me! Now if I can get the divorce to go smoothly I'll have a few stresses off my list. I wish I could work things out with my T.
I wrote this last night. It's not really a poem because it certainly doesn't rhyme at all. It's about my T.Little Girl
Go away little girl, leave her alone.
You've been bad and upset the mom.
She can't tolerate you!
Keep to yourself, you must deal on your own.
You paid the mom the listen,
she pretended she cared.
It was never real, not ever.
Stay away and work this alone.Love no one, hurt no one,
and no one will hurt you.
Everything you need you have
in your heart and in your mind.Go now, be strong.
Don't look back, you're not going that way!
LadyBug
Posted by rskontos on April 29, 2008, at 11:53:48
In reply to Re: Ladybug, how are you doing?, posted by LadyBug on April 29, 2008, at 11:10:31
Ladybug,
If I hear you right in the poem she hurt you. Maybe just give it some time. I think her words to you were harsh and seem out of step with what you really needed. And that was no time for her to help you stand strong or whatever she meant to "teach" in that moment. In that moment you needed support period. So I think Dinah is right take a bath and listen to your inner voice. Some where your inner voice will tell you what you need to do. I think sometimes when you dont know what to do then do nothing until a plan of action is revealed to you. Anything else could be the reaction to pain and hurt and that might hurt you worse in the longrun. Take care, my friend and...
CONGRATS on the job, you deserve it.
rsk
Posted by B2chica on April 29, 2008, at 14:22:42
In reply to Re: Ladybug, how are you doing?, posted by LadyBug on April 29, 2008, at 11:10:31
it's called free verse.
it IS poetry and IT IS GOOD ladybug.you say what you need to say.
it makes me feel sad for little girl. she's feeling very hurt right now.
and although its true if you don't take risks you wont get hurt,
but you also wont find the gains, or great joys one can get.
HOWEVER, she IS right.
Everything she needs IS in her heart and in her mind.
she IS strong.
Posted by LadyBug on April 29, 2008, at 16:42:20
In reply to Re: Ladybug, how are you doing? » LadyBug, posted by B2chica on April 29, 2008, at 14:22:42
I've always referred to my issues as the issues of my little girl. I have little girl figurine at my T's office. It sits on her shelf just above her head as she sits at her desk. I wonder what she thinks about now.
Today is Tuesday, my usual appointment day. I haven't heard a word from her.
I typed out my little crazy free style poem and I think I'll drop it in the mail. She will get it tomorrow. This is my way of telling her how I'm feeling without seeing her or leaving her a voice mail. What do you think my babble friends?
Is it a good idea? I'm going with it.
LadyBug
Posted by muffled on April 30, 2008, at 11:08:25
In reply to Re: Ladybug, how are you doing?, posted by LadyBug on April 29, 2008, at 11:10:31
LB glad you got job!!!
Yayyyy!!!
As for T, mebbe you can work things out. Its good to do that. Mebbe she not s'posed to phone you? Thats the common rule. That T not phone unless client asks.
LOL, I am playing SAME game w/my T. She away this week. I NOT gonna call for appt. Cuz I think we done. But I miss her. Its a dumb game. UGH. Alls I do is hurt myself. Repeat old patterns.
Sigh.
Sorry, this turned into a MUFFLED whinefest! Just so's you don't goto feel like the only one who got T troubles!
I am happy things are going much better for you in some ways though.
Take care,
Nice to see you around.
M
Posted by Happyflower on April 30, 2008, at 21:26:25
In reply to Re: Ladybug, how are you doing?, posted by LadyBug on April 29, 2008, at 11:10:31
Glad you got the job! Things can get better or so I was told.
I love your heart felt poem, and I think you should send it to her. By the way most modern poems don't rhyme anymore, so your's is great, it communicates to how you feel. That is what a good poem does.
I am glad you got to see your grand baby and that the adoption is open. I bet it was hard to leave.'
Take care yourself, friend, you are special.
This is the end of the thread.
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