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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by stellabystarlight on April 7, 2008, at 21:12:25
I had my session with my T and surprise, he pretended like nothing happened during our last session.(He got possessive and had tears in his eyes when I told him how much my teacher and I connected last week.) He was nice today but very business like and subtle about doing damage control. Today he was back to "disclosure is harmful and ethics is everything" attitude. This back and forth is driving me crazy!
It actually hurt me because I felt like he wasn't present at the session. The only thing I could say to him was that he is weird....that's all I could say for some reason. What I should have said is how much it hurts me to have him retreat from me because he's afraid. What's weird is he seems to be unaware of his inconsistancies. WHAT DOES HE WANT FROM ME ANYWAY?
I almost called him and cancelled next 2 weeks' appointment on him...I guess to hurt him back, because he told me it would devastate him if I left him. This is so unhealthy. I have such intense feelings for a married man that I see 1 hour a week. I feel so trapped and confused!
I ended up making an appointment with a new therapist to see if he can help me get out of this mess. I would appreciate any feedback.
Stellabystarlight
Posted by Happyflower on April 7, 2008, at 22:07:06
In reply to What does my therapist want from me anyway?, posted by stellabystarlight on April 7, 2008, at 21:12:25
Good for you! I think you did the right thing, my T would do the same thing with boundaries and it hurts like hell. But at least you are smart to get out now, instead of hanging on for 2 1/2 years for what will never come no matter how they feel or you.
Tell the new T that you need help with the termination from the last one. He or she should be able to help you deal with the mixed emotions that come with quiting, even if it was the right thing.
This will be so wretchedly hard, but you can do it, it will be for the best, you deserve a professional to help you. (((( stella))))
Posted by Phillipa on April 7, 2008, at 23:15:04
In reply to Re: What does my therapist want from me anyway? » stellabystarlight, posted by Happyflower on April 7, 2008, at 22:07:06
Oh I'm proud of you. Yes I agree with above poster. You deserve better. When did you say appointment was with new therapist? Woman or Man? And how did you find one? But seriously you did the right thing in my opinion. Love Phillipa
Posted by star008 on April 8, 2008, at 12:58:00
In reply to What does my therapist want from me anyway?, posted by stellabystarlight on April 7, 2008, at 21:12:25
stella.
I would worry about him saying he would be devastated if you left him and his possessiveness. That IMHO doesn't seem to be healty at all. No wonder you feel trapped. If it isn't bad enough to feel so attached and dependent, it seems to me that he is adding to it., I thnk a different T might be the right thing to do.. take care.
Posted by stellabystarlight on April 8, 2008, at 13:38:35
In reply to Re: What does my therapist want from me anyway?, posted by Phillipa on April 7, 2008, at 23:15:04
> Oh I'm proud of you. Yes I agree with above poster. You deserve better. When did you say appointment was with new therapist? Woman or Man? And how did you find one? But seriously you did the right thing in my opinion. Love Phillipa
Hi Phillipa,
They're both men and I found them on the internet. I haven't found an available women therapist yet as I've just started searching. I saw one today and we both decided to we're not a good fit. I ask too many questions and he wanted me to simply trust and accept. I'm seeing another one tomorrow...he sounded good on the phone but we'll see.
Don't be too proud of me yet. I haven't told my T about any of this yet. I was tempted though, just to hear his reaction, but this has become too painful for anything resembling a game.
Thanks and talk to you soon.
Stellabystarlight
Posted by stellabystarlight on April 8, 2008, at 13:43:25
In reply to Re: What does my therapist want from me anyway? » stellabystarlight, posted by star008 on April 8, 2008, at 12:58:00
> stella.
>
> I would worry about him saying he would be devastated if you left him and his possessiveness. That IMHO doesn't seem to be healty at all. No wonder you feel trapped. If it isn't bad enough to feel so attached and dependent, it seems to me that he is adding to it., I thnk a different T might be the right thing to do.. take care.
Hi Star008,Thanks for your feedback! I know it's become an unhealthy situation. How did I get into a situation that could hurt me so much and pay so much for it? It's a crazy process...don't know if therapy could ever work for me. By the way, what is IMHO?
Take care.
Stellabystarlight
Posted by star008 on April 8, 2008, at 16:08:20
In reply to Re: What does my therapist want from me anyway? » star008, posted by stellabystarlight on April 8, 2008, at 13:43:25
IMHO means in my humble opinion.
I feel bad that you are in such a situation.. That would be so hard. As if the theraputic relationship isnt hard enough as it is!!!
Posted by sassyfrancesca on April 9, 2008, at 10:15:10
In reply to Re: What does my therapist want from me anyway? » stellabystarlight, posted by star008 on April 8, 2008, at 16:08:20
The only person who can answer that question, is the therapist himself.
Unfortunately for me, I've been in love with my t for 5 years; so I don't get crazier (LOL) I know I should leave, but as I told hiim: "I would rather be in pain WITH you...than without you.
Sassy
Posted by Shadowplayers721 on April 18, 2008, at 0:47:15
In reply to What does my therapist want from me anyway?, posted by stellabystarlight on April 7, 2008, at 21:12:25
Your question to your thread is a good one. Only your t can answer to his issues.
It's great you are leaning on your own inner wisdom to move you away from this.
I hope you will find your new t more supportive of your needs.
This is the end of the thread.
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