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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by fleeting flutterby on March 27, 2008, at 17:38:18
What if you'd been seeing your T. for 5 months, once a week and you not only talked about your own issues but your family members issues.... like a son that graduated recently from high school and his struggles. And what if your T. was helpful and listened and you felt safe...... then......
recently, a horrible tradegy(involving murder) happened with a former classmate of your sons and you brought that up in session and your T. said-- "Yes, I know about it, my son was also in that class"......
ummmmm... say what!???!!
All this time I've been talking and sharing private things with someone that could be familiar with me and I didn't even know it! How come T. never said anything about this before??
yikes-- why do I feel I'm so exposed?? or do I feel betrayed??...... what do I say to T. about it?? or do I even say anything??.....Do you think it's up to the T. to tell a client from the first, if they share a common place/situation? I have trust issues and can get paranoid...... I had hoped this T. was the one I would find great healing with, as she WAS so safe...... was I just being gullible? or.... is it just me and I'm being overly paranoid?? I'm struggling to see what is the best way to think.... I want to trust her but I want to be safe too!
Hope my rambling is comprehensible.-blushing-
I'm just nervous about this.......thank you
fl.flutterby
Posted by Dinah on March 27, 2008, at 20:40:32
In reply to What if....., posted by fleeting flutterby on March 27, 2008, at 17:38:18
Perhaps she wanted you to feel free to talk about things to an impartial therapist. Without worrying about the fact that your therapist also had firsthand knowledge or was involved. And she probably didn't consider it a close enough connection to be a problem for her.
That whole blank slate thing. :(
I think I wouldn't like it very much myself. I'd be looking back over everything I said to see if I'd said anything I shouldn't have.
But I'd probably also assume that the intentions were good.
Maybe this cut close enough for her that she didn't feel she could be as detached as usual?
A collision of worlds.
Posted by Daisym on March 28, 2008, at 1:07:25
In reply to Re: What if..... » fleeting flutterby, posted by Dinah on March 27, 2008, at 20:40:32
I hate when I bump into my therapist's other life... I think you should tell her that it bothers you. You might be surprised with how much trust is built by talking about this set back. And I agree with Dinah, most therapist don't want to share too much so that you won't feel stiffled. You should be able to say just about anything in therapy without worrying that you've hurt your therapist's feelings or offended them in some way.
Posted by fleeting flutterby on March 28, 2008, at 10:34:57
In reply to Re: What if..... » fleeting flutterby, posted by Dinah on March 27, 2008, at 20:40:32
> I think I wouldn't like it very much myself. I'd be looking back over everything I said to see if I'd said anything I shouldn't have.
>
> But I'd probably also assume that the intentions were good.
>
> Maybe this cut close enough for her that she didn't feel she could be as detached as usual?
>
> A collision of worlds.<Yes, what you said- "I'd be looking back over everything I've said...."-- that's what I think I'm doing-- making me feel more anxious.
I think it's quite admirable of you to think the best of things if this happened to you..... I'd like to do that.... just very hard for me. :o(
hmmmmmm.... you have a point-- I've not thought of it that way.... "Maybe this cut close enough for her that she didn't feel she could be as detached as usual?"..... that could be it.
Oh my gosh-- yes-- that's what seems to have happened-- "two worlds collide"!!
Wow-- you are very insightful- thank you so very much Dinah.fl.flutterby
Posted by fleeting flutterby on March 28, 2008, at 10:43:46
In reply to Re: What if....., posted by Daisym on March 28, 2008, at 1:07:25
> I hate when I bump into my therapist's other life... I think you should tell her that it bothers you. You might be surprised with how much trust is built by talking about this set back. And I agree with Dinah, most therapist don't want to share too much so that you won't feel stiffled. You should be able to say just about anything in therapy without worrying that you've hurt your therapist's feelings or offended them in some way.<
Tell her how I feel about this!?? yikes... that would be frightening.... so hard to tell someone like that about if they have done something that causes me to be uncomfortable. Seems I'd be telling them they don't do their job right-- they could get angry. :o(
I feel in my heart you are right about this-- but my expereince is telling me other things.....*sigh*...... so scary to NOT listen to "experience"(from my past).If I do say something, I have no idea how to go about it so that T. won't get defensive(not that T. ever has- just worry it will happen like it did with other T.s) ..... hmmmm....... just don't know......
Thanks for your reply-- I appreciate it very much.
fl.flutterby
Posted by Phillipa on March 28, 2008, at 11:58:27
In reply to Re: What if....... Daisym, posted by fleeting flutterby on March 28, 2008, at 10:43:46
I feel you should discuss it with her since it is causing you great anxiety and see what she says. Good luck Phillipa
Posted by fleeting flutterby on March 28, 2008, at 15:11:16
In reply to Re: What if....... Daisym » fleeting flutterby, posted by Phillipa on March 28, 2008, at 11:58:27
> I feel you should discuss it with her since it is causing you great anxiety and see what she says. Good luck Phillipa<
Oh dear, I feel as though you are right..... I'm just so scared....... (which makes me feel pathetic as I realize I shouldn't be scared, I'm an adult too-- sheesh.... but somehow I'm not able to convince myself to not be scared..... -rolls eyes- feel so mixed up)
thanks Phillipa, I appreciate your reply.
fl.fluttery
Posted by fleeting flutterby on March 28, 2008, at 15:27:00
In reply to Re: What if....... Daisym, posted by fleeting flutterby on March 28, 2008, at 15:11:16
I'm sorry..... having a hard time getting the hang of this forum.... I forgot to change the "subject" line........ my last post was a response to Phillipa....... hope I'm not confusing others too much. I'm sorry.
fl.flutterby
Posted by 10derHeart on March 28, 2008, at 18:11:28
In reply to What if...... sorry- I did it again....Phillipa, posted by fleeting flutterby on March 28, 2008, at 15:27:00
> I'm sorry..... having a hard time getting the hang of this forum....
I think you're doing beautifully :-)
>I forgot to change the "subject" line.
Ah! You don't have to. After you click on Reply to Post, before you submit it, just check the little box "add name of previous poster" and it will put their name in the subject line - that's how that's happening. (you'll see I did it in this post back to you) But if you forget (Lord knows we all do...!) I'm sure people will figure out who you are talking to from the context, no worries.
>hope I'm not confusing others too much. I'm sorry.
I doubt it. I think at least *some* of us live in a state of confusion part of out lives anyway...so.....not your fault and we are used to it! Lol ;-)
And I can't see one thing you have to be sorry for. I personally think you're doing great. Hopefully I'll get back here to post something about your actual subject here, too, but gotta run right now...weird and busy day.
-- 10derHeart
Posted by fleeting flutterby on March 30, 2008, at 20:01:21
In reply to Re: What if...... sorry- I did it again....Phillip » fleeting flutterby, posted by 10derHeart on March 28, 2008, at 18:11:28
> I think you're doing beautifully :-) <
You're so kind-- thank you!
> ....... After you click on Reply to Post, before you submit it, just check the little box "add name of previous poster" and it will put their name in the subject line - that's how that's happening. (you'll see I did it in this post back to you) But if you forget (Lord knows we all do...!) I'm sure people will figure out who you are talking to from the context, no worries.<
Oh WOW!! thank you so much! I didn't know about that little box.... -blushing- I didn't notice it. Oh Thank you!
> hope I'm not confusing others too much. I'm sorry.<
> I doubt it. I think at least *some* of us live in a state of confusion part of out lives anyway...so.....not your fault and we are used to it! Lol ;-) <again-- it's very kind of you to be so reassuring. Yeah, I sure know about CONFUSION! I appreciate your help so much-- often feel I'm more than just "one step" behind others-- thank you!
> And I can't see one thing you have to be sorry for. I personally think you're doing great. Hopefully I'll get back here to post something about your actual subject here, too, but gotta run right now...weird and busy day.<Thanks ever so much for your support. Hope your days are going OK 10derheart! :o)
fl.flutterby
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