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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 45. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Poet on February 22, 2008, at 17:46:56
I got downsized today. As many of you know my self-esteem is based on career. It was nothing I did, the company has had some economic problems and are literally cutting the office space in half. No space for square peg Poet in round office. I am hurt and scared. It took me five months to get this job. I have a long painful track record of getting interviews, but not getting jobs. They gave me a months pay and helped me pack my stuff. A co-worker was crying, I don't cry in front of anyone, not even my T, so I didn't cry until I got in my car.
I said in my post about T leaving that the one thing that would cause a meltdown is if I lose my job. I am fighting off a meltdown. I am trying to hold on until I see her on Tuesday. I emailed her just in case she is back this weekend. I didn't say it was an emergency, but she'll immediately connect no job with crisis/suicidal ideation. I didn't want to call her on the phone and hear her message saying she's gone and call the fill in therapist in a crisis. A stranger would not understand what career is for me. I can wait for my T- I have to. I can email her again just to let some of the sadness out.
Poet
Posted by Dinah on February 22, 2008, at 17:49:51
In reply to The One Thing That Pushes me to the Edge Trigger, posted by Poet on February 22, 2008, at 17:46:56
Poet, I'm so sorry.
If there's anything I can do to help, please let me know.
Posted by obsidian on February 22, 2008, at 18:28:13
In reply to The One Thing That Pushes me to the Edge Trigger, posted by Poet on February 22, 2008, at 17:46:56
I am so sorry about this Poet.
I have been laid off twice.
I know it was really, really hard.
I never thought I would recover, and I am still scared about job security.
but I know you will get through this
hang in,
sid
Posted by Phillipa on February 22, 2008, at 18:36:10
In reply to Re: The One Thing That Pushes me to the Edge Trigger » Poet, posted by obsidian on February 22, 2008, at 18:28:13
Oh Poet I'm sorry and you just started working but so many are downsizing it's really scarey. Phillipa
Posted by muffled on February 22, 2008, at 18:56:14
In reply to The One Thing That Pushes me to the Edge Trigger, posted by Poet on February 22, 2008, at 17:46:56
Posted by annierose on February 22, 2008, at 21:31:38
In reply to The One Thing That Pushes me to the Edge Trigger, posted by Poet on February 22, 2008, at 17:46:56
Poet -
I was so sad reading your news. I know how deeply this hurts. It s*cks big time!! I'm glad you intellectually know that it wasn't you. But I know that it feels differently.
Try to remember that you did get this job. You did. No one else. And as painful as the job process is, you can find another job.
I'm so sorry. And that your therapist is out of town, that just adds insult to injury. Seriously. I hope she calls you soon.
Posted by Daisym on February 22, 2008, at 22:42:08
In reply to Re: The One Thing That Pushes me to the Edge Trigger, posted by annierose on February 22, 2008, at 21:31:38
I'm really sorry this happened, Poet. Can you ask your employer for references?
I do know how hard it was for you to get this job but you did it and you can do it again. Baby steps, OK?
Hang in there. I hope your therapist comes back soon. Please let me know if I can help in anyway.
Posted by Fallsfall on February 23, 2008, at 7:53:38
In reply to The One Thing That Pushes me to the Edge Trigger, posted by Poet on February 22, 2008, at 17:46:56
(((...Poet...)))
A stranger may not understand what career is for you, but we do. Sounds like a weekend trip to Camp Comfort is in order!
Let us know how we can help.
Falls
Posted by JoniS on February 23, 2008, at 8:10:12
In reply to The One Thing That Pushes me to the Edge Trigger, posted by Poet on February 22, 2008, at 17:46:56
Poet,
I'm so sorry to hear about the downsizing. I have struggled with valuing myself in relation to my career too. It feels good to me though, now as my career is not "up there" anymore.
I know you are in a very painful place. I'm so sorry and I hope you get to connect with your t.
take tender care of yourself
Joni
Posted by seldomseen on February 23, 2008, at 9:01:35
In reply to The One Thing That Pushes me to the Edge Trigger, posted by Poet on February 22, 2008, at 17:46:56
I'm very sorry to hear about your job loss.
My career is also tied to my self-worth - although it really shouldn't be.
I understand, but can only imagine how you must feel.
Stay safe and keep posting.
Seldom.
Posted by Racer on February 23, 2008, at 9:44:06
In reply to The One Thing That Pushes me to the Edge Trigger, posted by Poet on February 22, 2008, at 17:46:56
I had a dream about you last night. In the dream, we even hugged one another -- scary, right?
But when I'm awake, I love you just for being you -- what your job is, whether you have a job, whether your hair is perfect, none of those matter. You're you, and that's enough for me.
(Put *that* up on your monitor, and eventually you'll figure manage to get back at me for saying it...)
xoxo
Make the cats take good care of you. Tell them you didn't earn your Medium Rodent Badge yet, and it's got you down... I'm sure they'll understand.
Posted by ClearSkies on February 23, 2008, at 11:38:16
In reply to The One Thing That Pushes me to the Edge Trigger, posted by Poet on February 22, 2008, at 17:46:56
Poet, I'm sorry that the circumstances have conspired against you. I know that this is NOT the right time to do this, but at some point I would love for you to be able to really separate the You from the You at a Job. You know that those aren't the same person, but I hear the pain you suffer because it's not what you believe down deep inside.
CS
Posted by rskontos on February 23, 2008, at 13:17:14
In reply to Re: The One Thing That Pushes me to the Edge Trigg, posted by ClearSkies on February 23, 2008, at 11:38:16
I want to add my support to you at this difficult time as well as all the other fantastic babblers. I hope you realize that you are a special person that some bad happened to. And not the other way around. You will find a new job, remember that one door closes but a new better one will open. It will, Poet, it will. We all promise to be here to help with those baby steps until it does. Ok?
rsk
Posted by Poet on February 23, 2008, at 13:52:23
In reply to The One Thing That Pushes me to the Edge Trigger, posted by Poet on February 22, 2008, at 17:46:56
I'll try to post individual responses later, but I want you all to know how much I appreciate your support. I truly appreciate it and need it.
Poet
Posted by TherapyGirl on February 23, 2008, at 17:21:34
In reply to The One Thing That Pushes me to the Edge Trigger, posted by Poet on February 22, 2008, at 17:46:56
Poet, I just saw this and I'm so sorry. I can imagine how you feel. I was laid off from my last job and current job, which originally seemed like a dream job, has been taken over by a power-hungry drone and we are on the verge of more layoffs. Not to make this about me, but just to say, I know some of what you're feeling. I hope you are able to connect with T soon. You are so bright and have so much to give -- I hope this job search goes well once you are ready.
(((((((((Poet))))))))))
Posted by sunnydays on February 23, 2008, at 17:37:00
In reply to The One Thing That Pushes me to the Edge Trigger, posted by Poet on February 22, 2008, at 17:46:56
I can't remember if you like hugs or not, but that's all I can manage the moment. You are in my thoughts, and I'm wishing that the job-fairy finds you again soon. Why does she seem to get lost so often?
sunnydays
Posted by raisinb on February 23, 2008, at 18:23:24
In reply to The One Thing That Pushes me to the Edge Trigger, posted by Poet on February 22, 2008, at 17:46:56
Poet, I'm so sorry. My self-esteem is based on my work, as well, and I can imagine how devastating this must be.
Try to remember that everything you value about yourself in your job--your skills, your intelligence, your flexibility, your competence--is part of *you,* not the job. Even though this particular position is gone, you are still good at what you do. Easier said than done, I know. Hang in there.
Posted by Poet on February 24, 2008, at 11:33:04
In reply to Re: The One Thing That Pushes me to the Edge Trigger, posted by raisinb on February 23, 2008, at 18:23:24
She's back in the U.S., but won't be back in town until tonight. She promised to call me Monday and signed the email "warmly, me." I need her warmth as I am in a cold, dark, ugly place.
Poet
Posted by Poet on February 24, 2008, at 11:35:13
In reply to Re: The One Thing That Pushes me to the Edge Trigg » Poet, posted by Dinah on February 22, 2008, at 17:49:51
Hi Dinah,
I wish there was something you could do. I just can't face job hunting right now. I filed for unemployment online and the information from last year was ready to go in my electronic file. It made me cry.
T is calling me Monday. At least my crisis came at the end of her vacation.
Poet
Posted by Poet on February 24, 2008, at 11:39:14
In reply to Re: The One Thing That Pushes me to the Edge Trigger » Poet, posted by obsidian on February 22, 2008, at 18:28:13
Hi sid,
I can't handle the job interview process. I've been rejected so many times and now I have the fear that I'll either be fired or let go because that's what happened in the last two jobs.
I will hang in, but right now I'm hanging onto a thin thread.
Poet
Posted by Poet on February 24, 2008, at 11:40:39
In reply to Re: The One Thing That Pushes me to the Edge Trigger, posted by Phillipa on February 22, 2008, at 18:36:10
Hi Philippa,
I would have been at this job for a year in April. I was on unemployment last year at this time and filed for it again yesterday. That's waht is realy hurting me, it's like I'm going backwards, not forwards career wise.
Poet
Posted by Poet on February 24, 2008, at 11:42:02
In reply to ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((poet)))))))))))))))))) (nm) » Poet, posted by muffled on February 22, 2008, at 18:56:14
Posted by Poet on February 24, 2008, at 11:47:29
In reply to Re: The One Thing That Pushes me to the Edge Trigger, posted by annierose on February 22, 2008, at 21:31:38
Hi Annierose,
I wasn't the top choice for my last job, the person they hired didn't work out. Though they did hire me and honestly liked me and the work I did, but this still as you said s*cks. It s*ucks bigtime as the one thing I cannot handle is not having a job.
T emailed me and she's back on Monday. Thank God.
Poet
Posted by Poet on February 24, 2008, at 11:51:04
In reply to Re: The One Thing That Pushes me to the Edge Trigger, posted by Daisym on February 22, 2008, at 22:42:08
Hi Daisy,
I don't know if I can manage baby steps, I feel like crawling is about all I can do right now. My employer promised me he would give me a good reference, but it's still the me employers seem to hate that has to get through the interview. Your encouragement last time was much appreciated and I will call on you again to help me.
Poet
Posted by Poet on February 24, 2008, at 11:53:17
In reply to Re: The One Thing That Pushes me to the Edge Trigger » Poet, posted by Fallsfall on February 23, 2008, at 7:53:38
Hi Falls,
I'll be watching the Oscars tonight at Camp Comfort on a giant flat screen TV.
Poet
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