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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by glamorama on February 13, 2008, at 9:15:20
First off I want to make sure that no one misinterprets my post here. I'm NOT suicidal. But I'm really worried and scared about this idea I have, and I don't know what to do. I am hoping that someone can advise me because I'm too confused to really understand what is going on.
*trigger warning, SI, graphic**
Basically, last night I got this idea, or compulsion, that I needed to cut open an area of my body where there was a lot of "fat". Sorry, this sounds probably really gross, but basically, I feel this compulsion to see the yellow fatty tissue. I keep visualizing it in my head, and am trying to figure out a way of cutting my skin open to see it, but I guess this could cause me to bleed profusely or something? Sorry if I sound stupid. I just feel like I have to do it, but I thought it might be a good idea to talk about it with some others to see if they had some advice. I feel like if I talk to anyone, they might commit me to the hospital or something. Sorry if this post was inappropriate in any way or posted to the wrong board. I wasn't sure where to post it.
Posted by Phillipa on February 13, 2008, at 11:45:02
In reply to Wierd ideas brewing...**possible SI trigger**, posted by glamorama on February 13, 2008, at 9:15:20
I would call my therapist or pdoc asap or a crisis line. Phillipa
Posted by B2chica on February 13, 2008, at 13:30:54
In reply to Wierd ideas brewing...**possible SI trigger**, posted by glamorama on February 13, 2008, at 9:15:20
Your post is not innappropriate and fits well here. many of us have felt similar.
i've been in a similar place dear one. i wanted to cut...nay shred my body at times. these are as you mentioned compulsions. it has to do with you SI but also with anxiety and OCD.
are you on any medication?
i noticed that sometimes my xanax (for anxiety) would help. other times it wouldn't even touch the severe anger and desire to destroy body parts. this is where i did need something stronger. i was on zyprexa and this fixed it 100%
i'm not saying you need it, but it was what worked for me.
Most importantly, when these "complusions" occur you need to have a plan in place ahead of time to make sure that you don't act on them.the ones that i typically would do would be to:
-journal exactlyl what you wanted to do, use very descriptive language or write poetry;
-listen to music
-exercise, HARD;
-draw or paint can be anything many times i would draw what i wanted to do;
-paint on your body, over the area you want to injure;
-hold ice cubes in your hands as long as you can.
-call a friend, talk or have them come over. go outside- out in public.most importantly have this in place before hand so you can look at this list and do what you need to do without having to remember things.
and remember you are NOT alone. but you do need to talk about what is going on inside. your erupting, and you need to talk about it before you hurt yourself too much. and don't forget to take care of the wounds you do have. go to the emergency room if you need to.
take care glamorama
best wishesb2c
Posted by glamorama on February 13, 2008, at 14:06:03
In reply to Re: Wierd ideas brewing...**possible SI trigger** » glamorama, posted by Phillipa on February 13, 2008, at 11:45:02
Thanks Phillipa. I am just going to try to get some rest and email my T. I have made sort of a deal with myself not to do anything until I talk to him.
Posted by glamorama on February 13, 2008, at 14:08:35
In reply to Re: Wierd ideas brewing...**possible SI trigger** » glamorama, posted by B2chica on February 13, 2008, at 13:30:54
hi b2c, thank you very much for your suggestions.
well, right now I am only taking Zoloft. I forget to take it a lot. What I found out I most wanted to do is to sleep, so I am going to email my T, and then go to sleep. I don't want to hurt myself or anything, so I feel like I can wait until I have talked to my T about this. I hate being so confused!!!
This is the end of the thread.
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