Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 808150

Shown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Psychology of Surgery

Posted by Phillipa on January 21, 2008, at 13:00:01

Okay I'm not taking this litely as wondering if fear and anxiety and tiredness coming from this. Just hear me out please. Now you know I'm a lot older 61 almost 62 and should have a hysterectomy, have a cystocele , and rectocele, I figured the younger I have it done the less change of dying. So from my first marriage saved some money from sale of house in the 80's. I had my tubes tired after third and my stomach is huge since menopause and it is hurting my back my ability to excercise and like me also diabetes runs in my family and stomach fat not good. So I thought okay I'm already under and have two days in the hospital for the ob-gyn so why not do a tummy tuck at same time with the necessary lipo. The docs both said fine. My Youngest 30's said I'm too old for surgery so it's back to the nightmares. If you were me would you do it or just cancel the whole thing ob-gyn as well not an emergency but then medicaire could go out and then what? Also I would be down so to speak for six weeks but I figured do together kill two birds with one stone. Now I can't rationalize this emotionally or intellectually what would you do if it were you? Hope this dosen't trigger anyone. But I'm driving myself crazy over it. Thanks please help me by the way the T thinks that the Tummy is for women our age. I don't want boobs or things like that and don't think it will cure anxiety or depression but it would help me function long term better I think. I'm terrified. Plan and simple and some are saying my adreanals are pooped out from all the stresses I'm under won't go into them. Phillipa who desparatedly needs your help and am begging.

 

Re: Psychology of Surgery » Phillipa

Posted by muffled on January 21, 2008, at 13:11:13

In reply to Psychology of Surgery, posted by Phillipa on January 21, 2008, at 13:00:01

Phillipa, i honestly dunno.
Cripes, you not THAT old for crying out loud!
If your health is otherwise good, then whats the diff if you have lipo suction etc?
If the Dr are OK w/it then why NOT? If you can afford it and it will make you feel better why NOT?
I would have it done if I could afford it. Losing weight is hard.
Lets us know what you decide and how it goes.
M

 

Re: Psychology of Surgery » muffled

Posted by Phillipa on January 21, 2008, at 13:45:46

In reply to Re: Psychology of Surgery » Phillipa, posted by muffled on January 21, 2008, at 13:11:13

Muffled there is no way I can lose this weight as they cut all the muscle and it needs to be repaired as the doc said I could diet, do sit-ups til blue in the face and it wouldn't help no muscle long ago when tubes tied a huge scar from navel down. Fat kind of forms hills around it. And no way can I afford it but it's my last gift to me as I am old. And my kids are well off don't need my meager savings. See it's different when older and surgical proceedures don't why they do c-sections above the pubis now no cutting of stomach muscles and it's hidden. Love Phillipa when they did c-sections down the abdomen same problem occurred worked with an ob-gyn who did free tummy tucks with those patients last children. And I've done sit-up from age 28 till the back stuff about two years ago.

 

Re: Psychology of Surgery » Phillipa

Posted by muffled on January 21, 2008, at 14:00:50

In reply to Re: Psychology of Surgery » muffled, posted by Phillipa on January 21, 2008, at 13:45:46

Seems you've thot about it lots phillipa.
If its safe, and its what you really want, and it'll make you feel good...
Your T doesn't approve???
Mebbe a good topic to discuss w/T.
M

 

Re: Psychology of Surgery » Phillipa

Posted by MidnightBlue on January 21, 2008, at 14:42:58

In reply to Psychology of Surgery, posted by Phillipa on January 21, 2008, at 13:00:01

Phillipa,

If I were you I would have the gyn surgery. My sis had it done (without an external incision) and she was up and out in less than two weeks.

She was 50 at the time. This is usually not a surgery for "young" women. And unless you have respiratory or heart problems you'll probably do just fine.

As far as the tummy tuck goes ask yourself these questions:

1. Can I really afford this or is the money better spent on something else?
2. Am I doing this for myself or for someone else?
3. How did I feel after the last plastic surgery? Did it produce a lasting physical/psychological benefit?

Only you can answer those questions.

Midnightblue

 

Re: Psychology of Surgery

Posted by Phillipa on January 21, 2008, at 19:35:41

In reply to Re: Psychology of Surgery » Phillipa, posted by MidnightBlue on January 21, 2008, at 14:42:58

Muffled first T thinks the tuck is a good idea. The last surgery after done and over and healed makes a big difference in how I look and people think I'm much younger. I am also grieving the end of nursing and BD in March another milestone. But bought slippers and bathrobe today it's a one to two day stay. As far as the money is concerned. I've traveled all over the world and I really don't even want it. I know tis might not make sense but when push comes to shovel my kids can afford me. And I've given them tons of money as Ct was so much more expensive than NC. I paid for half this house and what else do I need? No clothes as a closet full of stuff that doesn't fit. And the doctors are covered under Medicaire. I'm not an aquire person just want to be comfortable in own skin. But I don't want to die. See for a year I did kept seeing my now deceased little dog and wanted to be with him and his sister and have them in urns next to my bed to be buried with me. I've never had a connection with any person that comes close to matching the one I had with them. Now I want to live again and not die. And want to do something my nursing darn it!!!!! But school again at my age too much. Thanks guys for answering. Love Phillipa ps also learned today that stomach fat cells lead to diabetes and heart disease which run in my family and only way to get rid of them is suck them out

 

Re: Psychology of Surgery

Posted by raisinb on January 21, 2008, at 20:21:07

In reply to Re: Psychology of Surgery » Phillipa, posted by MidnightBlue on January 21, 2008, at 14:42:58

If it's something that you want to do, for you, and you really think it will make your life better, then why not?

For a while now, I've been reading your posts saying that you're old, and now I hear you're only 62!? 62 is NOT old.

Heck, in my family, women end up living to 95 or a hundred. They get much feistier as they get older, and they shrink, which is a funny combination. I can't tell you how many times I've seen a 4-foot 85-pound great aunt or grandmother smoking Kools and yelling curse words at everyone while she cooks up a huge mess of food. My grandmother, who's 89, still walks 6 miles a day, runs the Salvation Army, and gossips incessantly about her friends. I'm convinced they all enjoy life WAY more than I do at 32.

Anyway, I think you have a lot of years to enjoy and if you really want this and feel you can get through the recovery, you should do it. Sometimes it's good to say the h*ll with what everyone else thinks.

 

Re: Psychology of Surgery » Phillipa

Posted by sunnydays on January 21, 2008, at 21:01:47

In reply to Psychology of Surgery, posted by Phillipa on January 21, 2008, at 13:00:01

Phillippa.... only you can answer your questions about the surgery - it's such a personal choice. But just so you know... I'm 21 and my father is 69. Luckily he can still work and does, and works outside doing woodworking and such. Something to think about. You're really not that old. I know you have some medical problems that limit the things you can do, but I think that with therapy you really will be able to beat your anxiety so that you can keep living your life to the fullest. I really thought you were in your late 70s from the way you talk about yourself - cripes, a lot of people don't retire until 65! You've got a lot of life ahead of you, so do what will make you feel best and what you are most comfortable with.

sunnydays

 

Re: Psychology of Surgery

Posted by Phillipa on January 21, 2008, at 21:12:12

In reply to Re: Psychology of Surgery » Phillipa, posted by sunnydays on January 21, 2008, at 21:01:47

I love you both!!!!!! As seriously some of us when we hit 60 kind of really feel old as youth is what is displayed in most magazines as the way to be. I know you know what I mean.Seems older people are not always revered here like in some countries. Thanks all you guys. Lets go play in some nice warm rain!!!!!! Love oh yes love Phillipa

 

Re: Psychology of Surgery » Phillipa

Posted by Justherself54 on January 22, 2008, at 9:24:44

In reply to Re: Psychology of Surgery, posted by Phillipa on January 21, 2008, at 21:12:12

Phillipa..go for it..my mom didn't in her early sixties and now she's in her seventies and has additional health problems that make her ineligible for that surgery..it is one of her biggest regrets..
as for the tummy tuck, don't look at it as cosmetic..think of it as a medical necessity..I had a breast reduction and can't believe the relief it has given my back..before I couldn't drive for 3 hours without my tailbone hurting so much I could hardly get out of the car (fibro plays in here), but now I can drive for long distances and no pain..and the permanent numb spot between my shoulders is gone..

and you are so correct..I also feel we live in a society where older women aren't revered..so you know what, we have two choices..we can revere ourselves..or move to Latin America! If getting rid of the tummy will make you feel better as a woman..go for it..

I was so nervous about surgery and I obsessed about it for months, but I had a good friend come with me and stay throughout..during the healing period I had regrets cause they looked pretty scary, but not now..I'm overweight, but it has changed my body shape so now I look thinner and clothes fit better as they will for you..

One of my girlfriends had a tummy tuck years ago and through weight gain it's back..she's just finishing radiation for breast cancer but plans this summer to have her other breast removed and have both reconstructed at the same time, then the following year to have the tummy tuck again..for her it's not vanity, it's part of her recovery and battle..

So we have "plastic surgery" for a multitude of different reasons..but the common goal is there..to regain the youthful part that is still in every one of us that either genetics, be it pendulous breasts or weight all in the tummy, or in my friend's case, diseases like cancer, have taken away..

My surgeon knew I had terrible anxiety about surgery and made sure I was "relaxed" before I went into the OR..not sure what they put in the IV but it sure did the trick..

I hope you don't let your anxiety rule what YOU want..as it did my mom's decision, as it's sad to see the regret in her now when she can do nothing about it..

Sorry for the long post..just some ramblings before my java has kicked in!

 

Re: Psychology of Surgery » Phillipa

Posted by llurpsienoodle on January 22, 2008, at 9:55:11

In reply to Psychology of Surgery, posted by Phillipa on January 21, 2008, at 13:00:01

P,
you have everyright to feel good about your body image and your health. I know you will feel so much relief to have these procedures behind you. Imagine what it will be like to have less tummy to grab onto. (speaking from personal experience!). I think that it is nice that you have built in a reward for yourself even as you are getting prepared for a big surgery.

Don't listen to people who bring you down. Why would they do that? Maybe because it affects them personally, and they speak from their own best interests, not yours?

Well, babble is here to support you, and not to judge you harshly. you are a very strong person, and you can make it through this part too.

and 61 is NOT old! -Ll

 

Re: Psychology of Surgery » Phillipa

Posted by frida on January 22, 2008, at 10:47:28

In reply to Re: Psychology of Surgery, posted by Phillipa on January 21, 2008, at 21:12:12

Phillipa...

you are not old! My T is your age, and I love her so much, I think of her as young, I never see her old, and she's wonderful. I bet you too. You definitely are not old.

If the surgery makes you feel better, I'd say go for it...

listen to those who love you well and who support you and want the best for you.

Let us know what you decide,

Frida

 

Re: Psychology of Surgery » Justherself54

Posted by Phillipa on January 22, 2008, at 19:47:34

In reply to Re: Psychology of Surgery » Phillipa, posted by Justherself54 on January 22, 2008, at 9:24:44

Oh how I thank-you for those words as now at my age I do regret not going further in nursing school and getting a Bachelors or Masters as I could still do some working now as that opens the door for some many non stressful oportunities. My thinking at the time is why? I just want the money as was going through divorce and once working the higher educated didn't make enough to me to consider it now. So see I have regrets already. No oh no don't want what happened to your Mom to happen. And I thought the fat redistributed when the lipo removed the fat cells and then fat went elsewhere. Thanks you're a sweetie. Love Phillipa

 

Re: Psychology of Surgery » llurpsienoodle

Posted by Phillipa on January 22, 2008, at 19:52:31

In reply to Re: Psychology of Surgery » Phillipa, posted by llurpsienoodle on January 22, 2008, at 9:55:11

Ahhh Li thank-you so much I do really appreciate your support. Hey you guys can all come over and nurse me and I bet I can grab a much bigger roll than you can. Love Phillipa babble is so kind and supportive.

 

Re: Psychology of Surgery » frida

Posted by Phillipa on January 22, 2008, at 19:55:05

In reply to Re: Psychology of Surgery » Phillipa, posted by frida on January 22, 2008, at 10:47:28

Frida another thanks and if nothing stands in the way of anesthesia it's a go for Feb 20 as on the schedule and bought new slippers and robe yesterday on sale of course as mine is so ratty couldn't be seen in it. Thanks love you Phillipa

 

Re: Talking to those who've been there... » Phillipa

Posted by confuzyq on January 26, 2008, at 12:44:56

In reply to Psychology of Surgery, posted by Phillipa on January 21, 2008, at 13:00:01

Hi Phillipa,

Sometimes nothing can beat being able to talk to others who've been through, or will be going through, the same things you are; and whose knowledge and research you can also get the benefit of. So I thought I'd post links to various pages at a plastic surgery message board network, where in my experience folks have mostly been very nice, helpful and informed.

These are actually all pages at the same message board network -- it all used to be owned by one woman, then it became very successful and she sold it to a commercial enterprise (which tosses in occasional pitches for itself and its services, such as financing and doc referral; but otherwise doesn't get in the way. Most posters have a game plan of their own and ignore the site's available services).

Anyway, as I was saying: Even though the specific boards have completely different web addresses, they all stem from the same network.

**** Forum for your specific procedure is:

http://www.tuckthattummy.com/forum/forum.php

**** Below is the heaviest-traffic of the boards. As such, occasionally people post about any procedure there, instead of just on the board devoted to their specific one. (Similar to how people here have a preference for posting on certain heavy-traffic babble boards, even if there is a more tailored designated one. Only with these, you won't get redirected! ;) Might be good to post your questions in both places.

http://www.facialplasticsurgery.net/forum/forum.php

**** Although a link to a list of all other specialty boards appears on most main pages, below is one place you can find the full list. (Yeah, silly name! It was the name of the original forum started by that one woman, Marianne someone-or-other.)

http://yestheyrefake.net/plastic_surgery_message_boards.htm

The board layouts are kinda similar to babble in some ways, so maybe that will help with navigation. *But* (unless this has changed since I was there last) one thing to always remember is that you can't count on getting notifications from threads you're on! To be sure you are aware of all new posts to it, you pretty much have to keep checking the thread itself. Only the person whose exact post was clicked on and replied from gets a notification.

So, also keep that in mind when you are replying *to* someone -- if you want to be sure they will be the one who gets a notification, reply from their post. That also makes your post appear right under theirs, so some threads end up out of order as far as dates (i.e., newest posts are not necessarily at the bottoms of threads).

Some great info can also be found by using each boards' search feature (entire site/network can't be searched at once), but unfortunately the date cutoff is pretty short, like six months or a year back. Again, unless that's changed since I was there last.

(Hope that all made sense. I'm not good at explaining such details, in less than 63,000 words anyway!)

**** Below is a different cosmetic forum that also seems to be very popular, and is often referred to on the above ones. This one is layed out in a more common message board format.

http://messageboards.makemeheal.com/

Good luck, and by the way, I fully believe in doing this kind of thing for oneself. What you have in mind is not overly indulgent or indicative of unrealistic expectations by any means. :o)

 

Re: Talking to those who've been there... » confuzyq

Posted by Phillipa on January 26, 2008, at 20:11:11

In reply to Re: Talking to those who've been there... » Phillipa, posted by confuzyq on January 26, 2008, at 12:44:56

Thanks a few years ago went to one and all the ladies were very wealthy and flying to California for their proceedures which seemed to be non stop. Will check them out. Love Phillipa


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