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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Maxime on December 6, 2007, at 16:57:04
Hi
I really need help. I cut myself on my arms, legs, and stomach. I have been doing it more since I was released from the hospital.
For me, cutting serves two purposes: to relieve anxiety and to know that I am alive (by seeing blood).
Has anyone oversome this sort of behaviour and how? I don't want any more scars. I want to stop this behaviour but I can't.
Thank you.
Maxime
Posted by muffled on December 6, 2007, at 17:52:24
In reply to Anyone self harm? *self harm trigger*, posted by Maxime on December 6, 2007, at 16:57:04
I in my 40's.
I SI long time.
Citting, punching walls.
It is a coping mechanism, and it WORKS. It used to work very well for me.....other than the scars and lying bout my injuries......:-(
So now I rarely do it, and not so bad.
What helped me, was to recognize that SI was a tool for me, and I needed to replace it w/other tools that worked, and were more lifegiving than hacking myself, but they needed to WORK.
And OVER TIME, its gotten better. I have other coping mechanisms that DO work.
I also gave myself permission to cut, IF I truly needed to, and somehow that helped reduce the need to strangely enuf.
I also talked about it a fair amount with my T, so she too accepted it.
Now its not too bad.
Good luck.
M
Posted by llurpsienoodle on December 6, 2007, at 17:54:57
In reply to Anyone self harm? *self harm trigger*, posted by Maxime on December 6, 2007, at 16:57:04
Maxime, I stopped cutting about 6 weeks ago. It has been REALLY hard. Me and T were working on these self-destructive thoughts. He basically told me that I should read Marsha (Marcia?) Linehan's work on Dialectical Behavior Therapy. I read about it and it sounded like an awful lot of work. I hate work
Around the same time I decided that it was time to "get real" in therapy. I felt that T was an okay guy and that he had his anger under control (llurpsie very easily triggered by anger). So, I came in one day and said "I'll make a deal with you-- I'll stop acting out if YOU help me deal with some trauma stuff" He looked very surprised and said of course he would.
I am not going to lie. It was INCREDIBLY
hard to stop cutting. It was a habit that I had been reinforcing for sometime. It's hard to stop a habit coldturkey.Cutting can be addicting though. It's definitely something that you want to get under control
Tell us more about what you've done to stop cutting?
-Ll
Posted by Maxime on December 6, 2007, at 18:59:22
In reply to Re: Anyone self harm? *self harm trigger* » Maxime, posted by llurpsienoodle on December 6, 2007, at 17:54:57
I don't feel so alone now.
What I have done to stop cutting is writing out my feelings instead of cutting. And distracting myself by taking a walk. But in the end, I still cut. I feel so powerless.
What techniques do you use?
Maxime
> Maxime, I stopped cutting about 6 weeks ago. It has been REALLY hard. Me and T were working on these self-destructive thoughts. He basically told me that I should read Marsha (Marcia?) Linehan's work on Dialectical Behavior Therapy. I read about it and it sounded like an awful lot of work. I hate work
>
> Around the same time I decided that it was time to "get real" in therapy. I felt that T was an okay guy and that he had his anger under control (llurpsie very easily triggered by anger). So, I came in one day and said "I'll make a deal with you-- I'll stop acting out if YOU help me deal with some trauma stuff" He looked very surprised and said of course he would.
>
> I am not going to lie. It was INCREDIBLY
> hard to stop cutting. It was a habit that I had been reinforcing for sometime. It's hard to stop a habit coldturkey.
>
> Cutting can be addicting though. It's definitely something that you want to get under control
>
> Tell us more about what you've done to stop cutting?
> -Ll
Posted by Maxime on December 6, 2007, at 19:00:41
In reply to Re: Anyone self harm? *self harm trigger* » Maxime, posted by llurpsienoodle on December 6, 2007, at 17:54:57
Oh, re. Dialectical Behavior Therapy, you should find a group that offers the therapy. Reading a book isn't going to cut it. :)
Maxime
Posted by Maxime on December 6, 2007, at 19:01:41
In reply to Re: Anyone self harm? *self harm trigger* » Maxime, posted by muffled on December 6, 2007, at 17:52:24
What do you do instead of cutting?
Maxime
Posted by muffled on December 6, 2007, at 23:03:12
In reply to Re: Anyone self harm? *self harm trigger* » llurpsienoodle, posted by Maxime on December 6, 2007, at 18:59:22
> I don't feel so alone now.
>
> What I have done to stop cutting is writing out my feelings instead of cutting. And distracting myself by taking a walk. But in the end, I still cut. I feel so powerless.
>
> What techniques do you use?*Ahhh, feelings.....
Thems whats gets me into trouble!
My hardest thing is when I get overwhelmed by feelings.
But stopping cutting?
Well, I have just pretty much stopped due to therapy. I have not stopped for the sake of stopping cutting per se.
I have stopped cuz I don't NEED to so much.
I seem to be able to handle the things that brought me to the point of cutting better, there fore I don't often get to that point anymore.
Which isn't to say I don't THINK about SI lots still. But gradually less and less I think about it.
Instead, now, more often anyways(not always, I screw up) I cope in better ways, like you, by walking, also, I might bake, or make soup, or 'babble' on Babble!, or be around other people, journal, etc.
I used to try the 'in the moment' stuff, and I understand it works for some, but was not too successful for me.
Just my growth thru therapy has helped.
I dunno if thats any help?
Kinda vague I guess.
Sorry.
M
Posted by llurpsienoodle on December 7, 2007, at 7:09:47
In reply to Re: Anyone self harm? *self harm trigger* » llurpsienoodle, posted by Maxime on December 6, 2007, at 19:00:41
yeah, definitely reading about it is not enough for some people. I'm kinda nerdy-type so it helped me recognize the skills that the course/therapy teaches. I was like "hey- I can do that! I don't need to do worksheets and stuff"
What worked for me 3 things
1. I didn't want folks at work to think I was a crazy person. I went back to work and stopped cutting shortly thereafter.
2. I didn't want h to know
3. I didn't want to let down T. Once the words were outta my mouth, I recognized that cutting would be letting him down in some way. So the therapeutic relationship helped a lot.Substitute coping mechanisms that I used.
1. therapy
2. journalling about feelings
3. exercise
4. distraction (knitting, mostly)
5. petting kitty
6. babble & babblechat
7. meds (anxiolytics- klonopin, mostly)-->idle hands are the devil's workshop. If your hands are busy doing other things (I like craft projects) the they wont be used for more nefarious purposes.
I'm sorry you have felt alone with this for so long. I hope that you can relate to at least SOME of this. muffled gave me an interesting perspective on the use of cutting as a coping mechanism. It helped me understand that what I was doing was not horrible horrible, but rather part of a spectrum of self-destructive behavior.
-Ll
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