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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by happyflower on November 19, 2007, at 11:56:04
OMG, I was crying all through my last minute shower, crying since the alarm went off. I walked into my T's office and grabed the kleenex box and put it in my lap. I was trying so hard to hold it together while waiting in his waiting room, I was so close to falling apart, it it was for his fish tank, I would have been a pile of tears on the floor.
He knew something was up. I talked about grieving all the people in my life, people I lost who I haven't greived fully. grief grief grief. I was also so pissed too. I kicked some *ss in EMDR today with all my anger! There still is some, but I am more relaxed now. I am so pissed that my brother never got a funeral like little Lia. I was pissed that I didn't have parents who loved me like little Lia was. Then I am pissed at all of those people who have done me wrong in life. Thats a lot of anger to hold through out your life. SOme was released today with EMDR.
My T who lost his brother a year ago, was feeling a lot of my grief too when I spoke of my brother I think, he had tears in his eyes. I was a mess when I walked in the door, but walked out at least able to smile.
I think I found my safe place too, somewhere my mom can't get me. My T has a painting on his wall of pine trees, a lake, and mountains, a sureal looking scene actually, it is very old too, so that is part of it. I was having trouble calming down after the EMDR processing, and keep trying to relax my breathing, he mentioned being in the woods of my old safe place.But then I looked around and my eyes fixed on his painting. Then while I was looking at his painting, it relaxed me. I said that painting could be my safe place because it really doesn't exhist anywhere except in his office. My mom can't get me if I am hiding somewhere that really isn't there to get to. BINGO! jackpot ding ding , it will work I think. My T wants to try using it for my safe place.
This was a session I think I will never forget, it was powerful, emotional, and just amazing, and my T was so there for me. I still feel anger and tears but it is at a more tolerable level. The reason I am so angry, at least the main reason, was that I wished I could have been loved as much as little Lia was and I wasn't, and that is a hard thing to grief, something I never had in my life.I still feel heavy, but much lighter than this morning. I should weigh myself, I bet I lost 100 lbs in that session from the tears and the years of sadness and anger. It was such a touching experience for me.
Posted by Muffled on November 19, 2007, at 12:14:44
In reply to What a session today, posted by happyflower on November 19, 2007, at 11:56:04
Posted by happyflower on November 19, 2007, at 12:52:34
In reply to What a session today, posted by happyflower on November 19, 2007, at 11:56:04
I am thinking of asking if it is okay to take a picture of his painting, so I can have it with me on my cell phone. Maybe put it by my computer desk too.
Posted by happyflower on November 19, 2007, at 12:53:51
In reply to Re: What a session today, posted by happyflower on November 19, 2007, at 12:52:34
I need to give my dog a bath, but I am so exhausted from EMDR, I need a nap first.
Posted by Phillipa on November 19, 2007, at 12:54:18
In reply to What a session today, posted by happyflower on November 19, 2007, at 11:56:04
Happyflower wow what a relavation. I never would have thought of this. Thought it was the now grieving not the past. Wow your therapist must be very special. Love Phillipa
Posted by llurpsienoodle on November 19, 2007, at 15:15:43
In reply to Re: What a session today, posted by happyflower on November 19, 2007, at 12:52:34
mmm. I love the woods. My safe place too. I used to lose myself for hours there. You know the story...
I'm glad you got some of the grief out. I hope you continue to heal. You've been doing some really good work
:')
-Ll
Posted by happyflower on November 19, 2007, at 16:14:12
In reply to Re: What a session today » happyflower, posted by llurpsienoodle on November 19, 2007, at 15:15:43
Posted by Deputy Dinah on November 19, 2007, at 16:50:40
In reply to PDNP to me. thanks. (nm) » llurpsienoodle, posted by happyflower on November 19, 2007, at 16:14:12
Please review the site guidelines in the FAQ.
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#harassed
Follow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. They, as well as replies to the above posts, should of course themselves be civil.
Dr. Bob is always free to override deputy decisions. His email is on the bottom of each page. Please feel free to email him if you believe this decision was made in error.
Dinah, acting as deputy to Dr. Bob
Posted by happyflower on November 19, 2007, at 18:06:18
In reply to Re: What a session today » happyflower, posted by Phillipa on November 19, 2007, at 12:54:18
Thanks Phillipa,
I guess it is true the present can trigger feelings from the past. Either happy or sad ones. Kinda like a wedding, can bring up memories of your happy day, etc. But it is really hard when the present triggers things from your past that were hurtful and sad.
I do have a good T I believe. I am doing much better with him, I don't even get angry at him either like I did the old one. He is safe and gentle with me and so supportive too. It is amazing at the difference.Plus he helps his wife clean the house before Thanksgiving too, even the toliets. My old T doesn't do toliets. Maybe it is a germ thing. We talked about that.
Now that I think about it, it is kinda symbolic. My old T would not deal with my old sh*t, but my new T does. LOL. I have to tell him this next session! lol My T does toliets! yes! bad anology, but a true one. Maybe he is the one to help me clean up all the sh*t inside my toliet self. lol
Posted by happyflower on November 19, 2007, at 18:08:34
In reply to Re: What a session today, posted by happyflower on November 19, 2007, at 18:06:18
Posted by Raindancer on November 19, 2007, at 18:11:23
In reply to What a session today, posted by happyflower on November 19, 2007, at 11:56:04
What a great session, Happyflower and what you write sounds very moving and powerful too. I am so glad your T is so supportive and understanding. I am so sad for you that you didn't have the love you needed from your mother, but despite the really awful start you have had in life, you have become an amazing, strong and compassionate person and I honour you for your courage and your kindness to others. This has been a really tough time for you, but may your life yet be filled with many blessings. Your friend, Rain.
Posted by happyflower on November 19, 2007, at 18:42:59
In reply to Re: What a session today » happyflower, posted by Raindancer on November 19, 2007, at 18:11:23
WOw, Rain,
Your post have moved me, is it okay to make a copy and post it by my desk? You are such a sweetie, I am glad we know each other. Thanks so much for all your support and those kind words. I am overwhelmed with how nice you are.
Posted by Raindancer on November 20, 2007, at 15:30:51
In reply to Re: What a session today » Raindancer, posted by happyflower on November 19, 2007, at 18:42:59
Please do Happyflower, for every word is true. Take care. Rain
Posted by Dr. Bob on November 20, 2007, at 23:35:45
In reply to Please follow site guidelines » happyflower, posted by Deputy Dinah on November 19, 2007, at 16:50:40
> Dr. Bob is always free to override deputy decisions.
I'm sorry about the losses you're dealing with, but this has come up before, so I'm going to block you from posting instead.
But please don't take this personally, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're a bad person. And I don't want anything bad to happen to you. In a crisis, please also get help in person. You may also wish to check out a listing compiled by a poster of helpful web pages on coping with crisis at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/psycho-babble-tips/links/Coping_with_crisis_001012507973
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, please first see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#harassed
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforceFollow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. They, as well as replies to the above post, should of course themselves be civil.
Thanks,
Bob
PS: According to the new formula:
duration of previous block: 2 weeks
period of time since previous block: 19 weeks
severity: 2 (default) + 1 (uncivil toward particular individual) = 3
block length = 3.89 rounded = 4 weeks
This is the end of the thread.
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