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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by Wittgenstein on August 12, 2007, at 13:47:32
In reply to Re: ok, we need a light thread, posted by TherapyGirl on August 12, 2007, at 13:03:47
Thanks for this light post SD. I haven't posted here for absolutely ages, so this is a good way to get back into things gently.
There seems to be quite some variation in my T's dressing habits - sometimes a full suit, tie and waistcoat. Other times he wears corduroys and a jumper that I imagine his wife knitted for him. Not yet seen him in shorts although he's happily sported white socks and sandals - what a no no!
Last session, the first after 3 weeks he was wearing brown trousers, a long-sleeve white shirt with... wait for it... a bright red over-sized short-sleeve polo-shirt on top - I don't know what was going on there but I was just pleased to see him again so it didn't matter (I think he might have been doing some decorating or something as there were workmen wandering around in his back garden)!
I like it best when he's wearing one of his warm and cuddly jumpers. I'm not much of a formal dresser and casual makes me feel more comfortable.
As for his car. I don't think he owns a car - he rides a black city bike (in Holland it's not unusual just to have a bicycle - especially with the older generations).
Posted by vwoolf on August 12, 2007, at 14:06:32
In reply to Re: ok, we need a light thread, posted by Wittgenstein on August 12, 2007, at 13:47:32
Mine wears pretty bland stuff mostly, but very untidy - hems down, tears etc. Always cheap jeans or trousers, usually with Doc Martins or other boots. She clearly just doesn't care much about appearance. Her car is the same - battered, dirty, full of junk.
What am I doing with this woman, you may ask. I'm not sure. I've been seeing her for four years. But it's definitely not got anything to do with style.
Actually I love her lack of concern with appearances.
Posted by Tamar on August 12, 2007, at 14:07:03
In reply to Re: ok, we need a light thread, posted by Wittgenstein on August 12, 2007, at 13:47:32
My therapist does a good job of attempting to look smart, but he doesn’t always pull it off. He almost always wears dark blue trousers, a blue shirt with a tie, and grey socks with brown shoes. If it’s very hot he abandons the tie and rolls up his sleeves.
But he hardly ever polishes his shoes, his hair is usually a bit tousled, and he never seems to tie his tie properly: the front of the tie is usually backwards with the label showing. Sometimes the lowest button of his shirt comes undone and I can see an inch of hairy tummy. Frankly I like it, but it’s embarrassing because I find myself looking at it and then looking away, and then looking again, and looking away… and so on. And I’m sure he thinks I’m crotch-gazing. I should probably tell him about it but I have no idea how to phrase it!
Posted by RealMe on August 12, 2007, at 14:13:39
In reply to ok, we need a light thread, posted by sunnydays on August 12, 2007, at 10:11:45
Yes. It seems that light threads are all that may be possible here from what I am seeing.
Posted by Tamar on August 12, 2007, at 14:28:43
In reply to Re: ok, we need a light thread, posted by Tamar on August 12, 2007, at 14:07:03
His car is tiny. It's the smallest car I've ever seen. But you know what they say about men who need to drive big cars... I'm assuming the converse is also true...
Posted by sunnydays on August 12, 2007, at 14:33:48
In reply to Re: ok, we need a light thread » sunnydays, posted by RealMe on August 12, 2007, at 14:13:39
I disagree, although you're certainly entitled to only post to light threads if you feel you need to. I think Babble has been a fairly safe place in the past for deep threads and still is. We all just have to take care of our privacy and make sure we show each other the respect of not disclosing private info we may have about them on the boards. The light thread is really just for everyone to take their minds off some of the heavier stuff that's been going on here and in our real lives, since lots of people have been struggling lately.
Take care,
sunnydays
Posted by sunnydays on August 12, 2007, at 15:01:33
In reply to ok, we need a light thread, posted by sunnydays on August 12, 2007, at 10:11:45
Ok, here's a follow-up question for everyone:
Is there an item in your T's office that you have wondered/ been curious about?
In my T's office there's this feathered thing that I can't really see very well from where I sit on his bookcase. It kind of looks like a dead bird or something. Someday I'll get up the nerve to ask him what it is. My T has tons of interesting stuff in his office, but that and this rope thing that kind of looks like a tree in a circle that hangs behind my head are the two things I've always wondered about. He also has a leather drum on one wall that I wonder where he got - I imagine that he went somewhere exotic and got it, but that's probably not true, knowing my T.
sunnydays
Posted by annierose on August 12, 2007, at 15:13:59
In reply to follow-up question » sunnydays, posted by sunnydays on August 12, 2007, at 15:01:33
My t (female) dresses mostly in business casual ... sometimes a tad more casual, sometimes a tad more business ... always appropriate. She is extremely fit and tiny so everything looks nice on her. I would like to update some of her clothes though.
Funny thing in her office ... hmmm ... not sure there is anything since I close my eyes but I would like to update the pictures in her waiting area.
Posted by JoniS on August 12, 2007, at 15:17:57
In reply to ok, we need a light thread, posted by sunnydays on August 12, 2007, at 10:11:45
My T wears casual comfortable clothes. Usually button up shirts or golf shirts. Khaki pants or linen pants. Sandals a lot in summer. Sometimes boots cowboy or hiking in winter
Drives a Gold Honda Accord now, used to be a Ford Crown vic or something like that.
Love Tofuemmy's post - I'm right there too!
Posted by twinleaf on August 12, 2007, at 15:19:45
In reply to Re: ok, we need a light thread » RealMe, posted by sunnydays on August 12, 2007, at 14:33:48
These highly educated people to whom we are entrusting our deepest secrets- and our hopes for better mental health- really do wear some hilarious things! I think Wittgenstein's is so funny: I know it's Holland, but I've never heard of a man wearing a jumper- not to mention some of his other combinations! And Tamar's with his buttons popping open- obviously no undershirts there!
My new T startled me at first by wearing sort of ragged chinos and casual short-sleeved shirts with stripes and plaids- unlike the first T who always wore grey dress trousers, a dress shirt, tie and jacket. I thought they were a bit loud, and the colors seemed to clash sometimes, but he did seem professionally dressed. On the days he taught, he wore either a grey or blue suit, and looked really nice then.
With my new T, I got up my courage to tell him that I was startled by how informally he dressed. I actually said that I was probably old-fashioned, and needed to get up to speed on what T's actually wear now. He told me that he was glad I had told him. THEN, he changed completely! Now, at least on the days I go, he is wearing the same dark grey suit, with a white shirt, but no tie. It seems like a sort of pretend dress-up- for me-and I have to admit that I'm a bit uneasy. I just keep reminding myself that it's my job to say my thoughts and feeling, but.....
Posted by TherapyGirl on August 12, 2007, at 15:38:17
In reply to follow-up question » sunnydays, posted by sunnydays on August 12, 2007, at 15:01:33
My T has a little figure of an older woman sitting, with a book or something in her hands. She seems quiet and peaceful and reminds me of my T, who is not as old as the figure, and certainly wasn't in our early days. I can't remember when she added it, but it's been there since the early years. I've always assumed that another client gave it to her, but who knows? But when she retires, it is the one thing in her office I wish she would give to me.
Posted by Tamar on August 12, 2007, at 16:06:14
In reply to Re: ok, we need a light thread, posted by twinleaf on August 12, 2007, at 15:19:45
> I think Wittgenstein's is so funny: I know it's Holland, but I've never heard of a man wearing a jumper
I think maybe Wittgenstein's T's jumper is a sweater! Certainly in British English that's what jumper means.
Reminds me of the idea of a man going out wearing a vest with pants and suspenders. In the US he'd be quite well dressed, but in the UK he'd be arrested!
Posted by peddidle on August 12, 2007, at 16:12:24
In reply to Re: follow-up question, posted by annierose on August 12, 2007, at 15:13:59
> My t (female) dresses mostly in business casual ... sometimes a tad more casual, sometimes a tad more business ... always appropriate.
**My T dresses the same way. She always dresses well, but I actually prefer when she's dressed more casually-- it fits better with the casual way she sits in the chair. It also feels more comfortable for me because, since it's at school, I'm usually dressed casually.
I can also tell she's a big shoe person, like me. I think she has more pairs of shoes than I do. :)
Posted by caraher on August 12, 2007, at 16:53:23
In reply to oh, and his car..., posted by Tamar on August 12, 2007, at 14:28:43
> His car is tiny. It's the smallest car I've ever seen. But you know what they say about men who need to drive big cars... I'm assuming the converse is also true...
Oh yes, absolutely it's true... he gets much better fuel economy! ;)
Good to see you back!
Posted by twinleaf on August 12, 2007, at 17:02:36
In reply to translation?, posted by Tamar on August 12, 2007, at 16:06:14
Oh, O.K! I didn't know that- a sweater seems reasonable. I had this mental image of him dressed in trousers, with, basically, a dress over it! Thanks for setting me straight.
Posted by annierose on August 12, 2007, at 19:52:50
In reply to Re: follow-up question » annierose, posted by peddidle on August 12, 2007, at 16:12:24
I barely get a chance to see what my t wears on most days since I close my eyes during our sessions. But my t isn't a clothes-horse or a shoe person --- that much I know.
Posted by annierose on August 12, 2007, at 19:55:47
In reply to Re: ok, we need a light thread, posted by twinleaf on August 12, 2007, at 15:19:45
I agree Twinleaf ... if my t changed the manner of her dressed based on a comment I made during a session, I would want to back-peddle and say, "I didn't mind the chinos, it just took me awhile to get to used to it."
On the other hand, it is darling that he would want to accommodate your style preference.
Posted by twinleaf on August 12, 2007, at 20:34:12
In reply to Re: ok, we need a light thread » twinleaf, posted by annierose on August 12, 2007, at 19:55:47
Thanks for your thoughts, AnnieRose. I did appreciate his efforts, in a way, but, most of all, I would have liked to see him just be HIM- to feel strong enough in himself to stay just as he was- while allowing me to express my feelings as freely as I could. It all comes from having a banker for a father- they REALLY dress up for work- even today!
Posted by Wittgenstein on August 13, 2007, at 3:13:55
In reply to translation?, posted by Tamar on August 12, 2007, at 16:06:14
Lol! I was wondering what was so strange about jumpers - yes a jumper (British English) is a sweater.
What is a jumper in US English? A jump suit - a mechanic's outfit?!
Yes.. and pants in British English aren't 'trousers' but underpants.
I'm sure in the beginning my T dressed more formally and as time has gone on he seems to have become more relaxed. Perhaps T's do dress somewhat for their clients.
As for his office - I like the strange objects and pictures. I can't see very well, so on one occasion he let me explore his room for 10 minutes while he was absent. It was a weird experiment but it made me feel more comfortable. I asked him just the other session about something on the far side of the room. So, he made me go over to it and take a look - I thought they were panpipes but instead it was this strange Tanzanian wood-carving of a mother and child. He travels a lot so his room is full of interesting things.
Out of sight from his clients (patients) but opposite his desk in an alcove he has this big abstract painting of a naked woman - of course I've seen it as I was allowed to wander around his office - I'm glad I don't have to look at it ordinarily though.
Perhaps now to reverse the question - what do you wear for your T?
I'm afraid I make about as much effort as my T. I usually turn up in running shoes, trousers and a t-shirt (I cycle part of the way so need to wear comfortable clothes).
It's funny, I want to change my image. I still wear teenage grunge but want to look more womanly - one of my concerns is that if I do change, he'll think I'm doing it for him!
Witti
Posted by antigua3 on August 13, 2007, at 9:14:43
In reply to ok, we need a light thread, posted by sunnydays on August 12, 2007, at 10:11:45
My T is always dressed impeccably. She seems to love clothes and SHOES.She always looks perfect--hair, makeup, etc. She says she tries to do that so her clients won't know what she's really like!
antigua
Posted by sunnydays on August 13, 2007, at 9:43:56
In reply to Re: translation?, posted by Wittgenstein on August 13, 2007, at 3:13:55
A jumper in America is kind of like a dress. A woman would wear it over some kind of shirt because the top of it is shaped more like overalls.
sunnydays
Posted by sunnydays on August 13, 2007, at 9:47:10
In reply to Re: translation?, posted by Wittgenstein on August 13, 2007, at 3:13:55
I don't dress up anymore for T, although I do try not to wear very low-cut shirts or short skirts because the one time I wore a shirt that was vaguely low-cut I felt extremely uncomfortable (for some reason that was a session he thought we needed to talk about sex, so that didn't help). But mostly I just wear jeans and a T-shirt or a nicer shirt. Every once in a while I wear a skirt. Sandals in the summer, sneakers or boots in the winter.
sunnydays
Posted by Dinah on August 13, 2007, at 13:16:59
In reply to ok, we need a light thread, posted by sunnydays on August 12, 2007, at 10:11:45
Business casual on Tuesdays, jeans on Friday. Shoes always perfectly shined. Hair always exactly the same except for style changes so he must get very frequent trims. But then on the other hand, he whipped out a nail file and filed his nails the other day. I know he probably had a tear or something, but still an apology would have been nice.
Car is sports car. He had one that he loved for a long time, but since then he seems to swap them out every couple of years. Rental?
He finally explained the pigs briefly and without detail. It was a gift. When I get upset I'll stare at an object in the room, and sometimes he gets up and picks up what I'm staring at and softly explains the significance. I think it's a way he sensitively reorients me. He seems to like Native American touches.
I always wear casual. Long skirts and sleeveless tops, or pants and sleeveless tops. I would never wear shorts, because I'd be self conscious. I accidentally forgot something in my car and wrote in the elevator with the client immediately before me who wore jean shorts. I admired that. Leggings would also feel too intimate to me, although I wear them at other times.
Posted by TherapyGirl on August 13, 2007, at 18:02:55
In reply to what you wear for T » Wittgenstein, posted by sunnydays on August 13, 2007, at 9:47:10
I don't dress up anymore either. Usually I wear shorts and a top. Sometimes capris and a top. In the winter, usually jeans and a long-sleeve top. I used to dress up more in the early years, but now it's more important for me to be as comfortable as possible.
Posted by DAisym on August 14, 2007, at 0:57:17
In reply to Re: what you wear for T, posted by TherapyGirl on August 13, 2007, at 18:02:55
He wears slacks and short sleeve polos or dress shirts. In the winter he wears sweaters. My favorite outfit is a black polo with black slacks. Very "now." He has casual black or brown shoes -- dark socks, no sandals. He has this one shirt that is kind of purple/yellow deal that is so unlike anything else he wears. I'm always startled when it shows up, kind of a, "what were you thinking? Is the laundry not done?" bleck.
I typically wear business whatever. Suits, skirts, pant suits. If I wear jeans or a skirt and sandals, no stockings, he sometimes asks, "aren't you working today?" Because I see him frequently I see his wardrobe and he sees mine. I never thought he noticed until he said once, "but you have a lot of outfits...right?" Blush, yeah... Two weeks ago, when I was really falling apart he told me it was OK to come in my pjs...as long as I came. I thought that was nice.
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