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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by sunnydays on August 8, 2007, at 20:44:51
Seriously. I think I am majorly defective. I am way too sensitive. I keep feeling like people at work are yelling at me when they're not at all, I'm reacting to all sorts of stuff on Babble more strongly than I should. Is there a way to turn off my feelings? My T says the reason I can have fun now and smile and laugh is because I am also letting myself feel deep pain. But I'm tired of feeling pain. I'm tired. I miss my T. I want to see him. I'm scared, I'm sad, I'm furious at my mother. I feel like I'm falling apart.
What's wrong with me?
sunnydays
Posted by slugdoo on August 8, 2007, at 21:16:42
In reply to what is wrong with me?, posted by sunnydays on August 8, 2007, at 20:44:51
Well I don't think there is anything wrong with you except you have a lot of stressful stuff to handle without your T at the moment, and that can make anyone feel that way.
I like what your T said about feeling pain is helping you feel good too. There is some old saying about that, can't think of it, but some babbler probably knows. Something that you don't know happiness until you have experienced pain.
I think I am not used to feeling negative emotions and I don't always react the correct way, the way some have been taught as children. But I am trying to learn it, but it is so hard not to feel that way sometimes. You are okay sunnydays, things will get better.
Posted by DAisym on August 8, 2007, at 23:05:12
In reply to what is wrong with me?, posted by sunnydays on August 8, 2007, at 20:44:51
It is hard to be a sensitive person in an insensitive world. I claimed for a very long time to not be sensitive until I started therapy and found my feelings. My therapist almost always tells me, "you probably always were a sensitive soul, you just had to hide it." Last week, when I was railing against being so easily hurt, he said, "You seem to think being sensitive is a bad thing. Well I've been accused of being "overly" sensitive too. Do you find that to be a character flaw in me?" Ug - So we talked about how he handles stuff and what I can do to protect myself from being hurt. But it isn't helpful to be so self-critical. (easier said than done, I know.)
There really isn't anything wrong with you. But it is still painful to be so aware and raw all the time. I suggest trying to find techniques that work for you to protect yourself as much as possible. I think GG has a giant pair of sunglasses that she puts on when she is getting "sunburned" by the world. There is a book too, but I can't remember the title right now. I'll try to think of it.
Mostly I just wanted to say that I think your therapist is right. Being able to feel deeply means you can feel great joy and happiness. And that is a gift.
Posted by Dinah on August 8, 2007, at 23:32:25
In reply to what is wrong with me?, posted by sunnydays on August 8, 2007, at 20:44:51
One book on the topic is "The Highly Sensitive Person" by Elaine Aron. It's not wrong, it's just a way of being - neither right nor wrong. There's no denying that it can make life difficult, but it can also make life special in some ways.
Posted by peddidle on August 8, 2007, at 23:32:36
In reply to Re: what is wrong with me?, posted by slugdoo on August 8, 2007, at 21:16:42
I think maybe the saying you're looking for is "If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."
Posted by peddidle on August 9, 2007, at 0:23:52
In reply to what is wrong with me?, posted by sunnydays on August 8, 2007, at 20:44:51
I think I know what the problem is: you're human. Happiness is a blessing, but, unfortunately, it comes with a price. (I actually wrote a paper about this last semester, so I apologize if I start sounding too analytical or philosophical) You're T is right, you wouldn't be able to feel happiness if you hadn't also experienced sadness.
Your extra stresses right now are, no doubt, adding to your frustrations, and it doesn't help that your T is on vacation. You're probably feeling some extremes right now, but in general, I think what you are feeling is natural "normal" everyday emotions. I don't think therapy is meant to make us perpetually happy, rather, I think the goal is to help us learn to navigate the ups and downs of an imperfect world.
I already mentioned one quote in my previous post, but here are some others:"I takes both sunshine and rain to make a rainbow."
"Only if you have been in the deepest valley can you ever know how magnificent it is to be on the highest mountain."
Posted by Nathan_Arizona on August 9, 2007, at 6:53:41
In reply to what is wrong with me?, posted by sunnydays on August 8, 2007, at 20:44:51
Like everyone else, I don't think that there is anything wrong with you at all.
I used to have days where I felt "inside out" with all of this sensitive stuff exposed and everything people said and did hurt.
As it turns out, it was a big part of my recovery - learning to deal with that hurt, realize what is was, and then gradually relax against it.
It may seem little consolation right now, but it will pass - at least it did for me.
Posted by sunnydays on August 9, 2007, at 18:56:50
In reply to Re: what is wrong with me?, posted by slugdoo on August 8, 2007, at 21:16:42
Thanks sd. I really appreciate it. My stress and anxiety level has been through the roof all day today, so I can't think of much else to write. But thank you.
sunnydays
Posted by sunnydays on August 9, 2007, at 19:08:24
In reply to Re: what is wrong with me? » sunnydays, posted by DAisym on August 8, 2007, at 23:05:12
> It is hard to be a sensitive person in an insensitive world. I claimed for a very long time to not be sensitive until I started therapy and found my feelings.
**** I would have probably said I was too sensitive even before starting therapy. But I have found so many emotions since I started that now I would even consider myself stoic before. And I feel like there are a lot of emotions I don't allow myself to feel or express, and that may be where a lot of my anxiety is coming from.
My therapist almost always tells me, "you probably always were a sensitive soul, you just had to hide it." Last week, when I was railing against being so easily hurt, he said, "You seem to think being sensitive is a bad thing. Well I've been accused of being "overly" sensitive too. Do you find that to be a character flaw in me?" Ug - So we talked about how he handles stuff and what I can do to protect myself from being hurt. But it isn't helpful to be so self-critical. (easier said than done, I know.)
>**** Yeah. My T will say to me sometimes, "Don't judge yourself so harshly, sunnydays. You're ok." And that means so much to me when he says that.
> There really isn't anything wrong with you. But it is still painful to be so aware and raw all the time. I suggest trying to find techniques that work for you to protect yourself as much as possible. I think GG has a giant pair of sunglasses that she puts on when she is getting "sunburned" by the world. There is a book too, but I can't remember the title right now. I'll try to think of it.
**** When I'm home, I hug a stuffed animal I have and wrap myself in a blanket. But it's so hard. And I'm so anxious right now I feel like I might pass out. Only there's no reason for me to be this anxious.
>
> Mostly I just wanted to say that I think your therapist is right. Being able to feel deeply means you can feel great joy and happiness. And that is a gift.**** I guess so. Except for the sadness.
sunnydays
Posted by sunnydays on August 9, 2007, at 19:08:52
In reply to Not a thing » sunnydays, posted by Dinah on August 8, 2007, at 23:32:25
Thanks for the book title Dinah. I'll look at it.
sunnydays
Posted by sunnydays on August 9, 2007, at 19:15:41
In reply to Re: what is wrong with me?, posted by peddidle on August 9, 2007, at 0:23:52
These can't be normal everyday emotions. They're way too strong and intense. And right now I'm so anxious I can barely breathe. I don't know how to calm down. Uggh.
sunnydays
Posted by sunnydays on August 9, 2007, at 19:16:26
In reply to Re: what is wrong with me?, posted by Nathan_Arizona on August 9, 2007, at 6:53:41
Thanks. I need to try to relax. I'm so incredibly anxious right now.
sunnydays
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