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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by slugdoo on July 20, 2007, at 17:05:04
I just had a session over a week ago, I have been feelings lots of stuff, remembering lots of stuff that I had forgotten. Feeling lost, I need my T , but he is out of the country. So I go to the library to search for something, anything to make me feel good.
Well I found a book written by a T who experienced EMDR during training. Usually you learn how, by being in groups of 3, ones does the EMDR, one is the client and the other is the observer. Well they are asked to use a bad memory from the past, but not a really bad one to focus on during the eye movements. Well she experienced what I did, that the minor memory wasn't anything compaired to what was brought up. I just related so much to what she was saying, I was in tears, and I almost have read the entire book today. It is very well written, more of like her personal experiences as a client of having EMDR, and her experiences as being a T and using it on her own clients. I am just amazed at it all.
I know my feelings lately is part of the treatment I had last week. The book is by Laurel Parnell and it is called Transforming Trauma EMDR.Okay this is the triggering part, so don't read if you are triggered by child abuse or animal cruelty anything
Well the memory I was concentrating on in my last session was me performing a solo at my last jazz ensemble concert.
Well during EMDR, you think about how your body felt along with the memory.
Well that feelings brought back memories of the last time I failed on stage when I was 13 or so. The laughter I heard when she repeatedly played that vcr tape over and over. She said I was such a loser , etc.
Well that feeling I felt went back to when I was much younger maybe 4 or 5 when she used to take daddy long legs spiders and rip off some of their legs and made them walk. She used to laugh and warned me she would do that to me when I was bad.
can you imagine the fear I must have felt and I wanted to save the spiders from her. I felt so sorry for the crippled spiders.
I guess that explains my intense fear of spiders, and I really get upset when people joke about animal cruelity or do that stuff to animals.
Posted by slugdoo on July 20, 2007, at 18:14:05
In reply to EMDR is some intense stuff * last part trigger*, posted by slugdoo on July 20, 2007, at 17:05:04
and for some reason I trigger very badly on what happens to captured soldiers and the stuff that happend during the holocost. I dont' know if it is a trigger, but I get very sick to my stomach when I think about it and it is hard to get it out of my mind, a lot like animal abuse stuff.
Posted by slugdoo on July 20, 2007, at 20:11:29
In reply to EMDR is some intense stuff * last part trigger*, posted by slugdoo on July 20, 2007, at 17:05:04
wow, I just finished reading Laural's book and it ahas to be one of the best psych books I have ever read about overcoming trauma. Her personal story and her client's stories are very overwhelming, a lot like my past was.
I feel much
better about myself now. I feel like I have the relationship I need from my T to help me. I have a lot more trust and our relationship has evolved a lot since 2 years ago when we first did this.One thing different this time ,was that we ended my session doing emdr of me thinking of my safe place, which is my pond and waterfall. It did calm me down. I guess after reading this book, it looks like my T knows I am up for some tough stuff. I think i can do it, but I am scared. But But this book gave me a lot of courage to keep going, keep peeling those onion layers back. I kinda feel at peace tonight, not sure why.
Posted by slugdoo on July 20, 2007, at 20:20:16
In reply to I finished the book, feeling better about EMDR,, posted by slugdoo on July 20, 2007, at 20:11:29
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0393317579/psychomentalheal
Posted by slugdoo on July 20, 2007, at 21:09:29
In reply to link to book, posted by slugdoo on July 20, 2007, at 20:20:16
I am just not thinking right
Posted by B2chica on July 23, 2007, at 11:15:49
In reply to EMDR is some intense stuff * last part trigger*, posted by slugdoo on July 20, 2007, at 17:05:04
> Well that feeling I felt went back to when I was much younger maybe 4 or 5 when she used to take daddy long legs spiders and rip off some of their legs and made them walk. She used to laugh and warned me she would do that to me when I was bad.
> can you imagine the fear I must have felt and I wanted to save the spiders from her. I felt so sorry for the crippled spiders.i'm so sorry for this memory Sl. it's such a scary memory.
my brother used to do stuff like that (with hidden/not so hidden threats to me). except he'd pull off all but one of their legs so they really couldn't go anywhere. he's sit on me and make me watch. sometimes he'd put the helpless bug on my back...
..i'd cry when he'd do it....i don't know if it was more for the bugs or more for me....he so often made me feel like those bugs, with one leg. in a way, he treated me just like those bugs. he pulled off my legs too...making me helpless, no where i could run. he was such an angry child.
Posted by slugdoo on July 23, 2007, at 15:36:18
In reply to Re: EMDR is some intense stuff * last part trigger, posted by B2chica on July 23, 2007, at 11:15:49
Isn't it just aweful what some people think is good fun. I used to try to save the more spiders in a box, but I couldn't they died by the next day. I just don't understand it.
I found out from another neighbor that they killed a dog in a distrubing way to get back at his girlfriend, and he was a police officer. Well he is going to prison for that one.
I just don't get it.
This is the end of the thread.
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