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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by gazo on April 21, 2007, at 23:34:22
i know i need therapy. That is no secret. But there are problems i worrry about. Financial is one thing... i have very good reason to worry about being able to keep paying for it. It really worries me that i could come to trust this guy, get into difficult issues and then have to abruptly terminate due to money problems.
and then there is the other issue...
my life is complicated at best right now. Starting therapy and knowing that we will be digging around in my past has raised some ugly demons for me.. that component has been big in my recent binging lifestyle.
so i am wondering if maybe therapy isn't right for me now... maybe i should be waiting until the immediate crisis is over? Maybe trying to do all of this right now is too much?
or... maybe it would be the extra support i need to get through it..
i am confused. i think primarily i am worried about losing this resource at a bad time.. getting "hooked" and then losing it.
what should i do?
Posted by Happyflower on April 21, 2007, at 23:55:52
In reply to when is therapy too much?, posted by gazo on April 21, 2007, at 23:34:22
((((gazo))) I believe that we all have doubts about therapy for a lot of reasons. Now I know your reasons are valid ones, but something keeps popping up in my head.
I remember you calling your T recentaly after your session, could it be possible that maybe you are scared to face him after the phone call?You seem to have wonderful T and you are making great stides in getting better, I hope you continue with therapy. A lot of T's work on a sliding scale based on your wages. There are almost always options to get therapy if you need it. (((((gazo))))))
Posted by Daisym on April 22, 2007, at 0:23:17
In reply to Re: when is therapy too much? » gazo, posted by Happyflower on April 21, 2007, at 23:55:52
I think these are concerns to bring to your current therapist. HF is right, you might be afraid of something and avoiding therapy because of it. I do that all the time!
But you are wise to consider all sides of this. It is very hard when you are in the thick of it to live life and keep focused.
Good luck.
Posted by gazo on April 22, 2007, at 8:08:15
In reply to Re: when is therapy too much? » gazo, posted by Happyflower on April 21, 2007, at 23:55:52
i think you are right in part at least. i am afraid and avoiding... but it's because i am afraid to risk trust and closeness and then lose it before i can work through things.
i am going through so much turmoil. You know the crisis i have looming.. and still no date set for that yet (blessing and a curse). That puts me on edge completely.. and then even considering that we might talk about my past just shoves me over.
i don't know how to cope so i cope through drinking, partying, and other self destructive and dangerous behaviours. Sometimes i take too many pills just half hearted.. i cope the way i coped back when many things went wrong in my life. Some think i'm just trying to act out or look cool.. but it hurts, it hurts really bad and i haven't been able to stop myself. It's cope the only way i know how or find escape... the coping i have is safer.
how can i risk going deeper and then having it taken away? You know some of my situation.. you know that risk is real. What do i do?
Posted by gazo on April 22, 2007, at 8:09:58
In reply to Re: when is therapy too much?, posted by Daisym on April 22, 2007, at 0:23:17
thank you Daisy.. i know what you mean. Already i have questioned whether i'm being an idiot to be in therapy, or questioning the T's motives for helping me or anyone else. i always come back to the friend-for-rent feeling.
Posted by Honore on April 22, 2007, at 11:41:01
In reply to Re: when is therapy too much? » Daisym, posted by gazo on April 22, 2007, at 8:09:58
Hi, Gazo.
The issues you raise are important. I think you can discuss the financial one with your T, and try to get some idea how you and he could handle a transitional reduction in your finances. He might be able to reassure you on that, or at least put you into a position to make a solid judgment about that element of your future with him.
About whether going into the past would push you too far,--you might also ask him about it. Perhaps you and he could try to remain somehwat more focussed on immediate or daily concerns, with only occasional excursions back into your earlier history, as your level of trust and comfort increases.
Sometimes it takes time to build a foundation for that sort of unleashing of demons. Even now, there are definitely times when my T and I try to remain on lighter topic-- even being almost chatty-- when it seems that other issues will tear the fabric of security (insofar as I have it) or decent functioning that I"ve been building up. When I seem more able to contain things, we move into harder areas. It does take time for a T to know how much to broach those things-- and to have the finesse to lead you away form them in a creditable way, if they start opening up.
If this T is someone you really can trust, as you've said you feel, I would try to keep the relationship going, as long as the financial element is safe. Even though it's hard at times not to go to the worst things, maybe he can help you, if you ask him, to stay on slightly surer ground.
Honore
Posted by gazo on April 22, 2007, at 18:43:23
In reply to Re: when is therapy too much?, posted by Honore on April 22, 2007, at 11:41:01
>Sometimes it takes time to build a foundation for that sort of unleashing of demons. Even now, there are definitely times when my T and I try to remain on lighter topic-- even being almost chatty-- when it seems that other issues will tear the fabric of security (insofar as I have it) or decent functioning that I"ve been building up. When I seem more able to contain things, we move into harder areas. It does take time for a T to know how much to broach those things-- and to have the finesse to lead you away form them in a creditable way, if they start opening up.
well, this is the problem in a way... i am in a rough place mentally. The behaviours i have been going through lately are not safe but it's how i survive. i wish i had the ability to just back away from the harder things right now. It's like things are bursting to the surface without pause.
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