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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by TherapyGirl on April 18, 2007, at 18:46:30
Okay, I know I'm a big girl and I should be able to deal with this, BUT...
My T called me today and said she'd had a death in her family over the weekend, she just got back from out of state and she was worn out and wanted to take the rest of the week off. I did manage to tell her I was sorry. But then after she canceled my session she said, "Is that okay?" So of course I said, "No." I followed that up by telling her I would be fine. She mentioned that she would be at home and available for emergencies. I told her there wasn't an emergency.
So here's the issue -- I honestly do feel bad about the death in her family and I have no doubt that she's in no shape to do therapy this week. But this is also one of those hit-me-with-reality, she's-not-really-family moments for me. She feels like my family and so every time something like this happens and I realize she's canceling on me because I'm WORK, it bowls me over.
The other issue is that I've had a lot going on this month and she was already on vacation two weeks ago. So canceling this week means that I've missed half my sessions with her. And that means the sessions I have had have been spent in "reporter" mode with not much actualy therapy going on. And there are a couple of major issues that I feel I need to deal with before I shove them down again. And I don't like feeling like I've lost the whole month to her "real life."
So I called tonight and left her a voice mail. I reiterated that I was sorry about the death and that I was fine with her taking the week off. But I said it would be helpful to me to have either a 20-30 minute phone session OR a whole extra session next week. I briefly explained my thinking on this and said that it didn't need to be this week. I also asked her to call and leave me a voice mail about whether or not she would agree to that.
So do I sound like a total whiny b*tch? Do you think she'll do it?
<Sigh>
Posted by peddidle on April 18, 2007, at 19:10:29
In reply to My T canceled this week, posted by TherapyGirl on April 18, 2007, at 18:46:30
I can understand how difficult this must be for you. I had a slightly similar experience last month. It was the first week back after spring break, and I woke up to find two emails from my T. The first said that she had to cancel because her son was sick (she has very young kids), but to email her if I needed anything, or if I wanted to meet before our next session. The second one said that her mom was going to be able to stay with her him, so we could still meet that day.
I certainly understood that she needed to stay home with her son, and I appreciated that she told me to let her no if I needed anything, and that she offerred to meet before my next regular session. I did get that feeling though... maybe a little bit of jealousy?... like I'm work and she'd rather be somewhere else. I know that's not true, though, it's just my own issue. She's told me she cares about me, she's mentioned times that she's thought about me between sessions, etc., and I believe her.
I'm sure your T cares about you, too. I think it was good to leave her that voicemail-- you need her now, and there's nothing wrong with that. You do NOT sound like a total whiny b*tch.
I don't know your T, so I don't know if she'll feel up to a short phone session, but I can't imagine she wouldn't be willing to give you an extra session once she's back at work. I know you want her to take care of herself. It wouldn't be good for either of you if she came back before she was ready-- her mind would be elsewhere and she wouldn't be able to focus on you.
I hope you hear back from your T soo.
Take care!
Posted by TherapyGirl on April 18, 2007, at 19:39:15
In reply to Re: My T canceled this week » TherapyGirl, posted by peddidle on April 18, 2007, at 19:10:29
Thanks, Pediddle.
I think she'll do it if she can, but she's semi-retired now (ask me how much I hate that term), so her schedule is pretty full.
I'll let you know if/when I hear from her. I appreciate the support.
Posted by zenhussy on April 18, 2007, at 20:10:39
In reply to My T canceled this week, posted by TherapyGirl on April 18, 2007, at 18:46:30
you're not whiny and hope she is able to make time to do phone check ins.
therapist canceled appt this week as well on day of appt. that was shock but is life. <<---zh attempt to "all is well" gloss over how much it really stinks ;) however grain of truth in the zen of life of what is is.
you're looking out for your needs. it is nice to be sympathetic and kind but ultimately doesn't help you when your needs aren't being met.
hope you get extra session in addition to phone check in. you never know and you might get both! good for you for leaving msg for her.
kindly,
zh
Posted by TherapyGirl on April 18, 2007, at 20:13:02
In reply to Re: My T canceled this week--you're not whiny!! » TherapyGirl, posted by zenhussy on April 18, 2007, at 20:10:39
Thanks, Zen. I'm trying to find my zen of life. LOL
Posted by sunnydays on April 18, 2007, at 21:14:16
In reply to My T canceled this week, posted by TherapyGirl on April 18, 2007, at 18:46:30
((((((((TherapyGirl)))))))))
No idea if she'll do it or not since I don't know her. But I don't think you sound like a whiny b*tch. I also want to say welcome to the club - my T canceled today as well because he has strep throat. And he was just out for five weeks because of an injury and has only been back a week, so it was really hard. I called him once, and I'm thinking of leaving him another message.
Why does it have to be so hard?
sunnydays
Posted by TherapyGirl on April 18, 2007, at 23:06:52
In reply to Re: My T canceled this week » TherapyGirl, posted by sunnydays on April 18, 2007, at 21:14:16
I wish it *wasn't* so hard.
I'm sorry your T is sick so soon after getting back from the back injury. Is he stressed out by any chance? Because those are two things that usually happen to me when I'm stressed. I hope he gets all the way better soon. It's hard to maintain the -- I don't know what -- the connection? when therapy starts and stops and starts and stops. At least it is for me.
((((((SunnyDays)))))))
Posted by TherapyGirl on April 19, 2007, at 17:43:43
In reply to My T canceled this week, posted by TherapyGirl on April 18, 2007, at 18:46:30
She didn't call today. I'm not really surprised, but I *am* disapointed.
Only got 3.5 hours of sleep last night. I hate that it has this effect on me.
This is the end of the thread.
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