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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by Wittgenstein on April 3, 2007, at 19:52:57
Hi Everyone,
I've been browsing the boards for the last two weeks and have finally plucked up the courage/energy to join.
I'm from England and was in my final year at university until I took an overdose a few week's ago, in an attempt to end it all. Anyway, I've been diagnosed with severe depression and severe long standing social phobia (which explains a lot of the problems I have been having for years). I'm now taking a course of Citalopram (40mg) with the occasional Lorazepam. Since my home situation is very difficult (at uni I was living away from home) and my boyfriend lives in the Netherlands (yes it's complicated!) I have taken 'asylum' with him for the foreseeable future - after coming back home from uni, I did hold out with my parents for a week or so but being there made me feel extremely suicidal.
At the moment it feels like everything has stopped - just trying to get through each day as it comes - sleeping most of the time if I can. The idea of getting help here - psychotherapy (which was recommended by my 'pdoc' in England) is daunting because of the language and cultural differences - it will probably work out ok but I'm so nervous about entering a whole new system.
I had my first appt. today with the mental health service - they were very nice (although I hardly remember any of it thanks to the lorazepam!) - I know they are making another appointment for this week or early next but when I asked about therapy the psychologist said something like "well first you have to be 'stabilised' and then we will see what treatment is best". To be honest I didn't really understand what she meant - is this normal or perhaps just a misunderstanding in terms of language?
Does anyone have any experience like this (i.e. getting help in a foreign country)? If not, if there's anyone out there who, like me, is just coming to terms with a diagnosis and treatment prospects or is in the 'pre-treatment survival limbo', I'd love to hear your stories/thoughts - or those who are further down the line and might be able to share some insight into what's ahead.
I'm basically really scared right now - feels like my whole world has collapsed around me.
Hope you don't mind me posting this here as well as on the newbie forum.
Best wishes to all of you,
Wittgenstein
Posted by gazo on April 3, 2007, at 20:14:44
In reply to New and looking for support :), posted by Wittgenstein on April 3, 2007, at 19:52:57
Hi and welcome :o)
i am one of those who are further down the line... 10yrs dx'd bipolar II. i am sorry you have been through such hard times.
The comment made to you about getting stable and then seeing which treatment to use... it would be likely that they would want to get your med situation worked out well first and foremost. There are a vast number of different types of therapies out there. It sounds like a positive to me as it sounds like they will be considering your individual situation.
i do hope they will be seeing you fairly often until the meds are stable.
people here are very supportive. i'm sure between all of us you'll find quite a lot of information
Posted by DisTraught on April 4, 2007, at 1:08:53
In reply to New and looking for support :), posted by Wittgenstein on April 3, 2007, at 19:52:57
Dear Wittgenstein,
Welcome!
The psychologist took a stance when he/she said you need to be stabilised first. We can't think or speak when we've just been through or are in the midst of a severe depression. So pdoc's and T's sometimes want people to have been on meds for a few months before it's even worth attempting therapy. We're simply too vulnerable, in many T's eyes, and too crippled.
The Netherlands has a plethora of psychologists who speak excellent English, so don't worry about it. Besides, most of their training was through English books:)Penny
Posted by Wittgenstein on April 4, 2007, at 2:44:43
In reply to Re: New and looking for support :), posted by DisTraught on April 4, 2007, at 1:08:53
Thanks for the reassurance - my big fear is that they won't take me seriously.
I know the Dutch have great English skills - it's more about the subtle things. In England we tend to under-exaggerate things e.g. if someone says 'I feel quite bad' it probably should be translated as 'I feel bloody awful' - whereas a Dutch person would probably just be direct and say that they 'feel bloody awful'. People are just more direct about their feelings/problems - which is a good thing and something I like but something that takes getting used to - especially if you're just not used to expressing feelings/what you think.
Actually, I should be relieved I've been taken seriously here. In England (now for my moan!!) I was finding it very hard to get any help at all. After the overdose (I overdosed on ADs in the first place, which I had been taking for just a few days - had just started on them). Anyway, after the OD, I went back to my hometown, to my parents - I went to the local doctors who basically said "come see me again in 2 weeks" - didn't prescribe anything - didn't refer - didn't even think I was worthy of seeing their counsellor (too busy apparently). It was only after I got another appointment with another doctor there and ended up trembling uncontrollably and in floods of tears that he agreed to refer me to a private psychiatrist for an assessment - he said it wasn't worth referring me to a public psych as I'd have to wait some months before being seen and I wasn't 'serious' enough anyway - he didn't make a re-appointment with me (even though the psych meeting was 2 weeks later) and suggested I phone Samaritans if it got real bad (I'd already phone them the night before). Well £270 later the psychiatrist had taken me seriously, which I am very grateful for. It's just been such an ordeal - I hope no-one else has had such problems in being heard - maybe it's just how this health system works or because of my home region. I don't know.
Anyway, thanks for your help :)
Wittgenstein
Posted by Wittgenstein on April 4, 2007, at 2:55:10
In reply to Re: New and looking for support :), posted by Wittgenstein on April 4, 2007, at 2:44:43
I should say that I was in hospital after the OD (against my wishes) and was seen there by the psych who said he was making an emergency referral but discharged me the following day. Nothing ever materialised from the referral as far as I know, but maybe that was because I went back to my home town a few days later. That said the ambulance and A&E staff were very kind.
Ok, I won't blabber on about my grievances any longer .. just needed to moan!! :)
Posted by gazo on April 4, 2007, at 7:44:01
In reply to Re: New and looking for support :), posted by Wittgenstein on April 4, 2007, at 2:55:10
i know others in ENgland and they say that the mental health system is very frustrating. For some reason they can't get taken seriously either... so it's not just you. Unfortunately, mental health is often underfunded everywhere.
Did either of the pdocs/docs give you any sort of dx?
One thing i can suggest, thanks to the folks here prodding me about talking to my T, is that if you are aware that you undrstate things then you will need to make your caregivers aware of that and you have to try not to do it. Try your best to say how you feel if you can.
Posted by Dinah on April 4, 2007, at 8:32:19
In reply to Re: New and looking for support :), posted by Wittgenstein on April 4, 2007, at 2:55:10
It sounds as if they're taking you seriously here, so maybe it won't be a problem. Stabilizing on medicatoins probably isn't a bad idea. Without having some way to get anxiety and depression under control it's hard to concentrate on therapy skills.
I think it's fair to tell your new therapist of your concerns when you get one. If they are aware of the cultural difference they can reassure you, and if not you've given them something to consider. It can be framed as your concern, and shouldn't give offense that way.
Welcome to Babble. :)
Posted by Wittgenstein on April 4, 2007, at 8:39:18
In reply to Re: New and looking for support :) » Wittgenstein, posted by gazo on April 4, 2007, at 7:44:01
Hi Gazo,
It is frustrating in England - and if this is how it is in a lot of countries, it's a sad situation for those who really need help.
Incidentally, I am registered disabled (I have been 'legally blind' since birth) and have had treatment for this for years to stop me losing more sight - the 'pain' and 'debilitation' of the eye condition is absolutely nothing by comparison to the pain of mental illness.
Hope you don't mind me asking - are you from this side of the pond or from elsewhere? I'd assumed most people on here are from the States.
The Pdoc in my home town in England was very concerned and really wanted to help - he diagnosed severe depression and severe long standing social phobia (although I only saw him for 1 hour and know that dx's are not an absolute entity) - he is a 30 year specialist in anxiety though. He recommended I go to Holland for further treatment because of the situation with my parents - he put all this in writing which helped me to get away - and I feel much safer here as my bf is a big support - I guess my home situation would be described as 'abusive' although I find it hard acknowledge that (my bf has witnessed some of the things that have happened either while he was there or at the other end of the phone). The Pdoc wrote up a report for me to take with me to Holland to pass on to the medical professionals there, which has helped things along.
In Holland I've seen the local doctor - also the psychiatric nurse who got me an emergency referral to the mental health service - and I saw a psychologist there yesterday, who is now sorting out that I can get a further appointment there so that I get 'stabilised'. I might also arrange to be seen privately but the Ts recommended by the psychiatric nurse have a 2 month waiting list - by the sounds of it that might be a good time length if I get help in the mean time.
Sorry that was a bit long-winded. Can I ask if you have a dx? I will work on being more direct/open - I find it easier in writing than when it comes to sitting in a room with someone.
Libby
Posted by Wittgenstein on April 4, 2007, at 8:55:00
In reply to Re: New and looking for support :), posted by Wittgenstein on April 4, 2007, at 8:39:18
Re. qu about dx: I realise now you already said you were diagnosed with BP II.
Posted by Wittgenstein on April 4, 2007, at 9:12:10
In reply to Re: New and looking for support :) » Wittgenstein, posted by Dinah on April 4, 2007, at 8:32:19
Hi Dinah,
Thanks for the advice. I guess opening up to someone and being direct about your feelings is just part of the therapy process - something I'll have to get used to, when it all begins.
The other day my bf's mother phoned to see how I was (of course being Dutch the WHOLE family knows all the intricacies of what has happened to me the last weeks) - she only speaks Dutch (my Dutch is OK) - anyway at one point, after having asked half a dozen direct questions about me, she mentioned she was having physiotherapy - even before I asked what was wrong, she started talking about what I first translated as 'strawberries' (hmm I thought - this is random!!) - only for me to realise a sentence or two later she was going into intricate details about her haemorrhoids and how they had prevented her from sitting down properly for 2 weeks... this is what I mean by being direct (don't want to imagine what kind of physiotherapy would remedy this problem)!! In some ways it's very refreshing - but a bit of a culture shock.
Hope none of you were **trying** to eat while reading this!!!!
Libby
Posted by Wittgenstein on April 4, 2007, at 9:13:34
In reply to Re: New and looking for support :), posted by DisTraught on April 4, 2007, at 1:08:53
Thanks Penny,
This makes a lot of sense - and has stopped me nagging about it so much.Libby
This is the end of the thread.
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