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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dis Traught on February 5, 2007, at 13:23:03
Something that has baffled me on this site is the amount of time people appear to be spending in therapy. In my country, more than 2 yrs is almost unheard of, and if you stay in therapy for 2 yrs you are considered to have very, very serious difficulties. Here it's more like: get to the point, identify the problem, deal with it and then get on with it. Maybe that's too rational? What are the benefits of long-term therapy?
Anyway, one thing is for certain: People here don't form deep, long-standing one-sided relationships with their therapists.Penny
Posted by muffled on February 5, 2007, at 14:20:30
In reply to Why long-term therapy?, posted by Dis Traught on February 5, 2007, at 13:23:03
> Something that has baffled me on this site is the amount of time people appear to be spending in therapy. In my country, more than 2 yrs is almost unheard of, and if you stay in therapy for 2 yrs you are considered to have very, very serious difficulties. Here it's more like: get to the point, identify the problem, deal with it and then get on with it. Maybe that's too rational? What are the benefits of long-term therapy?
> Anyway, one thing is for certain: People here don't form deep, long-standing one-sided relationships with their therapists.
>
> Penny**What a good thread to start!
I have been to T for mebbe a little over 2 yrs? off and on. It took me over a yera to even consider the possibility of even thinking it was possible to trust this T person with my thots.....
I wonder if longer term therapy is useful for those who don't trust easily and have to be able to learen that trust is even possible.
I found it very hard to get past a certain wall when talking to others....had a hard time interacting meaningfully with others.
I am learning this thru T.
I am also so mixed up, and can't talk well, so its taking me a long time to figger stuff out.
Also for first many many months of T I completely dissociated and couldn't even remember sessions....
I don't consider myself as being terribly ill, but I want to do better. I am functioning(not all that well), and I am surviving, but I struggle, and I used to be so risk taking. And now I am not.
So I dunno.
Hopefully I would not continue T too much longer....
I want to develop IRL friendships where we can share our lives. T is so one sided.
I will get there.
But....
it seems to take time????
Muffled
Posted by muffled on February 5, 2007, at 14:25:48
In reply to Re: Why long-term therapy?, posted by muffled on February 5, 2007, at 14:20:30
BTW, are you new? If so nice to meet you and welcome to babble!
Muffled
Posted by Dis Traught on February 5, 2007, at 15:16:26
In reply to Re: Why long-term therapy?, posted by muffled on February 5, 2007, at 14:20:30
I too, have a hard time trusting people. I guess my T realised that I was resisting, so during our 3rd session he simply said that he thought we were through, I didn't need any more, which of course made me quite frantic (and hurt) and in dire need of trusting him:)
Penny
Posted by sunnydays on February 5, 2007, at 16:22:52
In reply to Why long-term therapy?, posted by Dis Traught on February 5, 2007, at 13:23:03
Here it's more like: get to the point, identify the problem, deal with it and then get on with it. Maybe that's too rational? What are the benefits of long-term therapy?
**** Well, I couldn't talk in therapy for the first six months, so I needed just that long to even really start to trust my T. It's hard to get to the point and identify the problem when you're so scared of a relationship you can't open up and trust your T. I mean, I guess I do have serious problems, but that's because I'm dealing with a lot of trauma and abuse. My T says that it really takes that long to really get through it. I worry about taking too long, and he says that it's really quite normal for people with a history of trauma to stay in therapy this long.
> Anyway, one thing is for certain: People here don't form deep, long-standing one-sided relationships with their therapists.
**** Well, see, it's not exactly one-sided for me. I know he cares about me. Granted, it's different than how I care about him, because he sees many clients throughout the day and probably cares for many of them, but it's real what we both feel all the same. I think it has been enormously beneficial for me to learn how to trust someone and that it's ok to trust. That's been the best thing for me. It's really allowed me to expand my social network.
sunnydays
Posted by sunnydays on February 5, 2007, at 16:24:49
In reply to Re: Why long-term therapy?((muffled((, posted by Dis Traught on February 5, 2007, at 15:16:26
> I too, have a hard time trusting people. I guess my T realised that I was resisting, so during our 3rd session he simply said that he thought we were through, I didn't need any more, which of course made me quite frantic (and hurt) and in dire need of trusting him:)
>
> Penny
***** See, that would have scared me so so much, that I would have agreed with him and climbed back in my hole and never tried to trust anyone for a long long time. I needed someone to be patient and do it at my pace, because if he had tried to rush me I would have shut down and quit.sunnydays
Posted by muffled on February 5, 2007, at 18:04:18
In reply to Re: Why long-term therapy?((muffled((, posted by Dis Traught on February 5, 2007, at 15:16:26
> I too, have a hard time trusting people. I guess my T realised that I was resisting, so during our 3rd session he simply said that he thought we were through, I didn't need any more, which of course made me quite frantic (and hurt) and in dire need of trusting him:)
>
> Penny**Aaaaacckkk!
That would have set me back.
What did you do/say?
I used to mostly live in terror that my T would dump me cuz she thot me too bad.......
I am over that FINALLY. But it took me almost 2 yrs......
Mebbe I just slow?
But at least I am alive. My kids got a Mom.
T is hard. Long term T is harder yet. Yeah, it is hard and confusing, but i dunno a better way...
Muffled
Posted by muffled on February 5, 2007, at 18:07:00
In reply to Re: Why long-term therapy?((muffled(( » Dis Traught, posted by muffled on February 5, 2007, at 18:04:18
but insteada going on holidays, I goto T !
Its a choice.
Or mebbe not a choice really.
Cuz I don't want to hurt my kids.
I don't want to die.
So mebbe I don't really have a choice....
Posted by allisonf on February 6, 2007, at 8:10:47
In reply to AND it adds up financially....., posted by muffled on February 5, 2007, at 18:07:00
It does add up financially! I often think of how I am contributing to my T's kid's college funds!
But that notwithstanding, I continue to go. I have been in therapy for 5 and 1/2 years. Wonder sometimes when it's going to end. But like you muffled, I still have suicidal thoughts and it seems like because of that I should still go. My T says that oftentimes people with bipolar disorder go to therapy for long stretches of time just to have someone there to help manage the day to day aspects of the illness. I think she helps me do that well.
Posted by frida on February 6, 2007, at 9:59:16
In reply to Why long-term therapy?, posted by Dis Traught on February 5, 2007, at 13:23:03
Hi..
I've been in T for around 7 years with some breaks in between...
I don't feel our relationship is one-sided, I am certain she does care about me and she tells me so..if she had given up on me before I would have shut down and never trust anyone again.
I have abuse issues and it took me a long, long time to even start considering telling her. (a year to let her know, and more than a year to be able to talk a little more, and even to this day I've tested her thousand times and I have difficulties. I trust her as much as I can trust someone, and we have a wonderful connection but I still have trouble facing things and talking and stop "hiding".
I tell myself that I was abused for +10 years and then lived hiding and not really living- how could I make this right in a short time? When I've learnt all my life not to trust others and to give up...
She is helping me repair all that and I guess it takes time. She feels frustrated sometimes when I don't talk, but I need to keep trying and she is there for me.I feel grateful to have found her and have this deep relationship. She has given me so much and proved to me that she does feel real feelings for me. I value this relationship so much.
I guess it depends on what you need, and the T you find...
Frida
Posted by pegasus on February 6, 2007, at 10:41:14
In reply to Why long-term therapy?, posted by Dis Traught on February 5, 2007, at 13:23:03
I've been in therapy for a few years now, and it has totally changed my life. I'm not really terribly mentally ill, but I have my challenges that have made my life limited and cramped and full of anxiety. Through therapy over the years I've been able to develop skills and attitudes that have helped me see my life as so much more free and wonderful than I'd been able to see it before. I know 100% that I couldn't have accomplished that without therapy. It takes going over and over and OVER things, and having someone to process my mistakes and progress with.
So, I suppose you could say that it's not necessary in terms of having me be a functioning person. But it's been *wonderful* and I'm so glad I've done it. My life has blossomed, when I could have stayed curled up tight.
peg
Posted by Dinah on February 6, 2007, at 14:20:59
In reply to Re: Why long-term therapy?, posted by pegasus on February 6, 2007, at 10:41:14
I didn't even *start* doing therapy for five years. The first five years were just a constant struggle to connect and trust. Testing, anger...
This is the end of the thread.
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