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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by jammerlich on October 3, 2006, at 10:13:26
And I'm still in bed. I haven't showered, washed my face, or brushed my hair or teeth. It all feels too hard. I don't want to go.
I've never canceled this late before or just not shown up. I wonder how bad it would be and what would happen if I did?
Posted by pegasus on October 3, 2006, at 12:05:19
In reply to I have T in less than an hour, posted by jammerlich on October 3, 2006, at 10:13:26
Did you go? I hope you did manage to. But I understand how sometimes it's just a *lot* to manage.
(((jammerlich)))
p
Posted by jammerlich on October 3, 2006, at 23:14:13
In reply to Re: I have T in less than an hour, posted by pegasus on October 3, 2006, at 12:05:19
I did manage to get myself there and it was emotional....just what I didn't want it to be. That makes it feel like I'm getting closer to her and I DO NOT want to be close to her. I'm even starting to think I might want her to hug me. Wanting that makes me angry with myself (I need to suck it up and be strong)...and afraid. When I saw her before, she hugged and now I'm not sure if I'm afraid she'd still hug me or if I'm afraid that something's changed and now she wouldn't.
Why can't they just tell you exactly what you need to do and send you on your way? I'm sick to death of this relationship BS.
Posted by muffled on October 4, 2006, at 6:34:34
In reply to Re: I have T in less than an hour » pegasus, posted by jammerlich on October 3, 2006, at 23:14:13
> I did manage to get myself there and it was emotional....just what I didn't want it to be. That makes it feel like I'm getting closer to her and I DO NOT want to be close to her. I'm even starting to think I might want her to hug me. Wanting that makes me angry with myself (I need to suck it up and be strong)...and afraid. When I saw her before, she hugged and now I'm not sure if I'm afraid she'd still hug me or if I'm afraid that something's changed and now she wouldn't.
***this T stuff is crazymaking isn't it? its such a weird thing.Mebbe its best to get this whole hug business in the open so it doesn't haunt you. Right now I'm ok w/therapy. We doing ok right now. But I been where you are now. And who knows, I could fly back there at the slightest provocation. Or even the slightest perception that there was a provocation....sigh.
Glad you made it there.
This trust stuff seems to take time...
>
> Why can't they just tell you exactly what you need to do and send you on your way? I'm sick to death of this relationship BS.***yeah, the R-word (relation^%$#)
Hate it.
But it has been the case w/me, that I had to be able to have some trust w/my T, b4 I could be more open w/her, and then be able to do good work.
It has paid off for me. I am undoubtedly doing better.
Hope it gets better for you soon.
Take care Jost,
Muffled
Posted by TherapyGirl on October 4, 2006, at 7:05:09
In reply to Re: I have T in less than an hour » pegasus, posted by jammerlich on October 3, 2006, at 23:14:13
First of all, I want to apologize for not responding to your first post. I tried to read it yesterday morning and it wouldn't come up. Unfortunately, by the time I got back online a few hours later, it no longer showed up as "new" and I just missed it. So I'm sorry about that.
Second, I completely understand about being sick of the relationship BS. It's so hard, isn't it? And many times, for me at least, it hardly seems worth all the drama. But most of the time I realize that working this stuff through in my relationship with my T helps me to implement changes in my other relationships.
Sorry it's so hard right now.
Posted by wishingstar on October 4, 2006, at 12:33:41
In reply to Re: I have T in less than an hour » pegasus, posted by jammerlich on October 3, 2006, at 23:14:13
Hi jammerlick, I dont think I've ever posted to you before... but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry things are so hard right now. I can really relate to the frustration with the relationship piece of therapy. Sometimes it seems like it can bring an entire new set of issues.. like we needed any more to deal with! But I also am not sure therapy would "work" without the relationship factor, at least not for me. But it's so, so hard.
I also understand the need to suck it up and be strong. I wish I had advice or wisdom about that, but I'm stuck there too. I just want you to know I understand. You're definitely not alone. Hang in there.
Posted by jammerlich on October 4, 2006, at 22:57:07
In reply to Re: I have T in less than an hour » jammerlich, posted by muffled on October 4, 2006, at 6:34:34
Muffled, you are SO right about feeling like you have to trust and actually allow the relationship in order to do the work. I do see that that is how it works and it scares me to death. My T has been very helpful with some very practical and concrete things that have been going on in my life lately. But, those things have sort of settled down now. So, I feel like I'm at a fork in the road. I have to decide between trusting her and diving into the crummy childhood stuff or just quitting all together. It's a decision I'm having a very difficult time with.
Posted by jammerlich on October 4, 2006, at 23:03:20
In reply to Re: I have T in less than an hour » jammerlich, posted by TherapyGirl on October 4, 2006, at 7:05:09
TG, no need to apologize. Your message is just as supportive and helpful now as it would have been if I'd gotten it 5 seconds after my original post!
I DO really sometimes wonder whether this relationship is worth all the drama. Why suffer so much pain for a relationship with so many limitations? That's such a hard one for me. And I'm getting frustrated because as I try to implement the things I'm learning in T in my other relationships, I'm finding people aren't nearly as open to it as I would like. There's a lot of resistance and it makes people uncomfortable. Grrrrrr!!!
Posted by jammerlich on October 4, 2006, at 23:09:36
In reply to Re: I have T in less than an hour, posted by wishingstar on October 4, 2006, at 12:33:41
Thank you for posting to me. I'm glad you did and I appreciate your words of support.
Be looking for a babblemail from me about your situation with Anne. The T I'm seeing terminated me at one point and wouldn't let me come in for a closure sort of session. So, I have lots of thoughts about what you're going through. It's so painful to not feel heard, isn't it? Sometimes it feels so important just to be able to tell somone how you feel even when you know it won't change anything about the situation.
Coincidentally, I also ran into this T after she terminated me.....at a Panera restaurant!
Posted by wishingstar on October 5, 2006, at 15:43:59
In reply to Re: I have T in less than an hour » wishingstar, posted by jammerlich on October 4, 2006, at 23:09:36
How strange! At Panera even. Her name isnt Anne, is it? How strange would that be if we had the same ex-T? I'm sure we dont. I'm sorry to hear youve experienced this too... but it helps to know that I'm not the only person who has been through this, and you survived it. I'll be looking for that babblemail.
Hang in there.
This is the end of the thread.
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