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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by muffled on September 13, 2006, at 7:45:02
Got kinda pleased, and overextended myself in my happiness.
Now I scared and wanto retreat. Run, run, run and hide.
When I get happy and content and not on guard....thats when I not ready and prepared, and thats when I get slammed.
Waiting...................................for the axe to fall.............................waiting................................. for the hit.
Protection is on tenterhooks, but well behaved (well thats good).
Actually I had a calm good time w/my kids yesterday. Things DID go smoothly. I felt calm and competant, until the fear and doubt arrived.
I try to hope for more from people, cuz I go and think I worthy or something, and then I do something stupid, cuz I don't know the rules.
I never learned the rules of interaction.
So I f*ck up. And feel so damn stupid.
But this will pass.
I goto know this.
Gods watching out for me.
I goto trust.
My family cares bout me.
This I know.
T. don't think I a shitpile
I've learned that.
Goto NOT listen to the lies.
And remember good stuff.
Like the fact I recognizing 'stuff' AT ALL.
Couldn't do THAT b4.
Really, I AM doing way better.
Yea, way better.
Just goto get used to it is all......
Posted by alexandra_k on September 13, 2006, at 8:57:57
In reply to Getting scared but ok :-), posted by muffled on September 13, 2006, at 7:45:02
hey :-)
> When I get happy and content and not on guard....thats when I not ready and prepared, and thats when I get slammed.
yeah. i know that feeling well. it can be for a variety of things...
sometimes it is about us not thinking that we deserve to be happy so we start beating ourselves up and fall back into that pit of despair.
sometimes it is about... damned physiology, i reckon. the happy good neurotransmitters run out so its back to feeling not happy good for a while while the supply gets replenished... or something. this is probably just my crazy thinking... thats partly why i think its kinda good to moderate / reign in (though not fight) happy good feelings. because... it might make the happy good feelings last longer... but then i used to think that if i learned anything new then something i really needed to remember would fall out so who knows what f*cked up views i have about the brain / mind in general...> Actually I had a calm good time w/my kids yesterday. Things DID go smoothly. I felt calm and competant, until the fear and doubt arrived.
> I try to hope for more from people, cuz I go and think I worthy or something, and then I do something stupid, cuz I don't know the rules.sounds like you started beating yourself up...
> I never learned the rules of interaction.
> So I f*ck up. And feel so damn stupid.((((muffled)))) everyone f*cks up sometimes. and... sometimes we judge our own f*ck ups very harshly indeed and really... other people tend to remember their own and feel sympathetic not judgemental. sometimes we can be our own worst critic...
> But this will pass.
> I goto know this.yeah muffled :-)
you will get back to feeling happy good.
:-)> T. don't think I a shitpile
> I've learned that.and even if he did he would be wrong :-p
> Goto NOT listen to the lies.
> And remember good stuff.when i get those negative thoughts / feelings / voices i try and remember things like:
-doing something nice for someone
-how i want to be a good person
-friends that like me
stuff like that. instead of trying to fight the voices / thoughts / feelings directly (which sometimes intensifies them and makes them worse) i kinda acknowledge that i'm thinking unhelpful thoughts / that i'm not feeling so good or that i'm feeling fragile etc and gently direct my attention onto positive things. of course... easier said than done, i understand that.yeah you ARE doing way better :-)
sometimes progress is four steps forward and two steps back and sometimes one step forward and two steps back even. but over the long haul... it is progress indeed :-) i just mean that... i guess things will always be hard at times. but that the hard times will come to be less intense and further apart. well... thats one theory (that i choose to believe) anyway :-)
you are doing great.
Posted by happyflower on September 13, 2006, at 10:56:33
In reply to Re: Getting scared but ok :-) » muffled, posted by alexandra_k on September 13, 2006, at 8:57:57
Hey muffled, try to enjoy happiness okay. It is okay to feel good. ;-)
Posted by ElaineM on September 13, 2006, at 17:07:38
In reply to Getting scared but ok :-), posted by muffled on September 13, 2006, at 7:45:02
Hey Muff: I'm glad you're able to see that you've improved. I know it's pretty hard sometimes not to be distrustful of happiness. I struggle with that all the time. So now, I'm working on taking moments for what they are, and try to not worry about the next. But it's hard isn't it. Guess it takes practise :)
Nice to hear you had some calmness.
i care about you, ya know.
blove EL
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