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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by muffled on September 5, 2006, at 22:55:29
So lately I've discovered a new scar free, blood free, way to SI.
I don't smoke, it makes me sick.
So I smoke a bunch of inhales, till my eyes get cloudy.
Then I get spinny and nautious.
Then I puke.
So its good cuz it hurts me, and it gets rid of excess food as well.
Two for one.
I dunno if smoking can damage yur eyes though? Cuz t gets all cloudy looking.
I only do this sometimes.
Better than drinking.
I been dry 10 plus years.
I CANNOT drink. I MUST not drink.
So am I as stupid as they come or what?
I think its better than scars.
Muffled
Posted by llrrrpp on September 6, 2006, at 22:03:03
In reply to twisted but mebbe a better way to SI**TRIGGer**, posted by muffled on September 5, 2006, at 22:55:29
Hi muffled,
sounds pretty unpleasant. Eventually all that puking will eat away at your tooth enamal, make you hoarse and make you feel sick.Doesn't it give you a headache?
I think those are scars too.
I think there are better ways to cope. How about coming and hanging out with me in your cave sometime? or babblechatting, or picking lint off of the carpeting. I went to the beach today, and walked a quarter mile, searching for beach glass. It was all-consuming. I found about 10 pieces. 3 of them are really beautiful.
beach glass used to be broken and sharp, and trashed. Now it's beautiful, worn, translucent and precious. Sometimes it just takes time, friction and tumbling around.
-ll
Posted by muffled on September 7, 2006, at 0:00:22
In reply to Re: twisted but mebbe a better way to SI**TRIGGer » muffled, posted by llrrrpp on September 6, 2006, at 22:03:03
> Hi muffled,
> sounds pretty unpleasant. Eventually all that puking will eat away at your tooth enamal, make you hoarse and make you feel sick.**true
>
> Doesn't it give you a headache?**nope, just sick and yucky
>
> I think those are scars too.**ya but easy to hide
>
> I think there are better ways to cope. How about coming and hanging out with me in your cave sometime? or babblechatting, or picking lint off of the carpeting. I went to the beach today, and walked a quarter mile, searching for beach glass. It was all-consuming. I found about 10 pieces. 3 of them are really beautiful.***Toatally. Better ways to cope. My T says I goto look at bigger picture insteada just freaking in the moment. I have been doing alotta distractions, but I fairly majorly stressed.....
>
> beach glass used to be broken and sharp, and trashed. Now it's beautiful, worn, translucent and precious. Sometimes it just takes time, friction and tumbling around.***I love your writing LL. but me and my gutter mind....
"Sometimes it just takes time, friction and tumbling around...." reminds me of when my hubby can't get it up!!!!!!LOL!!! :-)
Thanks LL, your the greatest.
Muffled
Posted by llrrrpp on September 7, 2006, at 8:58:11
In reply to Re: twisted but mebbe a better way to SI**TRIGGer » llrrrpp, posted by muffled on September 7, 2006, at 0:00:22
you crack me up muffled!!
time friction and tumbling around. Don't you HATE that?!?! The worst is when I sincerely mean to communicate: "it's fine, I'm tired, I didn't even really feel like it anyways!" This seems to make him even more determined. Where's the romance?LoL!
************
Your T says to consider the
Big picture. how are you going to do that? can you rehearse some mental script? likeMy name is muffled, I have a family, and people who love me and care about me. I have owned this body since I was a wee child. I will live in this body until the end of my time. I need this body to do things like play with my family, get me to the store, and get me to my T appts. I will need this body to take care of my mind and help me heal. I will save this body for the days when I feel better, and together we will do nice things for me.
I love my X (eyes? smile? hair? shoulders? height? cheekbones? cute little mole? skin color? eyelashes? [whatever, you fill in the blank], and if I hurt myself, then I hurt my parts that I love too. This body is shared between my younger parts, and my older parts, my childlike parts, and my world-weary parts, my innocent parts, and my angry parts. I can find better ways of communicating my emotions of the moment by using words on a paper, rather than scars on my flesh. Scars on my flesh will only scare the child, the innocents, and it's not fair to them. If I use words, I can maybe help the child and the innocents understand my darker parts, and my fears. If I use words, I can express myself, rather than numb myself. If I use words I can get it out, rather than keep it in. If I use words I can let go, rather than clench.
I found that writing on myself helps. I can take a marker or pen and write words on my arm, or wherever. I can draw a tattoo. I can do all of these things, and then the day after I can hope to send it away with some soap and water, but not before reading, and trying to understand.
I can also use writing to prevent my attacks on my favorite exposed parts. right now I have a "C" on my left inner arm. This reminds me of a dear friend, and is a symbol for a promise to keep myself safe.
Muffled, I don't know how to advise you, I'm not so experienced with the SI thing. All I know is that it's a coping mechanism. I have a different one for fear, and a different one for anxiety/boredom. The fear SI I haven't done in 2 months now, but the a/b one I do almost daily. I try to make it harder to do, but it's such a struggle.
(((((((((muffled))))))))))
-ll
Posted by Nansun on September 12, 2006, at 15:43:13
In reply to Re: twisted but mebbe a better way to SI**TRIGGer » muffled, posted by llrrrpp on September 7, 2006, at 8:58:11
> you crack me up muffled!!
>
> time friction and tumbling around. Don't you HATE that?!?! The worst is when I sincerely mean to communicate: "it's fine, I'm tired, I didn't even really feel like it anyways!" This seems to make him even more determined. Where's the romance?
>
> LoL!
> ************
> Your T says to consider the
> Big picture. how are you going to do that? can you rehearse some mental script? like
>
> My name is muffled, I have a family, and people who love me and care about me. I have owned this body since I was a wee child. I will live in this body until the end of my time. I need this body to do things like play with my family, get me to the store, and get me to my T appts. I will need this body to take care of my mind and help me heal. I will save this body for the days when I feel better, and together we will do nice things for me.
>
> I love my X (eyes? smile? hair? shoulders? height? cheekbones? cute little mole? skin color? eyelashes? [whatever, you fill in the blank], and if I hurt myself, then I hurt my parts that I love too. This body is shared between my younger parts, and my older parts, my childlike parts, and my world-weary parts, my innocent parts, and my angry parts. I can find better ways of communicating my emotions of the moment by using words on a paper, rather than scars on my flesh. Scars on my flesh will only scare the child, the innocents, and it's not fair to them. If I use words, I can maybe help the child and the innocents understand my darker parts, and my fears. If I use words, I can express myself, rather than numb myself. If I use words I can get it out, rather than keep it in. If I use words I can let go, rather than clench.
>
> I found that writing on myself helps. I can take a marker or pen and write words on my arm, or wherever. I can draw a tattoo. I can do all of these things, and then the day after I can hope to send it away with some soap and water, but not before reading, and trying to understand.
>
> I can also use writing to prevent my attacks on my favorite exposed parts. right now I have a "C" on my left inner arm. This reminds me of a dear friend, and is a symbol for a promise to keep myself safe.
>
> Muffled, I don't know how to advise you, I'm not so experienced with the SI thing. All I know is that it's a coping mechanism. I have a different one for fear, and a different one for anxiety/boredom. The fear SI I haven't done in 2 months now, but the a/b one I do almost daily. I try to make it harder to do, but it's such a struggle.
>
> (((((((((muffled))))))))))
>
> -ll
>
Hi llrrpp; I don't post often, but what you said touched me. I would like to make a copy for myself so I can read it when I need to. If you don't want me to I will not copy. Just know that your thoughts have moved me. Take care of yourself.
Posted by llrrrpp on September 12, 2006, at 16:04:33
In reply to Re: twisted but mebbe a better way to SI**TRIGGer » llrrrpp, posted by Nansun on September 12, 2006, at 15:43:13
Oh, sure Nansun,
please copy and use my words. They're on the www forever and ever, so they might as well be used, rather than just taking up a few bytes in some server somewhere. I'm glad I could help. And thank you so much for letting me know. That means a lot to me.see you around,
-ll
This is the end of the thread.
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