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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by happyflower on August 10, 2006, at 11:29:02
Since my session on Monday, I am just a heap of emotional mess right now. I thought I was okay with termination, I am better, right? I am not to sure I am ready.
Well it feels like my only friend in my life just told me that they are terminal and only have 6 months to live. :( How do you say goodbye to someone who means so much to you? Setting a final session is like planning a funeral. It is tearing me up inside, I can't stop crying. Why go through the termination process when the end result is the same? Why not just not show up anymore to my appointments?
I am sorry everyone that I haven't been supporting the recent posts, I just don't have the energy. I feel like just going in to my dark hole forever and staying there where noone can hurt me anymore. Why do people who mean so much to me leave me? I just don't want to try anymore, relationships always end up hurting me. How can I ever trust again? I am so sad right now.
My T is on vacation and isn't available by phone at all. I want to tell him how I feel, but I don't think he wants to hear it from me. Sorry for my depressing post.
Posted by inimitable on August 10, 2006, at 11:40:43
In reply to I am so sad :(, posted by happyflower on August 10, 2006, at 11:29:02
i only have a minute happyflower, but i saw your post and had to respond. it saddens to me to hear you sad! i don't really have much to say right now other than i know you can get through this painful moment in life, i understand a little of what you're going through cause my T (whom i've been infatuated with) recently started hinting about me not needing to see him anymore, and just the hinting was painful to hear. But you seem like a strong person, from what i've noticed, and i'm confident you will prevail. So my heart is with you, and good luck. Sorry if i sound like a dork, but i had to say at least that.
*inimitable
Posted by Dinah on August 10, 2006, at 13:52:51
In reply to I am so sad :(, posted by happyflower on August 10, 2006, at 11:29:02
(((((Happyflower))))
I'm so sad with you.
Posted by pegasus on August 10, 2006, at 14:23:12
In reply to I am so sad :(, posted by happyflower on August 10, 2006, at 11:29:02
Yes, very sad. Could it be that you're actually not read to terminate right now? I mean, in the termination models that I've read about, sometimes they say that it shouldn't happen until the client wants it. And often they suggest working on it for a long time, getting to a place where you still feel all those therapy warm fuzzies, and are *also* ok with letting go of the continuous contact.
It's hard to imagine for me, too, and I wonder whether that type of ending is just a fiction that therapists made up. But maybe not?
Take care of yourself through this. It is a really hard thing.
peg
Posted by LadyBug on August 10, 2006, at 14:49:16
In reply to I am so sad :(, posted by happyflower on August 10, 2006, at 11:29:02
(((((((Happyflower)))))))
Hi sadflower, I know you're sad and I can understand why. I'm not going to tell you that termination is the right thing or the wrong thing. But I do know that whenever it happens it's gotta hurt like hell.
It's so hard to have someone that seems so important in our lives but really isn't available to us in our real life?
I don't know what to offer you unless it's just to say that I'm sad for you. You are strong and I know you will do what's best for you. Are you thinking of changing your mind about termination?
Take care
LadyBug
Posted by Tamar on August 10, 2006, at 18:30:51
In reply to I am so sad :(, posted by happyflower on August 10, 2006, at 11:29:02
I’m sorry you’re so sad. It’s not easy to face termination. And being better doesn’t make it a breeze. Sure you’re not ready just now, but perhaps in a few months, after you’ve had a chance to get used to the idea, you might feel ready. And it doesn’t sound as if he’s going to kick you out the door, so you have time to adjust to the idea of life without therapy.
> I am sorry everyone that I haven't been supporting the recent posts, I just don't have the energy. I feel like just going in to my dark hole forever and staying there where noone can hurt me anymore.
(((((Happyflower))))) You don’t have to apologise. I’m glad you’re here. Just be who you are right now. That’s just fine.
> Why do people who mean so much to me leave me? I just don't want to try anymore, relationships always end up hurting me. How can I ever trust again? I am so sad right now.
Termination is undeniably painful. I don’t want to minimise it. But although it’s hard, it’s not impossible. You will get through it.
> My T is on vacation and isn't available by phone at all. I want to tell him how I feel, but I don't think he wants to hear it from me. Sorry for my depressing post.
No apologies are necessary. Hey, if depressing posts were banned it would be a pretty crappy mental health support community, eh?
I think it probably would be helpful to tell him how you feel when he gets back from his vacation. After all, he doesn’t actually want to abandon you. On the contrary, his purpose is to help you to feel well enough to live a contented life. He isn’t rejecting you. He’s helping you to determine a point at which you’ll be comfortable standing on your own two feet. His actions are motivated by his care for you, unlike other abandonments you might have experienced.
I don’t know if that’s any help at all. I know the prospect of the end is awful. I’ll be thinking of you.
Tamar
Posted by happyflower on August 14, 2006, at 10:40:04
In reply to Re: I am so sad :(, posted by inimitable on August 10, 2006, at 11:40:43
Nice to meet ya inimitable. :-) No you didn't sound like a dork to me, I am glad you wrote.
I guess I don't see my strength right now. I am feeling a little better today but at the same time I feel like I am missing him more than I normally do and I haven't terminated yet. He is on my mind more now, and I am very emotional about it this week. I hope I can prevail, it just really sucks the whole thing.
How long have you been seeing your T ? I see my T in one week, so I hope I can get through just these few days. I know he is back from vacation today, and I have the urge to call him to try to get in this week if he has any openings. But yet I hate being told no, I just don't know what to do. I just need to hear his voice or something. I wish I wasn't so pathetic.
Posted by happyflower on August 14, 2006, at 10:41:12
In reply to Re: I am so sad :(, posted by Dinah on August 10, 2006, at 13:52:51
> (((((Happyflower))))
>
> I'm so sad with you.Thanks Dinah for the hugs, I know you understand. I wish I could stay with my T for as long as you have with yours. :(
Posted by happyflower on August 14, 2006, at 10:44:26
In reply to Re: I am so sad :(, posted by pegasus on August 10, 2006, at 14:23:12
Hi Pegasus,
I am not sure if I am ready yet, I guess I want to be so bad, but yet maybe I am jumping the gun. My T promised me he would stay with as long as I need to, but our end goal would be for me not to need therapy sometime.
Maybe I am pushing to hard, I am not ready to set the final date, it feels so difficult. But at the same time I don't want my T to become really sick of me too. Thanks Peg for your support. I am just so confused.
Posted by happyflower on August 14, 2006, at 10:47:48
In reply to Re: I am so sad :(, posted by LadyBug on August 10, 2006, at 14:49:16
Hi Sweet ladybug,
Thanks for the understanding. ;-) I am having conflicting feelings about quiting but in a way I do want to quit therapy but yet not seeing my T is tearing me up inside. I thought I would feel better about this when the time would come for termination but I don't feel good at all. I just have this overwheming urge to call him, but I shouldn't I need to deal with this on my own. I just miss him so much today.
Posted by happyflower on August 14, 2006, at 10:50:52
In reply to Re: I am so sad :( » happyflower, posted by Tamar on August 10, 2006, at 18:30:51
Hi Tamar,
Thanks for your last 2 post to me. Your words seem to have a calming effect on me. The feelings I am having about losing him feel almost worse than the problems I was having that made me start therapy in the first place.
It is just so sad, I feel like I am really losing something very important to me and I can't do anything about it. ;(
Posted by susan47 on August 14, 2006, at 12:02:26
In reply to Re: I am so sad :( » Tamar, posted by happyflower on August 14, 2006, at 10:50:52
But remember that this is your decision, this was your own decision. You're being very brave (((happyflower)))
Posted by muffled on August 14, 2006, at 13:48:43
In reply to I am so sad :(, posted by happyflower on August 10, 2006, at 11:29:02
This is the end of the thread.
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