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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by muffled on August 9, 2006, at 20:05:49
My T said to me that I was a special person and I was important to her.
And now my inside kid is flipping out.
or someone is.
I should feel good.
But I feel scared.
I want to run.
I'm really confused right now.
It all came up when I said I think I'm getting attached to her. Which probably isn't a good thing.
But she says its ok.
She told me lotsa stuff, but i think I missed alot.
I don't know.
I'm really mixed up.
Stupid eh?
Muffled
Posted by sunnydays on August 9, 2006, at 21:05:13
In reply to Sh*t, now I KNOW I'm crazy...., posted by muffled on August 9, 2006, at 20:05:49
Hi muffled,
I don't think you're crazy at all. If you have been raised in an environment where people you thought you were important to failed you in some way (and I'm not saying that necessarily happened to you), it's perfectly natural to be scared when someone says you're special. Being special before never meant good things. Even if that isn't it, it's still normal for greater intimacy in a relationship (which is what your T's telling you you are special would bring) to feel scary. Hang in there. Take deep breaths and try to do something soothing. Safe cyberhugs if you want them. ((((muffled))))sunnydays
Posted by littleone on August 9, 2006, at 21:21:32
In reply to Sh*t, now I KNOW I'm crazy...., posted by muffled on August 9, 2006, at 20:05:49
> My T said to me that I was a special person and I was important to her.
> And now my inside kid is flipping out.
> or someone is.
> I should feel good.
> But I feel scared.
> I want to run.
> I'm really confused right now.Hi muffled. I think it is scary when someone we care about shows that we're important to them. I know there are lots of different reasons why people would think this. A lot of varied reasons depending on what sort of childhood issues you have.
But it's not crazy. It's perfectly sane and even smart and careful if stuff from your past has shown you that people aren't trustworthy.
I guess the hard part is trying to believe that you don't have to run this time. That this time it is safe to stay and trust and let her sit with you and listen to you.
> It all came up when I said I think I'm getting attached to her. Which probably isn't a good thing.
> But she says its ok.Maybe your admission scared you just as much as her saying you're important to her. They are both very scary things to say or hear.
I think you did really well and maybe you could give your kid a smile and a treat.
Here's one for your kid from me :)
Posted by Dinah on August 9, 2006, at 22:52:23
In reply to Sh*t, now I KNOW I'm crazy...., posted by muffled on August 9, 2006, at 20:05:49
It is scary to trust. It is scary to get attached to someone.
I guess it comes down to whether the payoff is worth the risk.
How good is the payoff, how great the risk? I always make one of those little seesaws in my mind, with reward as the weight and risk as the length. Ooohhh, hard to explain.
Obviously I find the payoff worth the risk. But that's a very personal choice.
Posted by TherapyGirl on August 10, 2006, at 8:50:39
In reply to Sh*t, now I KNOW I'm crazy...., posted by muffled on August 9, 2006, at 20:05:49
Definitely NOT crazy, Muffled. Many of us (myself included) get scared when we truly connect with another person (in my case, with adults) for the first time. It's scary and it's also an important lesson to learn that we can do this and be safe AND connected.
((((((((MUFFY)))))))))))
Posted by Jost on August 10, 2006, at 12:10:04
In reply to Re: Sh*t, now I KNOW I'm crazy.... » muffled, posted by TherapyGirl on August 10, 2006, at 8:50:39
Muffled, you crazy? I always look for your posts and love to read them.
The first time someone told me I was special, I spent the rest of the year avoiding her. She was a teacher I admired a lot, and I was taking a class with her . Didn't do much for my college grades.So yeah-- it's really really scary when someone says you're special. But if you are, you are. Not anything she can do about that, except be glad she knows you. You can't do that much about it either, except be yourself. Works out in the end.
You'll see.
Jost
Posted by muffled on August 10, 2006, at 13:33:34
In reply to Re: Sh*t, now I KNOW I'm crazy...., posted by Jost on August 10, 2006, at 12:10:04
You make me feel not so stupid.
Yeah, I'm scared. I'm terrified.
We been doing this 'get closer-run away' thing for awhile.
I'm tring not to run away.
One time I even sent her this majorly nasty fax hoping she'd dump me.
She hasn't. Which I truly don't understand.
ButI also don't understand how all this interpersonal stuff works either. So I guess she's my 'safe' person to learn with.
But I still scared.
Some part of me feels sick with fear.
She's SO nice.
I'd say I'm such an idiot, but you guys seem to understand, so mebbe I'm not. Maybe I just got more to learn.....
Sigh.
Going away for a few days with my family, in a trailer, urgh!, could get ugly!
Hope everyone has a good week.
Take care and thanks again, I'm glad I had the chance to read this b4 I left.
Muffly
Posted by Tamar on August 10, 2006, at 18:13:28
In reply to Thanks SO much guys...., posted by muffled on August 10, 2006, at 13:33:34
> One time I even sent her this majorly nasty fax hoping she'd dump me.
> She hasn't. Which I truly don't understand.It's because you're a great person to know, so she'd be crazy to dump you. And also she knows you aren't a nasty person.
> Going away for a few days with my family, in a trailer, urgh!, could get ugly!
Vacation? Have fun! Hope you have a relaxing time.
Tamar
Posted by muffled on August 15, 2006, at 23:03:12
In reply to (((((Muffled))))) » muffled, posted by Tamar on August 10, 2006, at 18:13:28
THX Tamar, good to see you posting
Take care,
Muffly
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