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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by lightening on July 20, 2006, at 1:15:13
My therapist is going to be gone a long time. I read to her what I liked about her. She got embarrassed. I feel foolish because she didn't really acknowledge the feelings. She didn't say thank you or nothing. At the time it felt really important for me to let her know how I feel about her. I don't know what I was expecting to happen but now I am feeling disappointed and sad. Can anyone relate?
Posted by Dinah on July 20, 2006, at 9:10:39
In reply to disappointed, posted by lightening on July 20, 2006, at 1:15:13
I'd be disappointed and sad too. I guess when caught by surprise, therapists can be as human as the rest of us. She was probably touched and didn't know what to say.
How long is she gone for?
Posted by ElaineM on July 20, 2006, at 9:48:07
In reply to disappointed, posted by lightening on July 20, 2006, at 1:15:13
I've read to a T/doc, what I thought about them, twice. Once, I didn't really get a response. The last time, I got a small, honest reaction - wonderful.
I know that T's have alot of reasons for being/seeming withholding. Perhaps she didn't want to cry, cause she's supposed to be strong. Perhaps she felt bad that her leaving is going to effect you so. Maybe she was embarrassed, only cause she never picked up on your true feelings for her before - like, with her T antenae. Maybe she was so moved that she didn't now how to properly respond. There's so many reasons. But it's no wonder you feel disappointed. You revealed a piece of yourself and was hoping to have it acknowledged.
Would you ever come out and ask her what it's like for her when clients tell her how much they care for her -- how it effects her. That might be a good segue into talking about what you felt after you read her your words.
That being said, I myself am a bit of a chicken when it comes to stuff like that. I always preface the things I say to T/docs. Like..."I know this may be strange for you, to be so much more important in my life, than I am in yours, but...." or, "I hope this doesn't make you feel awkward..." I guess I use it as a way to prepare them for the intense stuff a paragraph or so down ;-)
Do you think she might return to it next session, all on her own? Maybe she needed to process it more before saying anything.
I think you were brave to tell her.
take care, Elaine
Posted by mmealltalk on July 20, 2006, at 18:28:10
In reply to Re: disappointed, posted by ElaineM on July 20, 2006, at 9:48:07
Its disappointing that your t didnt respond to what you read. I read to my t all the time and she does show her feelings which can be good or bad...when its positive i love it and take it in. When its negative, and she gets angry I flip out and become a basket case so incredibly upset and hurt. Regardless, its a shame that you didnt have a chance to see your t true feelings. Also, my t is away this month and i am in the middle of my annual no therapy crisis. I can totally identify with what you are going through and am in the same boat!
Posted by canadagirl on July 20, 2006, at 21:36:38
In reply to disappointed, posted by lightening on July 20, 2006, at 1:15:13
Sometimes when we hear someone say something nice about us, we're taken aback momentarily. She might have something to say about it next time you see her.
This is the end of the thread.
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