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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by annierose on July 9, 2006, at 15:37:00
... (to continue my previous theme)
Anyway, my T's (first of two) summer vacation is almost over and I get to see her again tomorrow. This was an interesting break for me on a few levels.
First, it seems like ages ago that I saw her. It's been a little less than 2 weeks but so much happened (or so it seems). My husband had a situation happen at work (for better or worse we don't know yet), I had a "bad" mammogram but everything turned out okay in the end, I sent my daughter to summer camp for 2 weeks (longest we have been seperated)and I signed a new lease to move my current business to a new location.
As excited as I am to go to therapy tomorrow, another part of me wishes I would cancel. I've gotten use to our time apart, I made good use of my new found "free" time and we will seperate again for close to 3 weeks in just 2 weeks! I will go - I just don't want to feel that closeness AGAIN and then seperate AGAIN.
However ... I am excited to see her and tell her all that has happened. It just seems a little selfish too, to share what went on with my life since we last spoke and not find out what happened in hers.
I guess this post = internal conflict!
A little self-diagnosis.
Posted by fallsfall on July 9, 2006, at 16:43:49
In reply to Waiting to exhale ..., posted by annierose on July 9, 2006, at 15:37:00
Therapy is deliciously selfish. This is the one time when you can ENJOY being selfish.
Another break, so soon, will be hard. But we'll be here. And Camp Comfort has openings. Maybe the next two weeks are a time to get through all the logistical stuff that you never have time to get through. Hmmm. I'm trying to figure out what the "logistical" stuff I have to talk about is. And I can't think of any. Never mind!
Sounds like you handled this break really well.
Posted by Dinah on July 10, 2006, at 9:33:18
In reply to Waiting to exhale ..., posted by annierose on July 9, 2006, at 15:37:00
Sounds kind of healthy. You used the break to good advantage, you handled several things on your own, and you even regret giving up some of that free time.
And you're looking forward to telling her about it, even if you don't hear about her time off, because you have a good therapeutic relationship.
It would appear to me to be just the right balance.
(I'm glad things turned out ok on the mammogram scare. And hopefully your husband's job situation will turn out for the best.)
Posted by annierose on July 10, 2006, at 22:35:45
In reply to Re: Waiting to exhale ... » annierose, posted by Dinah on July 10, 2006, at 9:33:18
>>>Sounds kind of healthy<<
It just doesn't feel "healthy". I had a hard session today. I think she was on auto-pilot and I needed her to miss me.
Posted by annierose on July 11, 2006, at 14:17:57
In reply to Re: Waiting to exhale ... » annierose, posted by Dinah on July 10, 2006, at 9:33:18
Dinah -
I was feeling sad last night. My T and I did not have a great return session. Instead of sharing the pain of feeling alone and not missed, I was agitated and defensive.
This morning I let her see what I was really feeling and she responded in kind. It's hard to feel so vulnerable and not know what they are feeling too. We understood each other today and that feels so much better than feeling lost.
How are you doing? Are you feeling settled in your decision to stay?
Posted by annierose on July 11, 2006, at 14:26:16
In reply to Re: Waiting to exhale ... » annierose, posted by fallsfall on July 9, 2006, at 16:43:49
Thanks for your e-mail too. Watching our children grow up is a wonderful life event; it's just hard sometimes when we miss them. I saved your note and have re-read it several times. I'll need to remember this when she goes off to college.
I was folding laundry this morning and found a pair of pants that she bought "just for camp". My son and I went to the post office and paid the $14 to mail it overnight even though the pants were only $15 --- I think it will make her smile and hopefully think, "Boy do I have a nice mom!"
I had a hard session yesterday. Today I was able to share what I wanted and needed yesterday. Boy, that was hard but what a difference it can make to mutual understanding.
Posted by Dinah on July 11, 2006, at 15:47:47
In reply to Re: Waiting to exhale ... » Dinah, posted by annierose on July 11, 2006, at 14:17:57
I often find the session before he leaves and the session when he comes back are difficult. Maybe some residual anger left over? Or maybe just trying to get back into the rhythm of therapy.
As far as me, I'm ok with the decision I guess. I think it might have been better overall to leave, but it warms my heart to see my son so happy.
And my therapist and I are spending our time getting reaquainted, which is a bit harder than I had hoped. I'm still not having twice a week therapy, I'm having once a week therapy two times a week. And things seem a bit stilted.
I asked what it was we used to do, because I know I didn't just report on events twice a week, and he mentioned some things we were working on. But when I came the next time prepared to talk about those things, he seemed disinclined. He said it might be better just to leave them alone if they aren't bothering me. So we end up chatting about what happened that week.
I'm hoping time will solve it. But...
Maybe some things just can't be put back in the bottle. Maybe the slate can't be made blank again. Maybe I just know him too well now. Or maybe I don't know him as well. I don't know.
This is the end of the thread.
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