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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Mme All Talk on July 8, 2006, at 13:52:12
I'm new, but i hope someone would be willing to help me, or understood what is going on with me. My t went away for July, breaking my heart and genuinely destroying my mood. Yes, i have seen her for 15 years and i know each year she takes a break, and each year i go nuts, but this feels more intense, its worse not better. I feel abandoned by her, neglected in a sense. I feel such sadness and like a ripping out of my insides. I feel hurt and alone and rejected and unloved and uncared for and unwanted. I dont mean to sound like i am 3, i'm 29, but i feel like she doesnt like me anymore.This break has really defeated me, and i have another 23 days left, so its far from over. I'm just at my wits end, not knowing what to do. I do have two close friends who would listen to anything i said, and other friends too who care about me, i do have supports, and theres also my psychiatrist who has arranged for me to see her weekly during this time, but still, it doesnt feel like its enough. and truth be told, until i see my therapist again, i dont think anything will be enough for me. Anyhow, I wondered if anyone had any feedback for me, i'm pretty desperate for help.
Posted by rubenstein on July 8, 2006, at 14:24:03
In reply to abandoned by therapist... or so it feels, posted by Mme All Talk on July 8, 2006, at 13:52:12
>Breaks are hard. I always have trouble when my therapist goes on vacation which will be soon. I try to write more and have something that reminds me of him. IT sounds like you have a strong attachement with your therapist. I am sure your relationshio is strong and she/he won't abandon you. I have trouble witht that fear as well. Write often here. ALot of people are in the same boat during the summer. Take care of yourself.
RachelI'm new, but i hope someone would be willing to help me, or understood what is going on with me. My t went away for July, breaking my heart and genuinely destroying my mood. Yes, i have seen her for 15 years and i know each year she takes a break, and each year i go nuts, but this feels more intense, its worse not better. I feel abandoned by her, neglected in a sense. I feel such sadness and like a ripping out of my insides. I feel hurt and alone and rejected and unloved and uncared for and unwanted. I dont mean to sound like i am 3, i'm 29, but i feel like she doesnt like me anymore.This break has really defeated me, and i have another 23 days left, so its far from over. I'm just at my wits end, not knowing what to do. I do have two close friends who would listen to anything i said, and other friends too who care about me, i do have supports, and theres also my psychiatrist who has arranged for me to see her weekly during this time, but still, it doesnt feel like its enough. and truth be told, until i see my therapist again, i dont think anything will be enough for me. Anyhow, I wondered if anyone had any feedback for me, i'm pretty desperate for help.
Posted by sunnydays on July 8, 2006, at 14:50:50
In reply to Re: abandoned by therapist... or so it feels, posted by rubenstein on July 8, 2006, at 14:24:03
Breaks are hard. I haven't seen my T in about three weeks, but he told me I could call and leave him voicemails, and I talked to him on the phone twice during the break. Could you call your T and leave her a message? Would she call you back? You might want to say you feel abandoned, and maybe she would call back and say something that would help you. If not, keep posting here. I've found it immensely helpful while my T is gone.
sunnydays
Posted by Jost on July 8, 2006, at 18:00:56
In reply to abandoned by therapist... or so it feels, posted by Mme All Talk on July 8, 2006, at 13:52:12
Is there some reason it's worse this year? Something in your relationship with her that's made it harder to be away from her (or her to be away from you?)
Or something happening outside the relationship that is wearing away your sense of good feelings about her and yourself?
Going away for a month is pretty brutal, when you've come to depend on and feel secure in someone's presence for a long time. My T does the same thing in August, and I'm worrying about how I'll react this year. Each year is different, depending on how we're getting along, what ADs I'm taking--or not taking.
I hate it, even though he calls and leaves occasional message for me on my machine (not that they say much, but it's still a really nice thing to do)-- Maybe she could talk to you on the phone. Or you could write to her-maybe she would read them-but, even if she wouldn't see it until later--- if she knows you're writing, and you know she'll read them. I've done that, and sometimes it's helped.
Sorry this is so much harder than other years-- that amount of pain is something no one should have--
Is there a way you can contact her and see if she can do something to be there?
Jost
Posted by antigua on July 8, 2006, at 18:57:15
In reply to Re: abandoned by therapist... or so it feels, posted by Jost on July 8, 2006, at 18:00:56
Posted by Jost on July 8, 2006, at 21:13:55
In reply to Welcome and check into Camp Comfort (nm) » Jost, posted by antigua on July 8, 2006, at 18:57:15
Posted by ElaineM on July 9, 2006, at 10:18:28
In reply to abandoned by therapist... or so it feels, posted by Mme All Talk on July 8, 2006, at 13:52:12
Hi Mme: An entire month is a terribly long time! You shouldn't feel weird for missing her so much. After all, you've been seeing her since you were a young teen. It may even feel like you're losing a substitute-mother for awhile. (That's how it feels for me anyways.) Some people can get homesick after only a couple of days. I makes perfect sense to me that her absense would effect you so much. And I don't think you sound like you're 3. I'm 25 myself, and I have echoed your thoughts many times.
It's good that you have other supports. They may not be the same as having your T, but at least they're something. Have you ever thought of writing to your therapist, saying all about your hurt, and then reading it to your pdoc? Or have her read it to herself? It sounds like she is pretty supportive by seeing you weekly until the vacation is over. Maybe it could even be like a practise run, incase you wanted to read it to your T when she got back.
It is probably true that nothing will be enough. It'll be more about finding a small way to help you move day to day, as you're counting down her return. I think you must be pretty strong since you've made it through this gap year after year - not that it makes this one any easier.
Take care, Elaine
Posted by Dinah on July 9, 2006, at 14:41:59
In reply to abandoned by therapist... or so it feels, posted by Mme All Talk on July 8, 2006, at 13:52:12
What is it with these one month vacations? Why can't they take two weeks like everyone else? Or better yet, several one week or six day vacations.
My therapist only went away for a month once, which led to a six week break from seeing him. It was awful. And at least he admitted that it was bad for me to be without him that long.
One time he tried to give me some bull about a two week absence being good for me in terms of letting me try flying on my own and I let him have it with both barrels. About how can he see say that twice a week therapy is good for me, except when it isn't convenient to HIM, then suddenly I don't need it and it will be good for me to try my wings.
Snort.
I'm sorry, but I do understand why people get upset at lengthy absences in long term therapy where a certain level of dependency is cultivated at other times.
Posted by Mme All Talk on July 10, 2006, at 16:42:44
In reply to abandoned by therapist... or so it feels, posted by Mme All Talk on July 8, 2006, at 13:52:12
Thank you to everybody who posted, i appreciate it. I still have forever before my t gets back, 3 weeks, and i am barely getting by here. Its just so painful. I mean, i depend so much on my T the rest of the year, and then i am supposed to just forget about that and be able to deal on my own so she can take a break, i dont think so. Obviosly the issue is still very intense for me still, but i am grateful that others were willing to respond to me and knew where i was coming from. I dont know how i will get through this, its just so, so painful.
This is the end of the thread.
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