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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by cmsdphx on June 5, 2006, at 6:17:39
I cant take it anymore, i cant eat, cant sleep, im depressed all the time, my life sucks, i m lonely, no one loves me or even cares if i am depressed. i hide in my house, i hate going anywhere, my own family doesnt even care about what i am going through, my husband hates me, i am worthless, stupid, fat, ugly, and a waste of human flesh. why was i even born? i think about suicide all the time and ho easy it would be to swollow a bunch of pills and never wake up, or just walkin g out my front door to never be seen or heard from again.
Posted by llrrrpp on June 5, 2006, at 7:46:52
In reply to my chest hurts, posted by cmsdphx on June 5, 2006, at 6:17:39
Hi cms
It sounds like you are in a lot of pain right now.
Is there anyone in real life that you can talk to about this stuff? It sounds like you're overwhelmed with feeling bad about yourself. I feel like that a lot too. I know that there is a part of you, though, that wants to get better. A part of you that *hopes* and has faith that tomorrow will bring a better spirit. That's that part of you that you have to listen to. The part of you that is planning your summer vacation, or the part of you that has obligations to your loved ones. Listen to that part, and it will help you get through the dark times.Will you consider seeing a therapist, or your doctor and telling them what you are going through? I know that you feel like you're all alone. You have been isolating yourself and that makes you feel even lonelier, and you have been thinking only about the bad things in life, and about yourself. But if you talk to a therapist, or your minister, or a doctor, or even a friend that you trust-- you will find out that there are a lot of ways to help depressed people. I'm being treated right now. I have made some progress too. I can sleep and eat again. Two weeks ago I was in really bad shape, like it sounds like you are. Now I have a few good days here and there. You deserve some good days too. Everyone deserves good days.
Getting out of your depression is slow-going. And it's hard work. It probably took a lot to get to the point you are at. You won't be able to wake up and shake it off. But there is a lot of hope nowadays for folks like us. You are reaching out, and that's the first step
Take care of you and keep in touch
-ll
Posted by fairywings on June 5, 2006, at 13:41:18
In reply to my chest hurts, posted by cmsdphx on June 5, 2006, at 6:17:39
I'm sorry you're feeling so badly cms...do the feelings ever come and go, or are they 24/7? How long have you felt that way? Are you agoraphobic, or dread going out because you feel so bad? How long has your marriage been bad? Do you have children? Sometimes thinking about them helps quell the suicidal ideation.
Do you have a pdoc? On any meds? Therapy sounds like a good idea....if you don't already have one, find a good and caring T - it can make a lot of difference.
fw
Posted by ElaineM on June 5, 2006, at 15:47:36
In reply to my chest hurts, posted by cmsdphx on June 5, 2006, at 6:17:39
Even reading boards like this, or posting on here can help. For me, the worst part of suffering, and the biggest obstacle in getting through each additional day, is that it is done all alone. No one really knows. Sometimes knowing that others can see (or read) that you are in such horrible pain, and that you are continuing to endure it, helps a tiny bit. (Which is something, though small)
I'd say "I know what you must feel like" but I'd feel like a hypocrite, because I hated when people said that to me. But I think speaking to a T can be helpful, for no other reason than it provides you a place to aim to get to, and a person open to all your feelings. I used my meetings as a goal(the only goal in my life at the time). Something to commit me to the following week of living, and connect me to the future.
I'm honestly sorry you hurt so much. I wish I could say something better. (Most of my days now are bad days, and I never know how to help myself.)
Keep posting.Elaine
Posted by cmsdphx on June 9, 2006, at 2:54:34
In reply to Re: my chest hurts » cmsdphx, posted by fairywings on June 5, 2006, at 13:41:18
my husband is an alcoholic, and i started therapy just this past wednesday, and t=started meds, so who knows. my T suggested al-anon, maybe a good idea...who knows
Posted by Larry Hoover on June 9, 2006, at 9:26:07
In reply to my chest hurts, posted by cmsdphx on June 5, 2006, at 6:17:39
> I cant take it anymore, i cant eat, cant sleep, im depressed all the time, my life sucks, i m lonely, no one loves me or even cares if i am depressed. i hide in my house, i hate going anywhere, my own family doesnt even care about what i am going through, my husband hates me, i am worthless, stupid, fat, ugly, and a waste of human flesh. why was i even born? i think about suicide all the time and ho easy it would be to swollow a bunch of pills and never wake up, or just walkin g out my front door to never be seen or heard from again.
>
>Oh, I am so sorry. The dreaded "nobody answered my post" feeling.
I had so much going on that day, I just couldn't possibly say something to you, that day. And then I couldn't find your post amidst all the other "already opened" files. I knew there was a post that I could really speak to, but I couldn't find it again! Until you posted once more, to your own thread. I got back, now, to what my life prevented me from getting to, a few days back.
To all posters on this board: If you have a post that just seems to be lying there, unnoticed, but you're looking for being noticed, then Please! post again, to that very same thread. But a new flag on it, even though it's old. Bring the attention back. Please?
To cmsdphx: I won't even begin to try and pronounce that. I hope you don't mind. I'd like to keep my computer keyboard dry.
I am so glad you posted. I am so glad you posted here. I don't think there's a better collection of humans anywhere in the world, than right here.
I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. I have tears welling over so I can't hardly keep typing.
The idea to go to Al-Anon is a really good idea. Just be warned of one thing. Like any assembly of people, each meetingplace tends to attract a certain flavour of people. Each meeting is unique. If you go to an Al-Anon meeting, and you don't get that, "Oh, my God, they really *do* understand!" feeling, go to a different meeting. 12-step meetings are like different restaurants. You can't get chinese food at a pizza joint.
I don't know if you do hugs, but you are the lucky recipient of Lar's Own Patented CyBearHug®:
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{cmsdphx}}}}}}}}}}}}}It's a heck of a lot easier to hug than it is to say.
;-)
Lar
This is the end of the thread.
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