Shown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by llrrrpp on June 1, 2006, at 15:50:16
I am not a very poetic person. I don't think much about my dreams (unless they were amusing)
BUT, lately, in my depression, I have noticed my mind's eye being drawn to birds. i look for them. and even when I'm not looking I find them. I think about them a lot. Do you guys know what it means?
I look for the green monk parakeets when I want to feel happy. Squawk
A crow intimidates me. He makes me think of ill omens
My local peregrine represents the essential struggle of nature. Bird of prey, feeding her young by taking life.
And dead birds. I see them everywhere. Birds dead or dying. pigeons that have been run over, but not fatally. A songbird, as plump as in life, but motionless. A weakened robin, flapping around the cathedral, powerless to find her way out the tiny doors in the nave.
I feel anger and contempt for pigeons and starlings.
I feel jealousy for the doves. they are paired and live near the library
I worry about the white or the red pigeons. Do they know they're special? Did they choose their abnormal feathers? Do the others pick on them?
Posted by curtm on June 1, 2006, at 16:20:20
In reply to Birds as a symbol, posted by llrrrpp on June 1, 2006, at 15:50:16
Posted by llrrrpp on June 1, 2006, at 16:52:38
In reply to Birds as a symbol, posted by llrrrpp on June 1, 2006, at 15:50:16
This is a stupid post. i don't know why I wrote it. I hate myself today. i feel like a dumb loser. I'm really struggling. I don't know why you even care. I wish you would just go away. shut the door. leave this room to me and my idiocity today.
Posted by orchid on June 1, 2006, at 18:23:18
In reply to sorry all. dumb post, posted by llrrrpp on June 1, 2006, at 16:52:38
> This is a stupid post. i don't know why I wrote it. I hate myself today. i feel like a dumb loser. I'm really struggling. I don't know why you even care. I wish you would just go away. shut the door. leave this room to me and my idiocity today.
WE post all sorts of things. Some good, and some stupid. Some very insightful and intelligent and some totally off the base.
It is ok to post anything whatever you feel. Really, I don't think your post was dumb. I have felt myself feeling different things towards different birds myself.
And don't lock yourself up. :-)
Posted by llrrrpp on June 1, 2006, at 18:51:54
In reply to Re: sorry all. dumb post » llrrrpp, posted by orchid on June 1, 2006, at 18:23:18
desperate times call for desperate measures
i hurt me
and it feels good
Posted by Karolina on June 1, 2006, at 21:57:07
In reply to Re: sorry all. dumb post, posted by llrrrpp on June 1, 2006, at 18:51:54
Your post wasn't dumb!! Birds are beautiful creatures. I have a yellow cockatoo named Annabelle.
But I'm concerned that you said 'i hurt me and it feels good'...please don't hurt yourself, it's not worth it. Even if you have to post a thousand 'dumb' things on here (and expressing yourself and feelings is not stupid!) is better than causing any kind of harm to yourself.
Please take care,
-Karolina-
Posted by sleepygirl on June 1, 2006, at 22:40:58
In reply to Birds as a symbol, posted by llrrrpp on June 1, 2006, at 15:50:16
this is a very interesting post really....
I tend to think of birds as a symbol of freedom or perhaps escapethink about what birds have...
the freedom of flight-above the concerns of man
different birds though have very different qualities though...birds are cool
One of VanGogh's last paintings (if not his very last) before his suicide has birds flying off within it
I love symbols, please post all about symbols
:-)
sg
Posted by muffled on June 1, 2006, at 22:54:33
In reply to Re: sorry all. dumb post, posted by llrrrpp on June 1, 2006, at 18:51:54
I have a bird too! I LOVE birds.
try to be a bit easier on yourself if you can.
Can you think of good things to do insteada SI?
You don't have to punish yourself.
Can you find your inside baby? The innocent one before the pain?
I found mine, and she's so sweet and happy and I care about her..........and I am of her......hmmmmmmmmmmm.
Take care, I just had the sh*ttiest week, made an *ss of myself. But things are better now.
Damos is taking care of my inside kids. He's doing a good job.
Muffled
Posted by llrrrpp on June 1, 2006, at 23:26:54
In reply to Re: sorry all. dumb post » llrrrpp, posted by muffled on June 1, 2006, at 22:54:33
I'm still here.
looking at my arm that's all scraped up
but I kinda like it
it's literal pain.
doesn't have to fight so hard
it's expressed. and it's real
not imaginary anymore
not symbolic
I HATE symbols
blood's not open to interpretation
there, as plain as the nose on my face
I can get used to this.
what a rush. definitely better than other ways to kill the anguish. Well, good night babble. sleep well.you can hug me again. me and my icky arm haha! so nasty. SOOOO NASTY!!!
(((scrapes, broken skin for a broken heart)))
Again, stupid llrrrpp wishes you spare her no tears or concern. She wants you to ignore her. just pretend like you have headphones jammed in your ears. "Nielsen Symphony # 4". treat her like she treats her arm. yes
Posted by muffled on June 2, 2006, at 8:33:33
In reply to Re: sorry all. dumb post trigger, posted by llrrrpp on June 1, 2006, at 23:26:54
I don't mind your nasty arm.
Not at all.
Muffly
Posted by llrrrpp on June 2, 2006, at 8:53:30
In reply to OK ((((((((llrrrpp)))))))) » llrrrpp, posted by muffled on June 2, 2006, at 8:33:33
thanks muffy
I'm a mess
but you still hugged me
hugs to you too
(((((muffy)))))(((((bandaids))))))
(((((long sleeves)))))
This is the end of the thread.
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