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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by orchid on May 30, 2006, at 21:03:41
don't have the capacity to feel that way ourselves?
I keep reading here and thinking "wow such a wonderful post, and what a wonderful way to feel" by many posters (including when I look at my own posts sometimes). But simultaneously, I also know that the very poster who posted on some subject, suffers from the same issues herself/himself (include me too).
Why is it we can give the most perfect advise and words that anyone on this planet can come up with to others, but yet find it difficult to feel that way ourselves? There must be a way to make it work on us also right? What is missing?
For instance, one of the recent posts by Tamar to muffled, was one of the most terrific posts I have seen made ever - leave alone works by psychologists or books or novels. It was exceptional. But yet I know Tamar suffers from some of the issues herself (Tamar - I hope you are not offended by me taking you as an example. I just couldn't find a better example of an excellent post. Your above post to muffled was one of the best I felt :-)) Why is it so?
Posted by Dinah on May 30, 2006, at 21:13:38
In reply to Isn't it funny how we advise others but ...., posted by orchid on May 30, 2006, at 21:03:41
It's far easier to have perspective when we're talking to someone else.
It's easier to see what that person deserves for themselves than it is to apply those same standards to ourselves. How often are we far more compassionate with others than we'd ever be with ourselves? Because we feel we have some insight on why we don't deserve kindness.
And it's far far easier to know what's best for us than it is to tame those unruly forces that wants what it wants, not what's healthy.
I could easily tell myself what I *should* do in the troublesome areas of my life. I could easily prioritize and put the important things first. I can easily decide what's helpful in my life and what's not. But putting those things into motion, and freeing myself from the sticky morass of conflicting emotions is a lot harder.
Posted by llrrrpp on May 30, 2006, at 21:14:01
In reply to Isn't it funny how we advise others but ...., posted by orchid on May 30, 2006, at 21:03:41
Sometimes, the best way to learn something is to try to teach it to someone else. We may think we know something, but we don't really understand it until we are confronted with trying to communicate it to another.
Posted by Dinah on May 30, 2006, at 21:14:22
In reply to Re: Isn't it funny how we advise others but ...., posted by Dinah on May 30, 2006, at 21:13:38
To start a thread where we each post to ourselves as if we were someone else. :)
Posted by curtm on May 30, 2006, at 21:21:18
In reply to Re: Isn't it funny how we advise others but ...., posted by llrrrpp on May 30, 2006, at 21:14:01
> Sometimes, the best way to learn something is to try to teach it to someone else. We may think we know something, but we don't really understand it until we are confronted with trying to communicate it to another.
I agree.
I also hope that I will learn to listen from the example that others set by listening to what I think I know I am talking about.
Posted by fairywings on May 30, 2006, at 23:09:13
In reply to Re: Isn't it funny how we advise others but ...., posted by curtm on May 30, 2006, at 21:21:18
It's overwhelming (in a good way) the outpouring of support I see on babble - people reaching out to other people who are hurting or need support.
fw
Posted by happyflower on May 31, 2006, at 4:58:22
In reply to Re: Isn't it funny how we advise others but ...., posted by fairywings on May 30, 2006, at 23:09:13
THis is why T's can be good T's even though their own personal life isn't perfect.
Posted by B2chica on May 31, 2006, at 10:37:01
In reply to Isn't it funny how we advise others but ...., posted by orchid on May 30, 2006, at 21:03:41
in my case...i know the rules...i just don't believe they apply to me. i don't believe i deserve them, forgiveness, caring, understanding...i haven't had that before, why now.
but i KNOW it was wrong for others and they deserve to live life and enjoy it.
sometimes i figure i'm already screwed up, to just let all the cr@p fall on me rather than sprinkle on lots of others, let it all come to me since i'm already covered.
Posted by fairywings on May 31, 2006, at 11:57:04
In reply to Re: Isn't it funny how we advise others but ...., posted by B2chica on May 31, 2006, at 10:37:01
Posted by B2chica on May 31, 2006, at 12:01:47
In reply to Re: ((((B2)))) You deserve better (nm), posted by fairywings on May 31, 2006, at 11:57:04
Posted by Dinah on June 2, 2006, at 9:12:52
In reply to It might be interesting though..., posted by Dinah on May 30, 2006, at 21:14:22
I'm sort of sorry I suggested this. The idea was to write to ourselves the same way we write to others.
But perhaps this way is valuable as well. It's just sad, and I keep wanting to give Please Be Civils.
This is the end of the thread.
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