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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by kerria on May 27, 2006, at 14:49:58
It's too hard for me- i keep feeling so abandoned and rejected by T of past six years. i need a T who understands my parts more than anytime ever before. My T shrugged me off after all this time for no reason that makes sense. My life is a MESS as i struggle to face surgery for triggering pain and now rejection by h also.
T was the only one who knew and talked to my parts- he's not replacable. It's so unfair that he was so nitpicky and uncaring and left me with no other option than to leave .
i hate how things are now- no one that understands. The only one that understood me rejected me. i can't get over it. The new T can't help much - i don't know what parts are doing.
Most of all it hurts so much that T couldn't be on my side- the rejection is too hard:(How does anyone get through being rejected like this by their T?
tears
kerria
Posted by muffled on May 27, 2006, at 18:22:06
In reply to Need help- living with rejection by T, posted by kerria on May 27, 2006, at 14:49:58
Posted by nellie7 on May 28, 2006, at 14:06:09
In reply to Need help- living with rejection by T, posted by kerria on May 27, 2006, at 14:49:58
Hi Kerria,
I am sorry you are suffering so much and that you can't find proper support. It must be very difficult to deal with feelings of having been rejected like that.
One possible suggestion- since you feel your past T understood you and was able to talk to your parts, would you consider trying to write to him asking him why he was angry with you for reasons that were beyond your control? You can tell him how difficult it is for you now and that you would like to understand why he reacted the way he did.
Is it possible that there was something about his words or behavior that affected some of your parts more than others?
I don't know what it is like to have different parts, but sometimes when I was feeling very depressed or frightened I misinterpreted things said to me in therapy and also felt very rejected and criticized. This felt very real to me but I was later told that it was a misinterpretation which was a result of the way I was feeling.
This may not be the case with you, but it might help you to discuss your feelings with him and to see his response.
It might be better to discuss your past T's behavior with your current T first, if you haven't done so already. She may also be able to advise you on what you should do, even though she doesn't understand about your parts.
I hope you find some solution and that you feel better soon.Take care,
Nellie.
Posted by kerria on May 28, 2006, at 17:26:36
In reply to Re: Need help- living with rejection by T » kerria, posted by nellie7 on May 28, 2006, at 14:06:09
Thank you Nellie.
About two weeks ago the my current T was on vacation and left my prior T as the covering T and i saw him for a visit.
i was hoping he could explain how he acted- he even hung up on me twice after that event- with the people outside. T offered no explaination and kept saying "The therapy relationship is beyond repair" over and over as i told him what a wreck i am because of how heartless he was towards me-how much it hurt me that he didn't stand up for me that time and so many other times- some times i was an inpatient at his hospital. That was a topic that came up a lot also the past three years.
It doesn't bother him - i don't think- that he's the only one who can talk to my parts and how hard a time i'm having. He's like that- he doesn't care about me. That's why i had to leave him.
It hurts so much to talk about it.
The T i have now has heard about it from parts- there is one that's completely distraught and i don't know how to help.
The sad part is that my h is also tired of being with me now- it feels so sad and we feel so unloved and alone in everything. It's saping my capacity to do anything. i'm missing work, having a hard time switching into the work part, getting to work, facing the medical stuff is too hard.
It feels so unfair and even unethical that T was like this to me. i feel like he abandoned me because of his uncaring attitude made me not able to go to him anymore. It's so unfair.
i guess i have to forget it and try to find a T that can help but that's so hard because we're so upset now. what else can i do? If i go back to him he will only hurt me again and again- i have to NOT EVER go back. He's an uncaring critical T and he's not going to change. The last time i left but went back when it became so hard but he didn't become any more sensitive to my feelings. Hurting me is no problem. He's done trauma therapy too long maybe- hardened his heart against clients. He doesn't call them 'clients' he calls them 'patients'- a class below that doesn't matter as much the rest of the human race.
i want to find support so much- i don't want to ever go back to him and let him hurt me like this ever again.
He knows how much he hurt me- he doesn't care:(Thanks for writing- i have to find a way to put this away- it's too hard now to feel so hurt. i feel that he damaged me so much by his non acceptance of parts and critical attitude against me when i couldn't have helped how parts acted.
kerria and all inside so hurt by this guy
Posted by kerria on May 28, 2006, at 22:45:47
In reply to (((((((((Kerria))))))) (nm) » kerria, posted by muffled on May 27, 2006, at 18:22:06
Thank you ((((((((Muffled))))))))safe hugs
i wish i could find another T that cares and can help me. we're such a mess- i can't function. H 's being mean to me at home- holding DID against me, blaming me for everything that goes wrong or is missing because i have parts.
everything is too hard for me. There's too many hard things- i have to keep switching because it's too painful to be present in this life- i hate my life.
thanks for listening. i wish that i had a good relationship in my life. Relationships are too hard for me -i need support so badly- i wish that H would help- not be so mean at home. there's no where to be safe:(
thank you for caring,
kerria
Posted by muffled on May 28, 2006, at 23:04:22
In reply to Re: (((((((((Kerria))))))) » muffled, posted by kerria on May 28, 2006, at 22:45:47
Some of you can come to my cave. But you have to follow the rules.
Mebbe it'll give some of you a rest.
I wish you could get better help.
I'm so sorry its so hard for you.
Muffled
Posted by nellie7 on May 29, 2006, at 12:19:20
In reply to Need help- living with rejection by T, posted by kerria on May 27, 2006, at 14:49:58
Kerria,Perhaps you can ask your current T to refer you to someone who can help you if she can't? It is understandable that you don't want to go back to the T who hurt you.
It is sad that you are hurting so much and can't find someone who understands. I hope you find a solution soon.Nellie.
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