Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 638453

Shown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Re: lesbian sexual feelings fantasy 4 myT » eyes2ursoul

Posted by eyes2ursoul on April 30, 2006, at 15:53:39

In reply to lesbian sexual feelings fantasy 4 myT, posted by eyes2ursoul on April 30, 2006, at 9:42:06

> Hi - I'm a new female addition to babble.
>
> Is there anyone else female that posts here who is having a hard time with their feelings of a sexual nature towards their female therapist?
>
> I have been seeing my T for 3 years and i cant stop feeling i want to kiss her!!
>
> Does this happen to anyone else?
>
> Im new to the posting but have been looking around for about a year at the babble boards.
>
> Its not like me to open up on a web site, but i'm at the stage i really need to talk to someone about this, and I honestly dont know anyone else i can talk to thats why ive posted here.
>
> I hope im not too forward or anything, i dont mean to be, its just that i cant say it any other way, except that im sexually attracted to my female T and i'm not sure how to make the feelings go away or if they ever will.
>
> are there any other lesbians on babble who can help me?
>
> Thanks for listening and taking the time to read my post.
>
> Thanking you in anticipation of a helpful response.
>
> Take care

Hi again - Iam the same babbler, new andhave been trying all day to figure out how to get my message from social to psychological board.

the kind babbler tabitha redirected me to your board from social.

i am very sorry for all the duplicate headings with no message. i only just figured it out, and i made a mistake by sending the othe babblers post over to psychological instead of my own!

i do hope i have not caused any offense by this, it was a mistake, and i will know in the future how to transfer if the neen arises from one board to another.

i would never deliberatltey do such a thing, but i hope you can see the genuineness of my error. i am very nervous and have never posted here before.

i am in such need of some help with my feelings for my female therapist i just had to take the plunge and come here for some advice.

thank you for reading my post.

and thanking you in anticipation of some kind responses.

take care

 

lesbian sexual feelings fantasy 4 myT

Posted by eyes2ursoul on April 30, 2006, at 15:57:47

Hi - I'm a new female addition to babble.

Is there anyone else female that posts here who is having a hard time with their feelings of a sexual nature towards their female therapist?

I have been seeing my T for 3 years and i cant stop feeling i want to kiss her!!

Does this happen to anyone else?

Im new to the posting but have been looking around for about a year at the babble boards.

Its not like me to open up on a web site, but i'm at the stage i really need to talk to someone about this, and I honestly dont know anyone else i can talk to thats why ive posted here.

I hope im not too forward or anything, i dont mean to be, its just that i cant say it any other way, except that im sexually attracted to my female T and i'm not sure how to make the feelings go away or if they ever will.

are there any other lesbians on babble who can help me?

Thanks for listening and taking the time to read my post.

Thanking you in anticipation of a helpful response.

Take care

 

Re: lesbian sexual feelings fantasy 4 myT

Posted by Tabitha on April 30, 2006, at 15:57:47

In reply to lesbian sexual feelings fantasy 4 myT, posted by eyes2ursoul on April 30, 2006, at 9:42:06

Hi! Welcome to Babble. If you go over to the Psychology board you'll find a lot of discussion of romantic & sexual feelings toward therapists. I get the idea it's a pretty common thing, so don't think you're alone in this.

 

I've redirected your post from Social to here » eyes2ursoul

Posted by gardenergirl on April 30, 2006, at 16:00:08

In reply to Re: lesbian sexual feelings fantasy 4 myT, posted by eyes2ursoul on April 30, 2006, at 15:31:43

Hi and welcome to Babble. The different boards can be confusing at times. Thanks for trying to move it yourself. It can be complicated, though. I've brought your thread from the Social board to this one, and I've deleted the extra posts.

Take care,

Deputy gg

 

No worries! :) (nm) » eyes2ursoul

Posted by gardenergirl on April 30, 2006, at 16:03:51

In reply to Re: lesbian sexual feelings fantasy 4 myT » eyes2ursoul, posted by eyes2ursoul on April 30, 2006, at 15:53:39

 

Re: I've redirected your post from Social to here

Posted by eyes2ursoul on April 30, 2006, at 16:18:25

In reply to I've redirected your post from Social to here » eyes2ursoul, posted by gardenergirl on April 30, 2006, at 16:00:08

> Hi and welcome to Babble. The different boards can be confusing at times. Thanks for trying to move it yourself. It can be complicated, though. I've brought your thread from the Social board to this one, and I've deleted the extra posts.
>
> Take care,
>
> Deputy gg


Awwwe!! Thanks so much Gardenergirl, that was really sweet of you to help me like that and for making me feel welcome, it means alot.

Thank you so much for making it easier for me, by deleting them, as a new babbler, i wanted to make a good impression, and you've saved me the embarrassment of having all those needless extra posts.

Kind regards

 

Re: lesbian sexual feelings fantasy 4 myT

Posted by Veracity on April 30, 2006, at 16:23:55

In reply to lesbian sexual feelings fantasy 4 myT, posted by eyes2ursoul on April 30, 2006, at 9:42:06

I am a lesbian, but I really haven't experienced any sexual feelings for my therapist. But I don't think you're feeling all that different from any other client who has these feelings for her therapist, male or female.

Why not talk about it with your therapist? That seems like the most sure-fire way to defuse the feelings - get them out in the open. My therapist always says that uncomfortable feelings are like mushrooms, they grow in the dark. When you expose them to light, get them out in the open, they die away. And she hasn't been wrong yet!

Hopefully your therapist is well-trained and experienced enough to work with you through your feelings. Seriously, I have found out rather recently that the very best thing you can do in therapy is ALWAYS talk about the thing you LEAST want to talk about. If something is troubling you, you need to get it out and who better to hear it than a non-judgemental person who has your best interests in mind? The only way past it is through it, ya know?

Good luck. :)

 

Re: sexual longings to kiss ur T

Posted by eyes2ursoul on April 30, 2006, at 16:31:14

In reply to No worries! :) (nm) » eyes2ursoul, posted by gardenergirl on April 30, 2006, at 16:03:51

Hi

does any woman here ever feel like leaning over and kissing their T during a session?

I do all the time, and wonder what she'd do if one day i just did what i want to do.

does anyone have any experience of this or actually done it?

I have even felt turned on after the sessions i mean noticably for a woman. If you know what i mean, as its different for a male, you can easily tell when they are physically turned on.

I have been so surprised by this, and wonder what would happen if i came out and told her (my Therapist) she was turning me on just by sitting near to me in the small room where we have met each week for 3 years.

i wouls appreciate any help/thoughts or your own experiences with a similarsituation; e.g. a lesbian babbler in therapy with a woman.

I'm actuaaly bi sexual, and really only discovered that during my therapy in the last year, i'm actually lesbian too!

Makes me wonder if its helping me as i didnt think i was actually a lesbian until i went into therapy.

I guess there are not very many females in my position here, i know lesbians are the minority and most babblers are married - but i do hope to find someone willing to be kind with my very frustrating female longings for my wonderful T.

 

Re: lesbian sexual feelings fantasy 4 myT

Posted by eyes2ursoul on April 30, 2006, at 16:46:51

In reply to Re: lesbian sexual feelings fantasy 4 myT, posted by Veracity on April 30, 2006, at 16:23:55

Wow! Thanks so much veracity for being so frank and open and honest. I am really happy you have responded to me.

I totally agree with what you are saying, its just that i'm very afrais she'll terminate the therapy is she thinks i'm in love with her.

I've always had strong feelings all of my life for a woman in one shape or form.

It was my high school teacher from age 13 right up until around the age of 21 when i at last wrote her a letter declaring my feeling for her all those years.

She was very sweet about it and said it was normal for a school girl to have a crush on a lady teacher.

I still feel a love towards her today, an admiration and rerspect, although thanks be to God i'm not dreaming os sex with the teacher any more.

I have been dreaming about lots of sex with my therapist though. It started last July , straight out of the blue one night, and the most vivid dream possible. it stays with me to this day very strongly.

And since I've just had loads of dreams of sexual encouters with my therapist. I dont fight it now i just let them come. Actually since i have stopped focusing on the dreams they have pretty much stopped since end of Feb 2006.

But i dont know if or how i should say this - i have been fantasising about her in wakened moments. so i guess i brought from my subconcious dreams the desire into my consciouse world when i'm you know what, am i allowed to say masturbating (yikes!! & whoops!!)

sorry if thats a word i shouldnt use on here - please just let me know and i'll use whatever the acceptable alternative is on the boards.

Honest I did try to think of an alternative but i couldnt think of one, so i just went with the medical so to speak word for it.

Any thoughts on this whole subject anyone?

I do very much appreciate veracity's response so far. Thank you Veracity!!!

 

Re: lesbian sexual feelings fantasy 4 myT » Veracity

Posted by eyes2ursoul on April 30, 2006, at 17:30:51

In reply to Re: lesbian sexual feelings fantasy 4 myT, posted by Veracity on April 30, 2006, at 16:23:55

> I am a lesbian, but I really haven't experienced any sexual feelings for my therapist. But I don't think you're feeling all that different from any other client who has these feelings for her therapist, male or female.
>
> Why not talk about it with your therapist? That seems like the most sure-fire way to defuse the feelings - get them out in the open. My therapist always says that uncomfortable feelings are like mushrooms, they grow in the dark. When you expose them to light, get them out in the open, they die away. And she hasn't been wrong yet!
>
> Hopefully your therapist is well-trained and experienced enough to work with you through your feelings. Seriously, I have found out rather recently that the very best thing you can do in therapy is ALWAYS talk about the thing you LEAST want to talk about. If something is troubling you, you need to get it out and who better to hear it than a non-judgemental person who has your best interests in mind? The only way past it is through it, ya know?
>
> Good luck. :)

Hi Veracity - thanks very much for taking the time to reply to me - it was very kind of you and i think ur advice is spot on.

I did write another rerply but its kind lond and i forgot to click add name of previous poster(thats you) to the reply i sent so it just looks like another duplacte on the surface from the same ones i posted over and over by mistake earlier on.

As i said i love ur advice, the only problem is that i'm scared she will terminate me if i tell her all about the feelings and the effect she has on me now.

So as i dont want to lose her, and im in therapy
working on many other important issues too, i'm kinda hoping to sort this one out on the babble boards!

Kind regards

 

Re: reply to Veracity and others Re fantasy 4 myT » eyes2ursoul

Posted by eyes2ursoul on April 30, 2006, at 17:33:38

In reply to Re: lesbian sexual feelings fantasy 4 myT, posted by eyes2ursoul on April 30, 2006, at 16:46:51

> Wow! Thanks so much veracity for being so frank and open and honest. I am really happy you have responded to me.
>
> I totally agree with what you are saying, its just that i'm very afrais she'll terminate the therapy is she thinks i'm in love with her.
>
> I've always had strong feelings all of my life for a woman in one shape or form.
>
> It was my high school teacher from age 13 right up until around the age of 21 when i at last wrote her a letter declaring my feeling for her all those years.
>
> She was very sweet about it and said it was normal for a school girl to have a crush on a lady teacher.
>
> I still feel a love towards her today, an admiration and rerspect, although thanks be to God i'm not dreaming os sex with the teacher any more.
>
> I have been dreaming about lots of sex with my therapist though. It started last July , straight out of the blue one night, and the most vivid dream possible. it stays with me to this day very strongly.
>
> And since I've just had loads of dreams of sexual encouters with my therapist. I dont fight it now i just let them come. Actually since i have stopped focusing on the dreams they have pretty much stopped since end of Feb 2006.
>
> But i dont know if or how i should say this - i have been fantasising about her in wakened moments. so i guess i brought from my subconcious dreams the desire into my consciouse world when i'm you know what, am i allowed to say masturbating (yikes!! & whoops!!)
>
> sorry if thats a word i shouldnt use on here - please just let me know and i'll use whatever the acceptable alternative is on the boards.
>
> Honest I did try to think of an alternative but i couldnt think of one, so i just went with the medical so to speak word for it.
>
> Any thoughts on this whole subject anyone?
>
> I do very much appreciate veracity's response so far. Thank you Veracity!!!

this is the one i forgot to put ur name on as the previous poster Veracity! Tahnks again*
>

 

Re: lesbian sexual feelings fantasy 4 myT » eyes2ursoul

Posted by fallsfall on April 30, 2006, at 20:36:22

In reply to Re: lesbian sexual feelings fantasy 4 myT ? Veracity, posted by eyes2ursoul on April 30, 2006, at 17:30:51

It is possible to have sexual feelings for a woman therapist and not be lesbian in any way. I'm not saying that you AREN'T lesbian, I'm just saying that the feelings that you have for your therapist could have a different explanation.

I don't know what kind of therapy your therapist practices - do you? Is it Cognitive Behavioral (CBT), or psychodynamic, or something else? Depending on they type of therapy, your therapist might react differently to what you say. So it might be helpful to know where she's coming from.

I find that in therapy I wind up having transference feelings a lot. There has been a lot written on this board about transference. For me, what happens is that something my therapist (or someone else, for that matter) does reminds me strongly of something from my past (either good or bad). And instead of feeling towards my therapist based on what is actually going on, I end up feeling like i did towards some other person in the past.

For instance, my father is very critical. So every time my therapist would challenge anything I said, I heard his comments as critical - even though he wasn't being critical. I FELT the criticism that I was used to feeling from my dad. And those old feelings are usually even more intense than regular feelings. So it seemed to me that he was being critical, when he really wasn't. It just felt that way because I had old feelings coming up at that point.

I'm not explaining this well...

The point is, that your therapist might be reminding you of someone in your past who you did want to kiss. The person from the past and the therapist don't need to be of the same sex. People have maternal transference feelings for male therapists etc.

I'll be interested to hear what kind of therapy she does.

 

Re: lesbian sexual feelings fantasy 4 myT » Veracity

Posted by happyflower on April 30, 2006, at 21:11:35

In reply to Re: lesbian sexual feelings fantasy 4 myT, posted by Veracity on April 30, 2006, at 16:23:55

>>
That seems like the most sure-fire way to defuse the feelings - get them out in the open. My therapist always says that uncomfortable feelings are like mushrooms, they grow in the dark. When you expose them to light, get them out in the open, they die away. And she hasn't been wrong yet!

I love this saying! IT is sooo true.
>

 

Re: lesbian sexual feelings fantasy 4 myT

Posted by annierose on April 30, 2006, at 22:11:03

In reply to Re: lesbian sexual feelings fantasy 4 myT » Veracity, posted by happyflower on April 30, 2006, at 21:11:35

I agree with Falls. I am female and see a female T and both of us are married to men. I do have loving feelings for my T, although I do not fantasize about her. But I can see how that could happen, how those loving feelings could be sexual, even though I am not gay.

My point is - it is two different things entirely. Just because you want to kiss your T, doesn't automatically mean you are a lesiban - and to borrow a line from Seinfeld - although there's nothing wrong with that.

This is something that would be good to explore in therapy, especially if she is pyschodynamically orientated. have you ever told her how you feel? How has she responded in the past?

 

Re: lesbian sexual feelings fantasy 4 myT

Posted by barna on May 2, 2006, at 4:01:18

In reply to Re: lesbian sexual feelings fantasy 4 myT, posted by Veracity on April 30, 2006, at 16:23:55

I'm also a lesbian and I've been in therapy for 2 years with a female T. I had therapy because I was trying to end a 5-year relationship, and I could finally end it with her help. Then I started having strong feelings for my T, totally positive transference, even sexual feelings. I started having fantasies with her, thinking all the time about her, wanting to kiss her and touch her in therapy... until I told her what I was feeling. I just told her I thought I was falling in love with her, and she said this was normal, and we started working on what made me feel like that. Now I am not so obsessed, but the feelings are still there, it's a kind of true love I don't know how to explain, but I feel it deep in my heart. I would like to kiss her, I would like to know more things about her, but this is not possible and I don't know if it will ever be. I just enjoy the moments I am with her and appreciate how she has helped and is helping me in many ways. I love loving her.

 

Re: lesbian sexual feelings fantasy 4 myT

Posted by eyes2ursoul on May 10, 2006, at 6:21:41

In reply to Re: lesbian sexual feelings fantasy 4 myT, posted by barna on May 2, 2006, at 4:01:18

Hi BARNA!!

I would like to thank you for your open sharing here. I am so very encouraged and touched by what you have said, it's so lovely and I simply want to thank you fro sharing, as I to have fantasies about my T. I have stopped trying to avoid them and now i just go with the flow so to speak.

KNowing that you also feel like kissing your female Therapist, is jsut comforting for me in a way to feel i'm not alone.

Sometimes I just sit and cry, like right now as i'm writing this to you, i\m crying because of the strong feelings she is producing in me. Or i'm producing towards her . I dont know how to say it politically correctly. But all I know is I want to be close to her and held by her, and yes; kiss and kiss and kiss!!!!

Oh my im crying so now -just writing that seems to hurt as i see it on the screen my words kind of frighten me and surprise me. Maybe like it feels more real because I am sharing it with the world wide web!!! How crazy is that, but I guess it does feel like a family here and that it's just private between us.

Anyway thanks for listening!! Bye


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