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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Racer on April 26, 2006, at 16:58:43
It's interesting, because I cry in most sessions, to think that alexithymia still applies to me. In fact, my T and I talked about this a bit today. She was trying to probe into my feelings, and I thought that's what I was doing. But turns out I was just offering thoughts. She said that's what I always do -- offer thoughts, when she's asking about feelings.
I told her, that I was surprised, but she was right -- I really don't know what I feel, still. I just kinda assumed that, since I cry so often, emotions must be involved... She said that's a common enough mistake, but that tears aren't always an indication of emotion.
When I think about it, I guess I do see that I really don't know how to get at feelings, and when I talk about things, it's definitely from an intellectual place. And I don't know what I'd say about emotions. I know I have them, but I don't know how to bring them out, so that we can look at them.
I think I'm going to put together a list of feelings, or words for feelings, and try to learn to identify them. Didn't someone here write about making up a color coded list of feelings? I think I'm going to try that.
But not until I've gotten past the math test tomorrow. (And thank you again, Fallsfall)
Posted by muffled on April 27, 2006, at 9:28:28
In reply to Alexithymia, posted by Racer on April 26, 2006, at 16:58:43
Yeah I understand totally. Its weird how we can get so lost :-(
Anyhow I'm taking an emotions thing at our local mental health place.
Its a bit odd at times cuz I just don't get stuff at all sometimes :-(
Take care.
You nice racer
Muffly
Posted by fairywings on April 27, 2006, at 12:07:16
In reply to Alexithymia, posted by Racer on April 26, 2006, at 16:58:43
I mix up thoughts with feelings too. It's good you can cry though - maybe even if you're not expressing feelings, you're feeling them?
fw
Posted by Racer on April 27, 2006, at 12:31:55
In reply to Re: Alexithymia » Racer, posted by fairywings on April 27, 2006, at 12:07:16
Actually, what my T said was that I was crying about the thoughts, not the feelings. That doesn't sound sensible, but it "feels" true to me. I'm not sure how to express that, though, but I think she's right.
Yes, I know that I do feel, and I know that I even recognize when I'm feeling certain things, but I don't know what to do with the feelings, so I tend to wall them off. That includes positive feelings, by the way -- the feeling that comes up when I think of my ex's older son, for example, is that sense that my ribs are going to break because they can't contain the love I feel for him. But other than having that rib-cracking feeling, I don't know what to do about it.
Bah. I can't come up with words today. Between stress over the classes I'm taking and the fertility drugs I just started again, I'm on my way to becoming a raving lunatic. I'm going to go hide in the closet now...
Posted by gardenergirl on April 27, 2006, at 13:06:41
In reply to Re: Alexithymia » fairywings, posted by Racer on April 27, 2006, at 12:31:55
My husband gives thoughts, not feelings, too. And I've had a few clients who also did that.
If you go to this site: http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/emotion_regulation1.html and look at handout 4 (a-m), you'll get all the emotions words you can handle, and then some.
Handout 3 is also good for learning to identify feelings based on looking at all the clues available.
These are two of my favorites from the DBT "Skills Training Manual".
gg
Posted by Racer on April 27, 2006, at 13:50:03
In reply to Re: Alexithymia, posted by gardenergirl on April 27, 2006, at 13:06:41
It's funny -- I did download those, but when I looked at it, what came up first for me was "I have work harder to control my emotions better." That sort of reaction always interests me, because I'm not entirely sure what it comes from, really...
I know it's part and parcel of AN, though, because the other part of the reaction was, "And if I can work hard enough to control myself, I will be thin again."
You know what? It takes a lot of energy to be crazy sometimes...
xoxo
Posted by ClearSkies on April 27, 2006, at 16:44:58
In reply to Re: Alexithymia » gardenergirl, posted by Racer on April 27, 2006, at 13:50:03
Hmm... and I just had written this
it takes so much time
so much energy
it keeps my day filled
avoiding one thing
procrastinating another
abandoning yet a thirdCS
Posted by fallsfall on April 29, 2006, at 10:24:40
In reply to Alexithymia, posted by Racer on April 26, 2006, at 16:58:43
I'm the one with the color coded emotion words.
They came from the DBT lists of emotions. I typed them out and printed each list (sadness, happiness, shame etc) on a different color, and then cut out the words. I call them "emotional confetti".I have gotten better (over the last decade) at recognizing emotions. It is still something I have to work hard at, and I still have a lot to learn.
Posted by Racer on April 29, 2006, at 21:34:47
In reply to Re: Alexithymia, posted by gardenergirl on April 27, 2006, at 13:06:41
I found this one, too, that I like. http://fishyvb.something-fishy.org/htmls/feelings.html
It's got a lot of feelings listed, with some very subtle distinctions between some of them, and differing forms of the same verbs -- disappointing and disappointed, for instance. Some of the feelings are certainly for younger people -- I promise you I will *never* feel "Smokin'" in this lifetime. And -- fair warning -- no spell checker was used in the making of this list... (Although in some cases, another word was correctly spelled, so it wouldn't have mattered -- how often have you felt "Fowl" lately?)
If you use both this list AND the lists from the DBT handouts that GG posted, you'll get a pretty comprehensive list of feelings.
And Fallsfall's idea of Emotional Confetti is brilliant. When I read it, I thought that was a good idea and that I would print the list, but I didn't need to cut it apart, etc. Well, today she and I sat here and cut apart the words and tossed 'em on the floor, and you know what? I really did have to cut them apart and toss them on the floor. They needed to be separate for me to recognize that this one word really did enter into what I was feeling. If they'd been together in a list, I would (and did) start with something like, "I'm feeling sad, so let me find all the sad words on the list." But taking each one separately, as it came up in the pile, allowed me to check whether that word resonated for me. Wonderful exercise.
And a very heartfelt Thank You to Fallsfall, who is a delight as well as having brilliant ideas like this. Thank you, Falls.
Posted by fallsfall on April 30, 2006, at 9:13:35
In reply to Another list of feelings ? gardenergirl, posted by Racer on April 29, 2006, at 21:34:47
It was great fun, Racer.
I was pleased at how the words I picked for myself were so much more joyful than the last time I did it. Some of that was because I was having a good time with you.
This is the end of the thread.
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