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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by bent on April 21, 2006, at 8:01:05
I have known my T for 4 years so I have had my share of dreams about her. Usually they involve her in some way abandoning me or underestimating me. This is a common theme in my therapy and one that we have talked about extensively. She’s more of a psychodynamic T and shows a lot of interest in dreams. Up until last night I had never even had a remotely sexual dream about my T. In my dream, I was just getting to my appointment and the person who was there before me was a relative which I thought was weird. This cousin said something about my T having something fun to do and that I would like it. That the two of them had even talked about me and how much I would like it. So when my T got me we went into her office, which seemed more like a living space than an office. Not really a bedroom but maybe a family room. It wasn’t a mess but it wasn’t all neat and organized either – it was “lived in.” That caused me to think somehow we were at her house. I see a Trivial Pursuit-looking game on the floor. One that was left mid-play. So my T and I sit on the floor around the game. For some reason I wonder if she and my relative had been playing or maybe she and her husband. It seemed like we would begin playing the game but I don’t remember playing. I know I was surprised and happy when she handed me my playing piece (kinda like a metal monopoly piece) and it was a little figurine of my favorite pet. From there things got weirder. My T hugged me, which has never happened. I liked it because in reality I’d love for my T to give me a hug. But then we started kissing (this creeps me out). Nothing was directly sexual but indirectly it was. I was uncomfortable with her advances but I let them happen anyway. I knew it was wrong of her and I was uncomfortable but at the same time it was like I was getting a little of the attention I craved even though it had a little weirdness to it. I was kinda upset though, thinking this would forever ruin our therapeutic relationship so I tried to get away from her. We were kinda on a couch and I was sitting and she was leaning towards me almost so that she’d have to move for me to get up. Not like she was trapping me there or anything. So she hugs me again and is pushing my hair back from my face and asks if I am sure I want to leave. She asks if I want to stay with her. If I want her to take care of me. I am torn because in some emotional ways I want this, but really I just want her to be my T too and I know this will ruin that. She says something to the effect that she will eventually pull away and put boundaries back up and how that will make me feel rejected after this. At the end of the dream I am asking her, sort of begging her to not reject me. To not see the mistake she made and how she crossed the boundaries as a reason to refer me to someone else. Its like I was uncomfortable by her actions and I didn’t like it but I still desperately wanted her to be my T. That was pretty much it. I don’t get it!!??!! Should I tell her?? I can’t imagine telling her she kissed me, passionately, in my dream. Even though, I didn’t want that. I don’t want her to think I am weird if I tell her. I don’t want there to be weirdness in the room. I am sure she’s heard much worse. Ahhh…this is driving me crazy!!
Posted by Veracity on April 21, 2006, at 19:45:43
In reply to Dream about my T is driving me crazy!!, posted by bent on April 21, 2006, at 8:01:05
If I had that dream, I would be really freaked out too.
But you should tell her, because I don't think therapists judge their clients for these things (or even judge them at all) and it sounds like it could be really important to talk about.
I have never had an intimate-type of dream about my therapist, but I have had them about another authority figure in my life. I'm going to talk to my therapist about them, but I'm nervous. It's such a personal thing.
Posted by bent on April 24, 2006, at 7:30:59
In reply to Re: Dream about my T is driving me crazy!!, posted by Veracity on April 21, 2006, at 19:45:43
I dont think my T would be at all 'uncomfortable' with hearing about this dream. I am very sure its just me that feels so uncomfortable. I think I just feel so weird since this isnt something I've ever drempt about. I dont and never have had any attraction to my T. I dont think of her at all in a romantic way. I'd kinda like to hear her interpretation of it, if I can ever tell her.
Posted by Tamar on April 25, 2006, at 20:00:03
In reply to Dream about my T is driving me crazy!!, posted by bent on April 21, 2006, at 8:01:05
Oddly enough, I often think that dreams about sex are pointing to other things. It sounds to me as if this dream wasn’t so much about sex as about wanting to belong and feeling rejected. I can imagine it’s embarrassing to contemplate telling your therapist that you dreamed she was kissing you, but I don’t think she’ll jump to the conclusion that you’re sexually attracted to her.
I think it’s particularly interesting that in the dream you were very aware of the potential harm to the therapeutic relationship. It was a matter of enormous concern to you. And I guess that’s more about boundaries than about sex, as I’m sure you recognise. I wonder if you feel her boundaries are so rigid that it’s hard for you to get close to her… Maybe you feel you’ve been rejected before you’ve even asked her for closeness. Or maybe I’m projecting my own concerns onto your dream… But that’s how it sounded to me anyway…
Tamar
Posted by bent on April 26, 2006, at 8:21:34
In reply to Re: Dream about my T is driving me crazy!! » bent, posted by Tamar on April 25, 2006, at 20:00:03
Those are all good things to think about. Thanks! I am really debating on whether I feel I can tell her about this today. I have plenty of things to talk about but this will be on my mind probably. Its stressing me out! I agree with you I think the sexual part of the dream represents something completely not sexual. I think it is more about boundaries and rejection. I am sure my T could make some sense of it. I am hoping I can tell her. Thanks.
Posted by bent on April 27, 2006, at 16:03:23
In reply to Dream about my T is driving me crazy!!, posted by bent on April 21, 2006, at 8:01:05
it was hard. i had to write it out. we talked about it and she wants to talk more about it. she said she was glad i could share something that made me so uncomfortable. i left feeling as though I had just been reminded how strong and resilient our relationship is, and that i really can tell her just about anything.
Posted by TherapyGirl on April 27, 2006, at 16:42:16
In reply to Re: i told her, posted by bent on April 27, 2006, at 16:03:23
Way to go, Bent. I am so proud of you for doing something so difficult. And good for your T for her excellent response.
This is the end of the thread.
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