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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on April 12, 2006, at 23:59:12
About a week and a half ago, my pdoc (who is my T), told me, "I'll be thinking of you" when our session ended.
Does that mean she thinks of me outside of sessions? That kind of freaks me out. I feel like she cares about me during our sessions, but I'm not sure how I feel about her caring about me outside of sessions. That's just a little weird.
That would put too much pressure on me. I don't know if I would be able to tell her everything if she saw me that way...more than a patient. I already sometimes feel like I let her down when I don't do well. I think I'll feel that more if I thought she cared about me all the time.
What do you think?
Does anyone know what I'm talking about?
Deneb*
Posted by annierose on April 13, 2006, at 7:16:21
In reply to My pdoc cares too much?, posted by Deneb on April 12, 2006, at 23:59:12
I don't think she means it as you interpreted the comment. As a client, someone she cares about, someone she is helping, she will be thinking about you.
Try to think in terms of a teacher. At home, he/she may come across an article or a book and think, "This sounds like Susan, I'll need to share this with her mother." or "I'd bet Jack would like working out this puzzle."
It's human. We can't shut our emotions on and off (although there are times when I would love to be able to do that).I'd glad my T may think of my welfare outside of our session times. Maybe your pdoc is thinking, "How can I help Deneb better? How can I reach her? What can I do to comfort her?" Who knows what she meant specifically, but I don't think she meant, "I'll be thinking of you as a friend or romantically."
Does that make sense? It was a kind parting thought. Letting you know you are important to her and she wants to help you. Enjoy it.
Posted by crazy teresa on April 13, 2006, at 7:34:01
In reply to My pdoc cares too much?, posted by Deneb on April 12, 2006, at 23:59:12
It sounds like a kind, motherly thing to say to someone. It's not like she's delcaring her undying love or anything.
Posted by Deneb on April 13, 2006, at 13:43:56
In reply to Re: My pdoc cares too much? » Deneb, posted by annierose on April 13, 2006, at 7:16:21
Knowing that I'm important to my pdoc is a strange thing.
I tend not to ever get this deep into relationships. It's a foreign thing to me.
Deneb*
Posted by annierose on April 13, 2006, at 18:06:23
In reply to Re: My pdoc cares too much?, posted by Deneb on April 13, 2006, at 13:43:56
So consider this relationship - practice. With a therapist, you get to practice all types of conversations and feelings that are normally difficult IRL with people that you are or want to become close with. That is the beauty of therapy. She won't reject you, although it may feel like that at times. By getting comfortable with this level of intimacy in therapy (over time) you will be able to generalize that feeling with other people IRL.
You can talk to her about this next time you meet.
Posted by muffled on April 13, 2006, at 22:34:19
In reply to My pdoc cares too much?, posted by Deneb on April 12, 2006, at 23:59:12
Yeah, I'm with you all the way on that one deneb. I get freaked to think my T actually gives a sh*t about me. I think I am comming round to the fact that maybe she does in some way......but I don't really understand it cuz I feel rather unlovable somehow. Defective merchandise. I just end up hurting others. And now I get ascared of hurting my T. mebbe its her job, but she is just human...
ugh!!!!!!I dunno whether this makes sense.
You seem to be doing so much better than you were awhile ago Deneb. I am happy for you.
Muffly
Posted by Deneb on April 14, 2006, at 0:08:16
In reply to Re: My pdoc cares too much? » Deneb, posted by annierose on April 13, 2006, at 18:06:23
> You can talk to her about this next time you meet.
I'll try to remember it. Once she told me that it's good that I'm able to stick with seeing her for so long. It's a relationship. I usually don't do so well in relationships, but I'm able to stick with my pdoc.
Deneb*
Posted by Deneb on April 14, 2006, at 0:10:39
In reply to Re: My pdoc cares too much? » Deneb, posted by muffled on April 13, 2006, at 22:34:19
Thanks for understanding me Muffled.
Deneb*
Posted by NikkiT2 on April 14, 2006, at 10:11:28
In reply to Re: My pdoc cares too much? » muffled, posted by Deneb on April 14, 2006, at 0:10:39
Would it help to rationalise it and try to understand that she cares in a *professional* way.. that the relationship she has with you is a professional relationship.
Its not the sort of "lets meet for a coffee and gossip next week" relationship, so doesn't come with any of those pressures.
Does that make sense?
Nikki x
Posted by Karolina on April 14, 2006, at 23:57:41
In reply to Re: My pdoc cares too much?, posted by NikkiT2 on April 14, 2006, at 10:11:28
deneb I can relate. My T told me while I was away that he had been thinking of me and missed me. He also always tells me how much he cares about me and encourages e-mails outside of appointments when I'm not in town; I'm the only client he e-mails with. It's kinda weird. I'm not so great with relationships either and it's conflicting at times to keep seeing it only as a therapeutic relationship when so much of what he says mirrors a real relationship.
-Karolina-
Posted by Deneb on April 16, 2006, at 17:48:28
In reply to Re: My pdoc cares too much?, posted by NikkiT2 on April 14, 2006, at 10:11:28
> Its not the sort of "lets meet for a coffee and gossip next week" relationship, so doesn't come with any of those pressures.
>
> Does that make sense?Yes, I think it makes sense. I don't need to worry about being a friend to her because she doesn't require that of me. It's a one way relationship.
Deneb*
Posted by Deneb on April 16, 2006, at 17:50:59
In reply to Re: My pdoc cares too much?, posted by Karolina on April 14, 2006, at 23:57:41
> deneb I can relate. My T told me while I was away that he had been thinking of me and missed me. He also always tells me how much he cares about me and encourages e-mails outside of appointments when I'm not in town; I'm the only client he e-mails with.
My pdoc doesn't do that. We don't exchange e-mails and she doesn't tell me about how much she cares about me. I think she does care about me though because we've worked together for a long time. I think your T is crossing some boundaries.
Deneb*
This is the end of the thread.
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