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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by All Done on March 21, 2006, at 16:59:05
bring your three and a half year old child with you to one of your sessions?
I'm going through a difficult time right now. I called my T and he talked to me for about a half an hour and then offered to see me tomorrow night, if I want. Unfortunately, my husband will be out of town, so childcare is an issue. I mentioned this and said I was going to try to work something out, but then my T suggested that, "even though it's not how we normally have sessions, you could bring your son."
There's part of me that really wants my T to meet my son. There's part of me that really needs to just see my T. But I think there's a bigger part of me that thinks I couldn't do any reasonable therapy if he was there.
I'm still trying to work out some arrangements for a babysitter, but I wondered what you think. Why would he have even suggested that? It seems a little odd to me.
Laurie
Posted by ClearSkies on March 21, 2006, at 17:04:50
In reply to Would you ever..., posted by All Done on March 21, 2006, at 16:59:05
I would seek shelter for my son.
And accept any cosequences.CS
Posted by Dinah on March 21, 2006, at 17:59:04
In reply to Would you ever..., posted by All Done on March 21, 2006, at 16:59:05
I'd call one of those bonded agencies if nothing else is available.
I brought my son with me once when he was a pre-walker, maybe about eight months old, when my plans fell through at the last minute (with my therapist's permission). Clearly he couldn't understand a word we said, but I kept the conversation purely superficial anyway. It just didn't feel right.
Might I assume your therapist doesn't have kids?
Posted by LadyBug on March 21, 2006, at 18:39:30
In reply to Would you ever..., posted by All Done on March 21, 2006, at 16:59:05
I would try to find a sitter. Your focus would be on your son because of his age. My T. has a play room that has two doors. I've had my kids go in there a time or two when I had to bring them. They were older and could come down the hall to knock on the door if they needed me. I took my daughter with me once when she was sick. She got bored in the play room so she came and sat on my lap towards the end of the session. But we talked about her and her broken arm at the time. I thought those cute minutes with her was good for my T. to evaluate me and my mothering skills. I was a dang nice mom when my kids were little. Still am, it's just not as fun. Teen agers drive ya insane!!!
If you can't find a sitter, then I probably wouldn't go to the session and he should understand. Otherwise, the phone might have to work this time for you.
LadyBug
Posted by annierose on March 21, 2006, at 18:40:01
In reply to Would you ever..., posted by All Done on March 21, 2006, at 16:59:05
I agree with the others. Especially at 3+, he does understand lots, and knows when his mom is upset and that would upset him more.
I think you need to trust your instincts here. It would be different than therapy. Instead of the focus being on you and your feelings, it would be on that cute little guy you brought with you.
If I lived closer, I would be happy to help out. I know that desperate feeling of needing to go, and desperate to find a baby sitter. I hope you find someone to help you.
Posted by annierose on March 21, 2006, at 19:37:57
In reply to Re: Would you ever..., posted by annierose on March 21, 2006, at 18:40:01
That was a very kind and generous offer. Your T sounds very special!
Posted by fairywings on March 21, 2006, at 19:49:48
In reply to Would you ever..., posted by All Done on March 21, 2006, at 16:59:05
Boy, do I know this problem! I have a son just a little younger. My guess is your T knew you needed to talk - since he spent 1/2 hour w/you on the phone, and thought even if you had to bring your son it might be beneficial to you.
If it were me, I'd have to guage how the topics might affect my son - mine it wouldn't at all. How my son would behave - he'd pull the office apart - which would stress me out too much. And how beneficial it would be to me to go to an appt. and have my son there - that depends on how badly I needed an appt. If I were desparate, I'd go. If I could wait till my husband got home, or I had a sitter, I guess I'd wait.
I hope you can find a sitter, so you can go and get some work done. I'm coming up on this same issue in a few weeks when all my normal sitters will be gone, and I have an appt.
I'd be glad if my T ever offered this option bec. we saw a T a couple of years ago, and she told us NOT to bring our son! I was really offended, and quit bec. he was just a baby.
fw
Posted by fallsfall on March 21, 2006, at 20:10:28
In reply to Re: Would you ever... ? All Done, posted by fairywings on March 21, 2006, at 19:49:48
If you have a younger "sitter" available (8 - 10 years old), you could bring BOTH of them, and have them play in the waiting room. If they had a problem they could knock.
I think I wouldn't be very open with my kid in the room.
Ask his friends' mothers for suggestions, ask at his nursery school?
Posted by fairywings on March 21, 2006, at 20:36:20
In reply to Re: Would you ever... » fairywings, posted by fallsfall on March 21, 2006, at 20:10:28
> If you have a younger "sitter" available (8 - 10 years old), you could bring BOTH of them, and have them play in the waiting room. If they had a problem they could knock.
>
> I think I wouldn't be very open with my kid in the room.
>
> Ask his friends' mothers for suggestions, ask at his nursery school?
Our toddler is SO "active" that I dread taking him to any of our other kids appts - I have trouble chasing him and getting him to play w/o a huge commotion. I wish I could have a mommy's helper watch him, but it would be too much for a child that age. He can be too much for teenagers sometimes. My husband and I have even had to cancel plans bec. he's had particularly bad days - where I wouldn't feel comfortable with his safety with another person. He has good days and bad days. It's gotten better as he gets older, he understands more, but it's gotten worse too bec. he knows how to get things he shouldn't have, how to climb, and he's more physical. I'm sure by the time he's 5 this will all be in the past. Thanks for the suggestion though - with my other kids it would have worked like a charm.fw
Posted by Daisym on March 21, 2006, at 23:36:37
In reply to Would you ever..., posted by All Done on March 21, 2006, at 16:59:05
Depends on why you need your therapist. If there is a specific, work related issue, I might chance it. Anything more personal, I wouldn't.
If your therapist is OK with phone calls, and you can't find someone, how about a phone session when the little guy is settled into bed or with a movie? Just a thought...
Posted by All Done on March 22, 2006, at 1:54:27
In reply to Re: Would you ever... » All Done, posted by Daisym on March 21, 2006, at 23:36:37
Thanks, everyone. I think I pretty much knew it wouldn't be a great idea to bring him even though I kind of want to. Maybe on a "better" day when I'm not so anxious about I don't know what.
I'm guessing my T offered because he knows I feel like I need to see him and if this was the only way I could, he wanted me to know it would be okay. I appreciate that he offered. I also appreciate that he spent half an hour on the phone with me today. And I love that he didn't seem bothered by my day of odd, hysterical phone messages.
Dinah, he has at least one son, who's almost a teenager, I believe. And he does a bit of work with little kids (at least one day a week) at a daycare center. That said, I'd have to ask if he would charge $100 or $200, if I brought my son with me. ;)
I'm guessing you'll all be happy to hear my best friend from high school, who happens to live near my T's office, is going to babysit. My son should be happy to visit his "Auntie" and play with her cats. Plus, he'll get yet another chance to look at the buildings downtown.
And I'm going to get to see my very special T. (I can almost feel the relief already.)
Laurie
Posted by annierose on March 22, 2006, at 6:20:11
In reply to Re: Would you ever..., posted by All Done on March 22, 2006, at 1:54:27
Posted by fallsfall on March 22, 2006, at 7:54:39
In reply to Re: Would you ever..., posted by All Done on March 22, 2006, at 1:54:27
Posted by Dinah on March 22, 2006, at 9:23:01
In reply to Re: Would you ever..., posted by All Done on March 22, 2006, at 1:54:27
I'm so happy it worked out. :)
And he is a great therapist if he knew what he was getting into.
Posted by fairywings on March 22, 2006, at 16:31:39
In reply to Re: Would you ever..., posted by All Done on March 22, 2006, at 1:54:27
This is the end of the thread.
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