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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by living06 on March 19, 2006, at 15:42:42
I had a dream a few weeks ago about my T, i have had these transference feelings for her for almost a year now and at this point they seem ot be geting stronger. I am somewhat confused though and need some advice here, she knows of my transference with her. since Christmas when I have been in to see her each time when it is time ot go she gives me a big hug and latley it has been a kiss on the cheek. my question is does anything think that she could be having counter transference?
Posted by Dinah on March 19, 2006, at 16:16:36
In reply to help please, posted by living06 on March 19, 2006, at 15:42:42
Have you read the book "In Session: The Bond Between Women and their Therapists"? It's a great book that helps put our feelings about our therapists in context.
Posted by living06 on March 19, 2006, at 17:04:03
In reply to Re: help please » living06, posted by Dinah on March 19, 2006, at 16:16:36
> Have you read the book "In Session: The Bond Between Women and their Therapists"? It's a great book that helps put our feelings about our therapists in context.
yes I have but i still feel for her and i dont know if she is suffereing from counter transference just wish I knew if she was because i dont know the signs of it
Posted by Dinah on March 19, 2006, at 17:13:24
In reply to Re: help please, posted by living06 on March 19, 2006, at 17:04:03
It's very hard to say. Some therapists, particularly women, are more prone to hugging than others.
I think it would be fair to tell her if her behavior makes you feel uncomfortable or if you feel that it encourages your feelings for her in ways you don't think are healthy. I think it would be fair to ask her about it.
Posted by special_k??? on March 19, 2006, at 19:02:57
In reply to Re: help please » living06, posted by Dinah on March 19, 2006, at 17:13:24
yeah. one of my t's was a very huggy type.
i guess... maybe you could talk about how you feel?
maybe?
Posted by LadyBug on March 19, 2006, at 20:49:25
In reply to help please, posted by living06 on March 19, 2006, at 15:42:42
My T won't hug me, never. I've wanted a hug a few times but it's against her boundaries. I think I'd love a hug every now and then but, oh well. And a kiss on the cheek??? I'm not even sure about that one. I think that would freak me out. Maybe if it was a family member, that would make it ok. I wouldn't even want a good friend to do that.... a hug is plenty good. Talk to her about it. You don't need to say one way or the other if you like it. Find out "why"???
LadyBug
Posted by Racer on March 20, 2006, at 0:43:42
In reply to help please, posted by living06 on March 19, 2006, at 15:42:42
That would definitely make me uncomfortable, and I'm actually feeling pretty uncomfortable hearing about it happening to you. I think that sounds as though she's crossing some pretty important boundaries -- and not just your personal boundaries.
I don't mean that you need to have this huge wall between T and client, with no self-disclosure. Not at all. My T has told our group about her own struggles with eating and weight issues, for instance. She's also told me, in individual sessions, when she was feeling an emotion coming off me -- I think that might be some sort of countertransference? Dunno. I'm not up on that. I would bet that she'd even hug me, if I really wanted it.
But I trust her not to initiate that sort of physical contact. Because I think that really is inappropriate.
I do think this is something for you to bring up with her -- it sounds as though something's going on, and that there's a slippery slope you both are starting to slide on.
Good luck, and know that we're all here for support if you need it.
Posted by Frida on March 21, 2006, at 9:06:21
In reply to help please, posted by living06 on March 19, 2006, at 15:42:42
Hi,
I think it is different in each situation,and it's hard to say based on only this..
My t always greets me with a kiss on the cheek and I greet her goodbye that way too but because it is common here where I live.
She's given me a hug at the end of a session sometimes, especially if it has been difficult in some way. I don't know if she'd hug me at other times, but I've received a hug at the end of a session, and it was reassuring to me.
Maybe you can talk to her about it?do you feel unsafe or not comfortable?Good luck
Frida
Posted by milly on March 21, 2006, at 10:31:09
In reply to help please, posted by living06 on March 19, 2006, at 15:42:42
I think I would be uncomfortable with that (even though I would desperatly love a hug from my T but on my terms)especially as the physical contact seems to be increasing.
If you can maybe try and talk about it, not easy I know
All the best, milly
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