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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Racer on March 11, 2006, at 17:35:11
I know -- and you're right. Think about it: this is a forum for those with psychiatric symptoms, right? So when you say, "She's absolutely *obsessed* with this thing about grades," remember that you mean that in a more technical sense...
Anyway, I was thinking about it today, about why I'm so insecure about getting good grades, and that usually that has something to do with needing to be good enough for people to like me. Well, obsessing about grades certainly ain't no attractive habit, is it? So it's not only distressing for me, but it's totally counterproductive, too.
Who has that Calgon?
Posted by Tamar on March 11, 2006, at 18:02:08
In reply to Ugh -- the worst part of this whole grade thing, posted by Racer on March 11, 2006, at 17:35:11
> I know -- and you're right. Think about it: this is a forum for those with psychiatric symptoms, right? So when you say, "She's absolutely *obsessed* with this thing about grades," remember that you mean that in a more technical sense...
>
> Anyway, I was thinking about it today, about why I'm so insecure about getting good grades, and that usually that has something to do with needing to be good enough for people to like me. Well, obsessing about grades certainly ain't no attractive habit, is it? So it's not only distressing for me, but it's totally counterproductive, too.
>
> Who has that Calgon?Hey, I’m a teacher. I always appreciate it when my students care about their grades. But you know what? I also love the students who don’t give a sh*t about their grades and are spending most of their university time partying. And the thing that warms my heart the most (as a teacher) is when students show an interest in the ideas we’re talking about, whether or not they’re particularly bright students. To me it’s all about the interest. So I don’t think your concern with grades is so terrible, but I also think it won’t necessarily give you what you want.
And also… I don’t think obsessing about grades is an *unattractive* habit. Unattractive habits are things like picking your nose in public or making fun of people who are disadvantaged in some way. Obsessing about grades is a perfectly understandable habit. I think as long as you want to do well for yourself, that’s fine.
Maybe this is the wrong thing to say, but I don’t think your concern about your grades is counterproductive when it comes to wanting people to like you. If you were less obsessed about grades I would like you just the same and I would also be pleased that you were less distressed. I like you because you are articulate and interesting and compassionate and helpful and fun. If you got an E (sorry for the uncomfortable image) I would still like you just as much for all the same reasons.
I work in a university: I come into contact every day with colleagues who have only ever gotten As. Some of them are astonishingly dull, many are very self-obsessed and a few of them are downright corrupt. I can assure you that academic perfection isn’t all it’s cracked up to be!
Tamar
Posted by fallsfall on March 11, 2006, at 18:56:13
In reply to Ugh -- the worst part of this whole grade thing, posted by Racer on March 11, 2006, at 17:35:11
When do you get the test back? Waiting is so hard.
Posted by rubenstein on March 11, 2006, at 19:38:42
In reply to Ugh -- the worst part of this whole grade thing, posted by Racer on March 11, 2006, at 17:35:11
I have totally the same issue. And the stakes keep getting higher for I am now in a doctoral program at one of the best music schools. I never thought I could get this far, and yet I keep pushing and pushing, and my health just keeps getting worse and worse. Last week I decided, health first, hope it lasts. Take care racer.
rubenstein
I know -- and you're right. Think about it: this is a forum for those with psychiatric symptoms, right? So when you say, "She's absolutely *obsessed* with this thing about grades," remember that you mean that in a more technical sense...
>
> Anyway, I was thinking about it today, about why I'm so insecure about getting good grades, and that usually that has something to do with needing to be good enough for people to like me. Well, obsessing about grades certainly ain't no attractive habit, is it? So it's not only distressing for me, but it's totally counterproductive, too.
>
> Who has that Calgon?
Posted by Racer on March 11, 2006, at 19:50:47
In reply to Re: Ugh -- the worst part of this whole grade thing » Racer, posted by fallsfall on March 11, 2006, at 18:56:13
> When do you get the test back? Waiting is so hard.
This school has an online system, so we can get our results pretty quickly. And I had no idea how to navigate it, but have now figured out a lot of it. And not only do I know my results, I know that I am in the top 8 of 160 students -- and I wish people would tell me I have to work harder, it just reinforces my obsessiveness -- and I know that I am above the class average. I know how low the lowest grade was -- and I think it was below chance? What would chance be? Slightly more than 1/3? It's chance or below, then...Anyway, I know my results, I did well, I did better than I expected to. Even though I walked out pretty confident -- confident enough to call a friend and tell her I thought I did well and only questioned my answers to a couple of questions -- I was pretty much convinced that I missed a couple that I apparently got right.
And the waiting was hard. Thanks for understanding
Posted by TherapyGirl on March 11, 2006, at 20:08:14
In reply to LoL! » fallsfall, posted by Racer on March 11, 2006, at 19:50:47
Congratulations, Racer!!!!!!!!
Posted by Gee on March 11, 2006, at 22:57:08
In reply to Re: LoL!, posted by TherapyGirl on March 11, 2006, at 20:08:14
You did it! That's awesome!! Congrats!
Posted by Dinah on March 12, 2006, at 10:09:15
In reply to LoL! » fallsfall, posted by Racer on March 11, 2006, at 19:50:47
Congratulations. I had faith that you'd do well.
You sound so much like me after a test. :)
Posted by agent858 on March 15, 2006, at 4:44:09
In reply to Re: LoL! » Racer, posted by Dinah on March 12, 2006, at 10:09:15
:-) well done.
i know what you mean... i obsess about grades too.
in fact... obsessing about grades is what put me in hospital maybe... three times. i'd sit a test and get myself so wound up i'd end up being hospitalised shortly afterwards... then my grades would come back and i'd done really well. but i was still in terror...
it was hard for me to get through a semester. obsessing about my grades... but i managed. and i did really well. but... i put myself in hospital a number of times.
over the years... i have obsessed less. and my grades... have come down. they are still fine, they are. but not as good as they used to be.
hmm.
i worry about this.
finding the balance... tis hard for me...
i should be working harder now than i ever have before... but i also can't afford to put myself in hospital :-(
i guess i just wanted to say that i understand the idea of obsessing... i do.
This is the end of the thread.
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