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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by orchid on February 20, 2006, at 2:52:49
Since I have not been in any therapy for quite some time and completely off of psychological digging and healing myself for a few months, I have some different perspective on therapy now than what I used to have before. I thought I could share.
From my experience, therapy as it is, doesn't really help much. IT helps to solve some underlying issues and problems, but therapy and therapists just cannot make a person happy and peaceful. IT is a fallacy. What really helps is social network, and other supporting system like religious beliefs etc. Therapy is only of minimal help. I think I have used therapy and therapists to a very great extent before. But at the end of the day, I just was not able to be happy. Only after changing my external circumstance and developing more of a religious thinking, that I finally seem to be having peace. In fact, too much of therapy and constant discussion about it actually triggered a lot of negative feelings and pain. But living positively and associating with lot of people and doing other positive work is what finally brings me peace.
The amount of overwhelming dependance on therapists is also not right - from what I have come to think of. They are just humans and cannot really help a person with the limited resource that they have.
I am not sure why I am posting this post or if it makes too much of sense to anyone. But maybe if someone agrees with my point of view, they could try to use therapy and the dependance on therapists only as a support and not entirely depend on it to make them allright and happy.
Again, I am not making universal claim, and it is all only my perspective.
Posted by Johnny's Fav Girl on February 20, 2006, at 9:11:06
In reply to A little perspective on therapy and therapists, posted by orchid on February 20, 2006, at 2:52:49
Very interesting. I agree with very much of what you say, although I do believe there are people who would not do well withoutout their T.
You are absolutly right. they are only human, limited resourses, maybe, but many have natural insight or were really meant to do the job. I have in the past had experiences with one that I felt right away was wrong for me, (bring out the neg) as you said, and dropped him promptly.
I have seen different ones over the years, for diff reasons, the one I am with now is so positive, kind, and encouraging I could stay with her forever. I have not seen her in about four months as I thought i'd take a break, but I see her next week.
My social network is deffinatly my savior. I keep a possitive attitude most of the time because there are people around me who need that from me, and this world is give and recieve....E
Posted by Rigby on February 20, 2006, at 11:35:01
In reply to A little perspective on therapy and therapists, posted by orchid on February 20, 2006, at 2:52:49
Hi Orchid,
I think you are so right on. If therapy is working, I think, you should begin to develop relationships and attachments in your real life that feed you and make you feel good. If therapy *becomes* your life that's very tough. It's a fine balance, I think, for a therapist to be kind and supportive *without* becoming your be-all-end-all. Also, it's important for some therapists to encourage transference to get you to work out some deep issues but that can be a slippery slope as I think some people can get stuck and stay in transference--which can be very, very painful.
I'm working towards termination now; I feel that I've accomplished what I've wanted with therapy and that my life is has a solid support network. And it's good to get your perspective on what is working for you. Thanks for posting!
Rigby
Posted by annierose on February 20, 2006, at 20:47:30
In reply to A little perspective on therapy and therapists, posted by orchid on February 20, 2006, at 2:52:49
I'm sorry that you do not feel that therapy helped you. Just like clients are different in their needs and wants, therapists and therapies are different in their approaches, personalities and the like.
I don't think any one person can "make" someone happy. Yes, that must come from within. But with the helpful understanding of a trained professional, a therapist can help untangle the mess our brains have weaved.
Without a doubt, my therapist helps me lead a more productive, happier life. My husband, children, friends, co-workers -- in different ways have commented how they have seen positive changes in me and my decisions and how I handle situations.
I'm not sure how you defind "dependance". I am strongly attached to my T but I am not dependant upon her.
I am so glad she is a part of my life.
Posted by madeline on February 21, 2006, at 6:42:56
In reply to Re: A little perspective on therapy and therapists » orchid, posted by annierose on February 20, 2006, at 20:47:30
annie,
I totally agree with you. Therapy has helped me in immeasurable ways. With my therapist I have felt loved and understood and respected. I never thought that I could feel this way from another actual human person.
The positive changes are obvious, I have let go of so much rage, I am normalizing relations with my family and I feel closer to the real me than I have ever felt.
I feel absolutely safe depending on my therapist and I know, that even if he did let me down, it would be okay. To me, that is healthy.
I don't even think I was alive until I started therapy.
M
Posted by orchid on February 21, 2006, at 8:48:22
In reply to Re: A little perspective on therapy and therapists » orchid, posted by annierose on February 20, 2006, at 20:47:30
What I was saying was that therapy alone will not help. It needs to be supplemented by social networks, external changes etc.
Posted by orchid on February 21, 2006, at 9:03:39
In reply to A little perspective on therapy and therapists, posted by orchid on February 20, 2006, at 2:52:49
Since people seem to be interpreting it to be that I was saying therapy or therapists are not helpful at all - that is not what I was saying.
What I was saying was therapy and therapists alone will not make some one happy. And that overwhelming and complete dependance on therapists is wrong.
It needs to be augmented with other changes and social networks etc. I have immensely benefited from therapy - but not when I was dependant on therapy and therapist alone. But when I finally combined what I learnt from therapy with other positive things in life.
Posted by Rigby on February 21, 2006, at 10:10:49
In reply to Add on, posted by orchid on February 21, 2006, at 9:03:39
Hi Orchid,
What you said and are saying here again completely resonate with me. Good to clarify though and it's also an interesting discussion to have. I believe the same thing--that therapy has been hugely helpful by opening me up and getting me to build my outside world. I think it's tricky though because when you are hurting and vulnerable it's easier to want to *just* become completely involved in therapy and with your therapist--at least it was for me. A good therapist will steer you away from that--will encourage and be positive about new connections in your life--will *not* want to be your only confidante, etc. A book I read called, "When To Say Goodbye To Your Therapist" was really helpful in making these types of points.
Rigby
> Since people seem to be interpreting it to be that I was saying therapy or therapists are not helpful at all - that is not what I was saying.
>
> What I was saying was therapy and therapists alone will not make some one happy. And that overwhelming and complete dependance on therapists is wrong.
>
> It needs to be augmented with other changes and social networks etc. I have immensely benefited from therapy - but not when I was dependant on therapy and therapist alone. But when I finally combined what I learnt from therapy with other positive things in life.
Posted by happyflower on February 21, 2006, at 10:23:03
In reply to Re: Add on » orchid, posted by Rigby on February 21, 2006, at 10:10:49
Rigby,I would love to find a copy of that book, it might help me.
Posted by happyflower on February 21, 2006, at 10:28:55
In reply to Re: A little perspective on therapy and therapists » annierose, posted by madeline on February 21, 2006, at 6:42:56
I think in a lot of cases someone entering therapy has no other social or family support system. Their T is all they have, which is better than nobody at all, but for me therapy has taught me how rich and fullfilling life can be with a connections with other people, because of the relationship I developed with my T .
I think if I didn't have therapy, I would still be isolated. I agree people need more than their therapist to make them happy. In fact nobody can make you happy, it is something only you can do for yourself.
But if all you have is your therapist for your support, that is okay, in the beginning, but eventually your T will help you broaden your support system. This is my experience anyways.
Posted by Rigby on February 21, 2006, at 10:54:07
In reply to Re: Add on » Rigby, posted by happyflower on February 21, 2006, at 10:23:03
Hi HF,
It's by Catherine Johnson--I got it on Amazon, used, pretty cheap. I'm guessing you could probably get it at the library too (I'm trying to use the library more now!)
Happy Reading!
Rigby
> Rigby,I would love to find a copy of that book, it might help me.
>
Posted by 10derHeart on February 21, 2006, at 13:29:40
In reply to Book: When To Say Goodbye To Your Therapist, posted by Rigby on February 21, 2006, at 10:54:07
> It's by Catherine Johnson--I got it on Amazon, used, pretty cheap.
Rigby
> > Rigby,I would love to find a copy of that book, it might help me."When To Say Goodbye to Your Therapist"
Posted by Rigby on February 22, 2006, at 19:35:18
In reply to That's the beauty of double double quotes...., posted by 10derHeart on February 21, 2006, at 13:29:40
nm
Posted by 10derHeart on February 23, 2006, at 1:18:31
In reply to Thanks 10derHeart! » 10derHeart, posted by Rigby on February 22, 2006, at 19:35:18
This is the end of the thread.
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