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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Danish3133 on February 1, 2006, at 18:21:42
Ok, so recently my friend gave me a meaningful birthday present that reminded me of my first session with me therapist. I am no longer allowed to see her on an individual basis anymore, however, she is the therapist in my group therapy so I still get to see her. Anyway, I emailed her that I wanted to show her the gift since if meant a lot to me and reminded me of our first session. She emailed me back saying that I should bring it into group so it would give more information about me to the group. I was insulted!! This was something I shared with her, no one else in the group would understand. I wrote her back saying that "Actually, it is not that big of a deal so lets just forget it." I was hoping to get a response back but have not gotten one. Do you think she would ignore my response or would she want to talk about this in person?? I mean, I think she could sense I was angry, so would she just leave me like that or would she want to talk about it with me??? HELPPPP PLEASE!!!!
Posted by muffled on February 1, 2006, at 19:47:36
In reply to Should I get a response from T, posted by Danish3133 on February 1, 2006, at 18:21:42
I dunno. My T wouldn't call.
Mebbe you could see her right after group and show her?
Guess you goto tell her how you feel. They don't know lotsa times less you tell them.
You could bring the whole thing up in group cuz it might help others too. Controversy is often very educational.
Best of luck t'ya,
Muffled
Posted by fairywings on February 1, 2006, at 20:48:33
In reply to Should I get a response from T, posted by Danish3133 on February 1, 2006, at 18:21:42
You said you "can't" see her individually anymore. Is there a reason?
If I told my T to forget it, he wouldn't call me, and he'd leave it up to me to bring it up again. Could she be trying to foster a sense of responsibility for your feelings or reactions? Nothing wrong with telling her how her response made you feel, and that this was something special you wanted to share with her, not the group.
fw
Posted by fallsfall on February 1, 2006, at 20:51:40
In reply to Should I get a response from T, posted by Danish3133 on February 1, 2006, at 18:21:42
It doesn't surprise me that a group therapist would say that. They try to keep everything in the group - and try not to have things happening outside the group. I can see why you are hurt, though.
I think that she is serious about you talking about it in group. In order for a group to be effective, you need to talk about things that are important to you. This often involves giving the group some background about why it is important to you.
This is a hard situation.
Posted by Danish3133 on February 2, 2006, at 5:19:50
In reply to Re: Should I get a response from T » Danish3133, posted by fallsfall on February 1, 2006, at 20:51:40
I can't see her anymore because it is a college setting and students are only allowed a certain amount of visits. Unfortunately, we were working very well together, and I was doing much better. And I am not sure if I should bring in my present now because of the email I had sent her. I feel like I was trying to make a point and if I end up bringing it in, the way I felt about it and how important it was to me will just be ignored. Either that or I could just be stubborn, I have no idea. But even still, I really don't think I wanted to show the group that, it really wouldn't have any meaning for them like it would for me and her.
Posted by Danish3133 on February 2, 2006, at 5:22:49
In reply to Re: Should I get a response from T, posted by Danish3133 on February 2, 2006, at 5:19:50
Also, she knows that I won't bring up any of my true feelings. I never do, and that is part of the reason I was in therapy. It is funny because we were just trying to work on that when our therapy had to end.
Posted by pegasus on February 2, 2006, at 9:11:24
In reply to Re: Should I get a response from T, posted by Danish3133 on February 2, 2006, at 5:22:49
My T wouldn't have called. Like everyone else said, he would leave it up to me.
Can you maybe bring up the issue in group, but not the present itself. I mean, talk about how you asked to show tje present to the T, and she said you should bring it to group, and then you were insulted. And it doesn't make sense to you to bring it to the group, because it was a personal thing between you and the T. That sounds like it might be an interesting thing to talk about in the group. They'd all have experience with the same T, so they might be able to either validate your feelings, or tell you how they see the situation differently.
Just a thought. You said you have trouble talking about your true feelings, so maybe this wouldn't be possible for you.
peg
Posted by Danish3133 on February 2, 2006, at 9:22:33
In reply to Re: Should I get a response from T » Danish3133, posted by pegasus on February 2, 2006, at 9:11:24
Well, it would be ok to talk about this issue with the group, however, my T is the facilitator for the group, and I feel like that would be a little weird...
Posted by Racer on February 2, 2006, at 13:21:57
In reply to Re: Should I get a response from T, posted by Danish3133 on February 2, 2006, at 9:22:33
I was about to give the same advice -- bring up the ISSUE, not the present, in group. And I think it's good advice, too.
As for your T facilitating the group, that isn't really the issue. You're not going to be criticising her, you're going to be talking about how YOU felt in reaction to her limit setting. (That's what it is -- limit setting. Sad but necessary, which probably someone else can explain better.)
Good luck with it, and let us know how it turns out.
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