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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by antigua on January 31, 2006, at 7:48:40
It was a long, emotionally draining weekend, but it all went as well as could be expected.
I was going to tell her on Sunday, but I couldn't wait so when we went out for coffee on Saturday, I told her I had something I wanted to tell her. Her face immediately seized up w/fear, and I told her it was o.k., I wasn't sick or anything (she HATES bad news).
I started by telling her that I always had bad drinking episodes around her visits (she has been sober for 15 years or so and has really pushed me toward sobriety) and I really wanted to stop that, and that it had taken me a long time to understand (through therapy) why I did this.
So, I told her I felt there had always been a block between us, since I was kid, and that I was afraid that I couldn't talk/tell her about this, because she wouldn't love me or abandon me if I told her.
And then I told her. Very simply, no details, that my father had sexually abused me when I was little. She held my hand and looked at me with as much love as she could. She told me how sorry she was that this had happened.
We didn't talk much the first day, but over the next several days, she brought it up a few times. (I told her she could say anything she wanted, it was no longer a taboo subject.)
The second day she told me she would have killed him if she had known, and that most surely she would have called the police. She said I could blame her, she would understand, but I don't. She also apologized for sending me back to live w/him when I was a teenager, and that was a big surprise and very welcome apology.
So, it's out there. She was very supportive and I felt the love I needed. I guess there isn't a block there anymore, but it will take a while for it to truly dissolve.
I couldn't have had a better response. And I've been fine since I've been back--no drinking, no acting out, etc.
It's a major milestone and I'm not sure where I go from here, but I know I just have to sit w/this for a while, the shock, and to absorb it slowly.
Thank you all so much for your support. I read all of your messages before I told her and I felt had this huge band of support behind me.
You are the greatest.
love,
antigua
Posted by milly on January 31, 2006, at 8:11:22
In reply to I'm back!, posted by antigua on January 31, 2006, at 7:48:40
I so wanted to wish you luck but as I'm a newbie I was scared it would seem intrusive! However for some reason I couldn't stop thinking about you this weekend and was hoping and hoping it would be psitive for you, so glad to read your post today. Well done it was VERY brave
Milly
Posted by Dinah on January 31, 2006, at 8:52:19
In reply to I'm back!, posted by antigua on January 31, 2006, at 7:48:40
I'm so glad it went well for you!
Posted by gardenergirl on January 31, 2006, at 11:21:43
In reply to I'm back!, posted by antigua on January 31, 2006, at 7:48:40
Wow! Tears of joy for you.
I'm so glad it went so well. Thanks for sharing such an important part of your process with us.
:)
gg
Posted by happyflower on January 31, 2006, at 11:43:42
In reply to Re: I'm back! » antigua, posted by gardenergirl on January 31, 2006, at 11:21:43
I am happy for you, you should be proud of yourself! :) I am.
Posted by B2chica on January 31, 2006, at 11:49:18
In reply to I'm back!, posted by antigua on January 31, 2006, at 7:48:40
I'm SO PROUD OF YOU!!!
and what a wonderful response you were given. but no matter what, the point is you did it, you told her how you felt and what happened. do you feel lighter now that this is out?
How Great!
big hugs(((((((((((((((antigua))))))))))))))
Posted by gee on January 31, 2006, at 17:30:10
In reply to Re: I'm back!, posted by B2chica on January 31, 2006, at 11:49:18
I'm so happy it went so well for you!!!
Posted by Poet on January 31, 2006, at 21:02:35
In reply to I'm back!, posted by antigua on January 31, 2006, at 7:48:40
Wow, what an absolutely positive experience. Be proud of yourself. This milestone sends you ahead more miles than I can see with a telescope.
Poet
Posted by fairywings on February 1, 2006, at 10:00:07
In reply to I'm back!, posted by antigua on January 31, 2006, at 7:48:40
I'm glad it went so well. It took a lot of courage to tell her.
fw
Posted by Damos on February 1, 2006, at 15:21:12
In reply to I'm back!, posted by antigua on January 31, 2006, at 7:48:40
Thanks for letting us be a part of something so big for you. I'm so glad it went so well and hope it's just the start of lot more good things to come.
So very proud of you, that took a lot of courage.
(((((Antigua)))))
Posted by ClearSkies on February 2, 2006, at 13:41:55
In reply to I'm back!, posted by antigua on January 31, 2006, at 7:48:40
I'm so glad this went well for you!
Clearskies
This is the end of the thread.
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