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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Pfinstegg on January 25, 2006, at 20:09:47
She is so great. We haven't actually done any EMDR, as yet, and probably won't for a while, as i have complex PTSD, with a lot of long-enduring childhood trauma, and she, my analyst and I have not yet started to think about how we should focus on that. For now, we are doing what appears on the surface to be ultra-simple things- but they are really helpful. When I feel very anxious, or in pain, she asks me to use all of my senses to ground myself in the present. Today, she asked me to choose five things in her office to look at and focus on. Then we did five things that I could hear, then five I could touch. I was walking around her office, feeling cushions, lamps, paintings. By then we had gotten to smell and taste- but there wasn't much of either of those, at that moment. She wanted a lot of feedback about how i was feeling in all the parts of my body at each step- what i felt to be helpful, what not (or less so). The way she thinks, people with PTSD tend to spend much of their lives in partial (or sometimes total) flashbacks)- not so much flashbacks to specific experiences, as emotional flashbacks to terrifying feeling-states. She is trying to help my brain learn that these things are not happening now. I of course know that they aren't, but it became much clearer to me that a major part of my brain cannot distinguish past from present. That's what we are working on.
I used some of these techniques, as best I could, from time to time throughout the rest of the day, and it was a so much better day. I can see that I will be able to gain some control over my most agonizing feelings, even as I explore their causes with my own analyst.She's trained as a psychoanalyst, too, and the communication seems to be excellent between her and my own analyst. That is very comforting.
She told me, as I was leaving, "remember that you are an intelligent mammal, and need to live in the present, using all your senses. When you are upset, look around you, hear, touch, smell and taste everything that you can, just as it is happening. We will help you with the past."
I'd love to hear some reactions to this- and to find out if anyone else has experienced anything similiar to it...
Posted by crazy teresa on January 25, 2006, at 20:42:47
In reply to The EMDR therapist.., posted by Pfinstegg on January 25, 2006, at 20:09:47
Posted by ClearSkies on January 25, 2006, at 21:13:51
In reply to The EMDR therapist.., posted by Pfinstegg on January 25, 2006, at 20:09:47
It does sound like you have a really careful and caring EMDR therapist. I had 5 sessions with mine before we did the actual process.
Although we did not go through the "here and now" experience of being asked to notice specific items in the room and how my body was feeling at that time, what would happen after an EMDR session was that my perception of my surroundings, while I drove home, we really heightened. I was cautioned to go home and to bed after an appointment so I would not be overwhelmed.
I think if we had gone through that separation of past and present impressions that this effect might have been lessened. I actually found it exhilarating as I felt very in tune with the places I drove past on the way home.ClearSkies
Posted by sleepygirl on January 25, 2006, at 21:19:46
In reply to The EMDR therapist.., posted by Pfinstegg on January 25, 2006, at 20:09:47
Oh! that sounds great! I'm so glad for you. I've never done EMDR, but I've read the book ;-).
What you've described really seems to address that "not feeling grounded" feeling (which I happen to feel a lot of the time).
Good for you. I wish you much success. :-)
Posted by happyflower on January 26, 2006, at 0:44:45
In reply to Re: The EMDR therapist.. » Pfinstegg, posted by sleepygirl on January 25, 2006, at 21:19:46
It sounds like they are preparing you for the EMDR work that you will be doing. I also was suffering from PTSD a year ago, and EMDR helped me so much, it changed my life with only one session. It is intense, so you do need to know how to ground yourself in order to feel safe.
Will your therapist be in the room with you when you do the EMDR? My therapist is my EMDR specialist. He has been doing it for over 10 years and has training in phase 2. I wish you the best, it is scary (at least for me it was), but it can make a world of difference. Can you imagaine a life without PTSD? Well I can because I am living proof! :)
Posted by Pfinstegg on January 26, 2006, at 1:15:08
In reply to Re: The EMDR therapist.., posted by happyflower on January 26, 2006, at 0:44:45
It was in part because of your experience, Happyflower, that I wanted to find an EMDR therapist. You had given some details of a terrible situation with your mother, but you seemed to be flourishing in your therapy and your life- as if the trauma were really behind you in a way I haven't been able to accomplish in my regular therapy, although there are many so valuable things that have happened there. You're right- she is just teaching me to ground myself in the present, and feel that I have a better abiity to moderate my emotions, before we actually do the EMDR. She has completed her training in it, and really seems to know what she is doing.
Thank you for your response- and to the others who responded also. I appreciate the encouragement more than I can say. It will be a while, but I hope to be able to give the same wonderful report that you have!
She said something interesting today- she thinks that fearfulness (anxiety) comes from abuse, whether emotional, physical or sexual, but that real panic comes from very early experiences of abandonment, and also from feeling emotionally abandonned by everyone when the abuse is occurring.
Posted by happyflower on January 26, 2006, at 8:59:43
In reply to Re: The EMDR therapist.., posted by Pfinstegg on January 26, 2006, at 1:15:08
I am truly touched about what you said, nobody has ever said that kind of thing to me before. I am glad it was a good influence. :)
You are right it had helped me big time, it took me a while to admit it though. I think EMDR and having a very good and experienced therapist helped me more than I ever thought possible.
Have you read any books about it? There are some amazing stories out there. EMDR.com or org is a great website that tells a lot about it.
Just go at your own pace, and you will do fine. It is hard, but it will be worth it.
Thanks for making my day! ;)
Posted by Daisym on January 27, 2006, at 11:05:08
In reply to Re: The EMDR therapist.., posted by Pfinstegg on January 26, 2006, at 1:15:08
This idea of emotional neglect and abandonment is really up for me right now. As I struggle with the things in my life that aren't going well, I have come to realize that I need to change my behavior and response in order for things to get better.
But- that might mean people will stop liking/loving me because I haven't earned their love. So they withdraw it. I can see this is an old, old feeling, set in motion when I was very young and needed to be perfect, advanced and grown up in order to have my mother's approval. The abuse falls in here too, but in a different way. I needed to do what he wanted so he would love me too. And in the end, he left anyway and my mother withdrew into herself. So nothing was enough to prevent the abandonment.
The most terrifying thing for me in being attached to my therapist is that he could withdraw his support at any time. EMDR terrifies me for two reasons: 1) What if something worse comes out and it is to much for him to handle?
2) What if it works and I don't "need" him anymore -- I lose him this way too.We've talked a lot about the fear of getting better. He said it is another defensive position for me, something else to keep the younger parts from talking too much. One part of me says, "if you tell, he will go away" -- and the internal war continues.
So, this is a long way to say that I'll be watching your experience closely and I hope it works well for you. Please keep writing about it.
Posted by Pfinstegg on January 27, 2006, at 14:13:37
In reply to Re: The EMDR therapist.. » Pfinstegg, posted by Daisym on January 27, 2006, at 11:05:08
Every feeling and fear you wrote about are mine, too. I'm very worried about getting better with the EMDR, and losing my T that way, too! He points out that I will be able to come as I feel I need to, for the rest of my/his life. This is re-assuring, but only partially!
We are really struggling with the two worst things- abandonment and abuse. If one isn't unbearable at a given moment, the other is.
I find I really like how intelligent the EMDR therapist is- and how carefully she is preparing me for it. She talks quite a bit to my regular therapist, and I trust this arrangement a lot- it feels very safe and helpful. Whereas, with the art therapist, I felt quite jealous and uneasy about their communications! Chemistry at work..I've started to look at the EMDR as a (hopefully) valuable adjunct to the ongoing treatment with my analyst. Right now, we are just doing the self-soothing exercises, so that I will have some feeling of control and self-empowerment when we do the actual EMDR, which will involve very painful stuff. I would love to keep you up to date as we go along.
Posted by gardenergirl on January 27, 2006, at 20:40:53
In reply to Re: The EMDR therapist.. » Daisym, posted by Pfinstegg on January 27, 2006, at 14:13:37
You know, my T has mentioned more than once that I need to "give up the sick role" in order to get well. That used to really offend me. It's not so offensive anymore, and I think I'm starting to do that more and more.
It's a new and scary feeling. And I haven't yet delved into what it will mean for our relationship if I am well and no longer need to come to therapy. (Ack! run away, run away, run away!)
You've worked so hard. I hope that EMDR is a useful and healing thing for you. And I believe in you and your ability to keep moving forward.
Take care,
gg
Posted by Pfinstegg on January 27, 2006, at 21:18:35
In reply to Re: The EMDR therapist.. » Pfinstegg, posted by gardenergirl on January 27, 2006, at 20:40:53
Thank you, gg. It's wonderful to get so much validation and support from you. And I notice, in other posts, that you're beginning to really feel well and confident, and thinking about (gasp!) termination, at least a bit.. That's the most wonderful news anyone can share here on PB. I hope that continues and grows.
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