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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on November 14, 2005, at 11:07:11
I'm currently doing double sessions rather than seeing my therapist twice a week. And unless I drop the sex therapist, I just can't manage spending an entire day on driving and seeing him a second time. Plus I'm a bit afraid I'd start seeing therapy as a drag, if I have to drive the boring road I'd have to drive.
But once a week therapy is just not the same. :( I was happy to hear my therapist understood it. He said that at least three quarters of the first session was spent reconnecting, and we didn't do the deep work until after that. While twice a week therapy was like getting the second part of the session for the entire time, because we didn't need to spend any time reconnecting. Since that was exactly my own assessment, it felt really good that he experienced the same thing. Sometimes therapy seems so one sided that it was reassuring that it isn't as one sided as it seems.
Posted by LadyBug on November 14, 2005, at 12:52:52
In reply to Two hour sessions vs. twice a week, posted by Dinah on November 14, 2005, at 11:07:11
If I had to drive as far as you do, I know I'd only go once a week. And I agree that part of that double seesion is going to be spent on reconnecting. I wish I could see my T. twice a week, when I have gone 2 times a week, things go much better and 3 times a week is even better when I'm stuggling.
When do you get to see him next????
I hope it feels better to you soon.
LadyBug
Posted by Dinah on November 14, 2005, at 12:54:45
In reply to Two hour sessions vs. twice a week, posted by Dinah on November 14, 2005, at 11:07:11
to keep the intensity going from one week to the next. But given that he identifies the week long absence as being a problem on his side as well, how could anything I do be of benefit?
I could journal about therapy or something, but that wouldn't help him any.
The only thing I can think of is shortening the double session by a few minutes (it's a few minutes too long anyway) and setting up a short midweek phone call instead.
Any ideas?
Posted by Dinah on November 14, 2005, at 12:56:32
In reply to Re: Two hour sessions vs. twice a week » Dinah, posted by LadyBug on November 14, 2005, at 12:52:52
I'm not driving at all right now. :) He comes into the city once a week for his own purposes, and sees me then each Sunday.
But to get full benefit out of twice a week, the second time would have to be midweek, and I am already behind in my work. I'm not sure I can justify taking an entire work day to go see him.
Posted by Shortelise on November 14, 2005, at 13:50:02
In reply to Two hour sessions vs. twice a week, posted by Dinah on November 14, 2005, at 11:07:11
Do you listen to books on tape in the car?
Posted by Poet on November 14, 2005, at 18:43:01
In reply to He wants me to come up with ideas on how, posted by Dinah on November 14, 2005, at 12:54:45
Hi Dinah,
I like the idea of shortening the double session and adding a short mid-week phone call. Then the length of time between when you talk won't be as long.
Defnitely look for books on tape for the long drive. There are a lot of comedy ones out there that you don't really have to concentrate on if your brain won't pay attention long. Though listening to a mystery or something that requires some brain attention could be helpful, too.
I only know how my brain slows down when I'm depressed, so short comedy things are the best for me to listen to.
Poet
Posted by fallsfall on November 14, 2005, at 20:01:29
In reply to He wants me to come up with ideas on how, posted by Dinah on November 14, 2005, at 12:54:45
I would be cautious about a mid-week phone call. He has shown himself to be not at his best on the phone. I would be helpful if it kept you connected, but not helpful if he pissed you off with every phone call!
I think that dedicating a whole weekday to driving 6 hours for therapy is probably not appropriate prioritization of your time.
I would also encourage you to keep seeing the sex therapist.
Could you do a video conference mid-week? So he could see you (I know you close your eyes, so the in person vs phone difference is probably more on his end than yours??)
Posted by orchid on November 14, 2005, at 22:14:37
In reply to He wants me to come up with ideas on how, posted by Dinah on November 14, 2005, at 12:54:45
A phone session seems to be a good idea. Why don't you try that?
Your idea sounds excellent.
Posted by Dinah on November 15, 2005, at 21:02:25
In reply to Re: Two hour sessions vs. twice a week » Dinah, posted by Shortelise on November 14, 2005, at 13:50:02
I've got several good ones downloaded to my ipod and I listen to them often. But I have a set of songs I like to listen to on the way to therapy to put me in the proper frame of mind.
I don't know that I can spare the time right now, though. I'm behind on work, and I'm terribly unproductive at it. I've got some deadlines at the end of the month that I'll be awfully lucky to meet. I'm trying to put in forty hour weeks and averaging more like twenty or twentyfive and can't seem to rise above that level. Even if I don't post as much on Babble. Even if... well, everything.
I'd have a hard time right now justifying taking off an entire day. Sigh.
Posted by Dinah on November 15, 2005, at 21:04:42
In reply to Re: He wants me to come up with ideas on how » Dinah, posted by Poet on November 14, 2005, at 18:43:01
I called him to suggest the midweek call, but since he didn't return my call, I must assume he didn't love the idea and wasn't eager to jump on it. :)
I ought to look for some lighter books. I do have some Brother Cadfael mysteries among the nonfiction books I generally prefer. But even those take a bit of concentration. Maybe what I need is magazines on tape. :)
Posted by Dinah on November 15, 2005, at 21:08:09
In reply to Re: He wants me to come up with ideas on how » Dinah, posted by fallsfall on November 14, 2005, at 20:01:29
Yeah, I really can't justify the time. :(
If I were sure I really wanted to connect, having him call once a week to make me really mad might well do it. Anger is a great connection tightener. :)
But I'm not quite sure that I want to be that firmly attached. After all, days before he went away for a month he was telling me pretty much exactly the same things he's telling me now.
Trust is a hard thing to rebuild.
But I guess there are different sorts of trust. Or you can trust people in some ways but not others. I trust him to be *him* and what I need when he's here. But I don't trust him to be here, and I don't know if I can trust him that way again.
Posted by Dinah on November 15, 2005, at 21:10:02
In reply to Re: He wants me to come up with ideas on how » Dinah, posted by orchid on November 14, 2005, at 22:14:37
I tried! But he didn't return my call, so I guess if we do try it, it wouldn't be this week. Maybe he wants to make sure he's paid in advance. lol. Or maybe he's just not willing to do it. Or maybe he's just got Katrina short term memory. I hear it's epidemic in proportions.
Posted by Dinah on November 19, 2005, at 12:17:07
In reply to Re: He wants me to come up with ideas on how » orchid, posted by Dinah on November 15, 2005, at 21:10:02
He just called (five days after I called with the suggestion, and one day before our scheduled meeting) to "return" my call. lol. In reality, he wanted to check to see how long we'd be meeting tomorrow, which is fine, if he was just honest about it. He didn't need to try to get extra points for returning my call.
So we start next week with a mid week phone call, and shortening the session by ten minutes tomorrow.
He has been calculating our double sessions without calculating it at fifty minutes times 2, so I corrected that, telling him I didn't want to cheat him out of the extra ten minutes just because it was a double session. :)
He is sooooo funny, and it was a cheerful telephone call.
But really! I know he knows I love him dearly, but does he think I'm stupid? Returning my call. Snort.
Posted by muffled on November 23, 2005, at 12:26:37
In reply to Snort!, posted by Dinah on November 19, 2005, at 12:17:07
This is the end of the thread.
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