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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by gardenergirl on November 13, 2005, at 22:37:46
Okay, here's another issue on my mind.
My sis is getting married in a few weeks. I'm really looking forward to this, and I want this day to be special for her.
But...my uncle who gives (or rather takes) the creepy hugs is coming. I haven't seen him since this summer, when I finally figured out what was so creepy and intrusive about his hugs. First of all, he holds you tight and longer than is necessary. And...(ick!) he smushes your breasts against his chest and then kind of jiggles, so that your breasts jiggle against him. (Ick ick ick ick ick!)
So, I've decided that I don't want to let him do that anymore. But...I don't have regular contact with him, so I haven't had an opportunity to act on this since this summer. And I don't want to make a scene at my sis's wedding.
So, how do I go about protecting myself and setting this boundary?
Do I say something in advance? (by email? by telephone? lol, ask my dad to say something?) Sayt something in the moment and risk a discussion or argument about it, (which likely will be either at the church or at the reception)? Do I just try some physical maneuver to try to deflect him (and if so, any suggestions)? Do I just try to avoid him at all costs? Have my hubby cling to me like a jealous hubby and interfere with any attempt to hug? Kick him in the XXXXX? ;)
I've asked my hubby for advice, but I don't think he really *gets* it. I asked him what he would do if a woman relative pressed her groin against his when hugging, but he said he would just lean into the shoulders and keep space below. That doesn't seem like a good option for me, given anatomical issues.
Ack, this just is driving me batty!
Help!!
gg
Posted by Dr. Bob on November 16, 2005, at 21:55:22
In reply to Boundary setting dilemma--Help!, posted by gardenergirl on November 13, 2005, at 22:37:46
> my uncle who gives (or rather takes) the creepy hugs is coming...
Sorry to interrupt, but I'd like to redirect this thread to Psycho-Babble Relationships. Here's a link:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20051031/msgs/579450.html
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by gardenergirl on November 17, 2005, at 8:09:03
In reply to Redirect: Boundary setting dilemma--Help!, posted by Dr. Bob on November 16, 2005, at 21:55:22
How sad that I was overlooking my own thread. Thanks for redirecting.
gg
This is the end of the thread.
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