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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by muffled on October 2, 2005, at 15:43:13
So I had this thing, I was journalling. I was talking about fear, and I started to describe various types. Like the fear where you say no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no quietly over and over to yourself to fill your mind so that theres nothing else but that. Do you think I saw that on T.V. or maybe read it somewhere? Was it maybe me? Damn, I just don't know. Maybe I'm just making it all up so I can know SOMEthing. But I don't even know where it came from? Sorry if I'm being selfish and not posting to others, but I don't feel I have anything to offer thats any good to anybody right now.
Posted by Tamar on October 2, 2005, at 17:54:41
In reply to No-no-no-no*trigger*, posted by muffled on October 2, 2005, at 15:43:13
> So I had this thing, I was journalling. I was talking about fear, and I started to describe various types. Like the fear where you say no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no quietly over and over to yourself to fill your mind so that theres nothing else but that. Do you think I saw that on T.V. or maybe read it somewhere? Was it maybe me? Damn, I just don't know. Maybe I'm just making it all up so I can know SOMEthing. But I don't even know where it came from? Sorry if I'm being selfish and not posting to others, but I don't feel I have anything to offer thats any good to anybody right now.
I don't know if you saw it on TV, but I do it too sometimes and I imagine a lot of people do the same thing. However, I don’t find it works very well, because when I do it I can’t seem to push away the thing I’m saying ‘no’ to. It’s a particularly painful kind of fear for me.
You’re not being selfish and you don’t need to apologise!
Are you OK?
Tamar
Posted by muffled on October 2, 2005, at 18:18:50
In reply to Re: No-no-no-no*trigger* » muffled, posted by Tamar on October 2, 2005, at 17:54:41
> > So I had this thing, I was journalling. I was talking about fear, and I started to describe various types. Like the fear where you say no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no quietly over and over to yourself to fill your mind so that theres nothing else but that. Do you think I saw that on T.V. or maybe read it somewhere? Was it maybe me? Damn, I just don't know. Maybe I'm just making it all up so I can know SOMEthing. But I don't even know where it came from? Sorry if I'm being selfish and not posting to others, but I don't feel I have anything to offer thats any good to anybody right now.
>
> I don't know if you saw it on TV, but I do it too sometimes and I imagine a lot of people do the same thing. However, I don’t find it works very well, because when I do it I can’t seem to push away the thing I’m saying ‘no’ to. It’s a particularly painful kind of fear for me.
>
> You’re not being selfish and you don’t need to apologise!
>
> Are you OK?
>
> Tamar
>
Yes. I'm ok.
I always am.
I don't do the no-no-no thing now. I don't let anything get me. I'm all grown up and I'm tough. I will survive.
I THINK Idid it as a kid. I don't know. I think it worked very well. The no's all swirling around your brain block everything. Take you to safe places. Thats what I THINK. I don't know though. I wish I knew why I thought this. Does it matter?
Posted by Tamar on October 2, 2005, at 21:34:49
In reply to Does it matter?, posted by muffled on October 2, 2005, at 18:18:50
> Yes. I'm ok.
> I always am.
> I don't do the no-no-no thing now. I don't let anything get me. I'm all grown up and I'm tough. I will survive.I guess you’re tougher than I am. I still do the no-no-no thing!
> I THINK Idid it as a kid. I don't know. I think it worked very well. The no's all swirling around your brain block everything. Take you to safe places. Thats what I THINK. I don't know though. I wish I knew why I thought this. Does it matter?
Hmm. First I’d say, Yes it does matter in one way or another.
Sometimes it’s possible to discover why you think this. Sometimes it’s not so easy.
Either way it matters, because you remember it now and it’s significant to you, no matter how tough you are.
If you could find out why you think this, it might help. But it might also involve dealing with some nasty sh*t.
If you don’t really know why you think this, or you have very vague suspicions, you can still work on it. You can learn to deal with the feelings you have when you get the no-no-no fear, even if you don’t know the etiology of the fear… even if you have no idea where it comes from.
Sometimes we just don’t remember things we want to know about. Often we want to remember because we want a reason why things are the way they are; why we feel the way we feel. We want to be able to demonstrate that we’re genuinely troubled and not just weak hypochondriacs. We want to find meaning in suffering. And we feel cheated if we can’t remember anything significant.
However, I also think that if we feel like cr*p there’s a good reason, even if we’re not sure what it is; even if we can’t remember. And that’s why it matters. Because it’s hard if it hurts and we don’t know why. And it’s hard to hang onto the idea that things really do matter. And somewhere there’s an idea of a fear that says no-no-no. Maybe you don’t understand its full significance, but it matters because you felt it.
Tamar
Posted by muffled on October 2, 2005, at 22:09:08
In reply to Re: Does it matter? » muffled, posted by Tamar on October 2, 2005, at 21:34:49
I will read and think on what you wrote. I'm so lost at the moment.
Posted by muffled on October 2, 2005, at 22:32:21
In reply to Re: Does it matter? » muffled, posted by Tamar on October 2, 2005, at 21:34:49
>
> > I THINK Idid it as a kid. I don't know. I think it worked very well. The no's all swirling around your brain block everything. Take you to safe places. Thats what I THINK. I don't know though. I wish I knew why I thought this. Does it matter?
>
> Hmm. First I’d say, Yes it does matter in one way or another.
>
> Sometimes it’s possible to discover why you think this. Sometimes it’s not so easy.
>
> Either way it matters, because you remember it now and it’s significant to you, no matter how tough you are.
>
> If you could find out why you think this, it might help. But it might also involve dealing with some nasty sh*t.
>
> If you don’t really know why you think this, or you have very vague suspicions, you can still work on it. You can learn to deal with the feelings you have when you get the no-no-no fear, even if you don’t know the etiology of the fear… even if you have no idea where it comes from.
>
> Sometimes we just don’t remember things we want to know about. Often we want to remember because we want a reason why things are the way they are; why we feel the way we feel. We want to be able to demonstrate that we’re genuinely troubled and not just weak hypochondriacs. We want to find meaning in suffering. And we feel cheated if we can’t remember anything significant.
>
> However, I also think that if we feel like cr*p there’s a good reason, even if we’re not sure what it is; even if we can’t remember. And that’s why it matters. Because it’s hard if it hurts and we don’t know why. And it’s hard to hang onto the idea that things really do matter. And somewhere there’s an idea of a fear that says no-no-no. Maybe you don’t understand its full significance, but it matters because you felt it.
>
> Tamar
>
> Stupid preacher at church started all this stuff. Talking about how to have healthy spirituality. So really he's full of sh*t then? All the old stuff doesn't really matter. Just knowing how to deal with present day emotions is enough? I'm REALLY getting SO bothered by this. I don't have to remember anything if I don't want to because its not necessary and I can't anyways. Right? Am I making sense?
Posted by cricket on October 3, 2005, at 7:38:06
In reply to healthy spirituality my *ss., posted by muffled on October 2, 2005, at 22:32:21
> > Stupid preacher at church started all this stuff. Talking about how to have healthy spirituality. So really he's full of sh*t then? All the old stuff doesn't really matter. Just knowing how to deal with present day emotions is enough? I'm REALLY getting SO bothered by this. I don't have to remember anything if I don't want to because its not necessary and I can't anyways. Right? Am I making sense?
Yes. Making sense to me. But then again I am certainly not the right person to ask :-)
I understand "I don't want to remember."
Is is necessary? I don't know Muffled. I know I'm not in very good shape now and people who do remember and do talk about it seem to be in a bit better shape.
I'd leave it as an open question and do what you can day by day.
>
I hope you feel better soon.
>
Posted by muffled on October 3, 2005, at 9:45:54
In reply to Re: healthy spirituality my *ss. » muffled, posted by cricket on October 3, 2005, at 7:38:06
So many people seem to be struggling right now. I wonder why. I'm gonna think it means that things will get better soon for ALL of us. Its just some weird thing going on all over right now. But it will pass. Even the worst things pass. Mebbe leave some marks, but they pass.
Hang in there. Muffled.
Posted by fairywings on October 3, 2005, at 10:21:15
In reply to No-no-no-no*trigger*, posted by muffled on October 2, 2005, at 15:43:13
i have to be really careful what i watch on tv. no scary stuff, it gets into me, and i can't deal with it. the kids think it's funny, but it's not. i don't let them see creepy movies, and when scary commercials come on it makes me mad when the changer isn't accessible quickly enough. i don't know why it's become acceptable for that crap to be on tv all the time, even on the kiddie stations sometimes.
fw
Posted by antigua on October 3, 2005, at 12:27:48
In reply to Re: No-no-no-no*trigger* » muffled, posted by fairywings on October 3, 2005, at 10:21:15
I've never like scary movies or rides, even though my kids love them. I can't explain to them that for me, real life was more than scary enough and I have no interest in reliving scary things, no matter the fun they have.
antigua
Posted by happyflower on October 3, 2005, at 16:27:22
In reply to Re: No-no-no-no*trigger* » fairywings, posted by antigua on October 3, 2005, at 12:27:48
One thing I was always scrared of was rides like at Disney, or the fair. Well early in therapy, I deceided to challange that fear. My mother is someone who I should be scared of but riding a ride is scary but should be safe. My mother was never safe, so I rode the "Mummy ride" ( appropriate ride name for me) at Islands of Adventure in Orlando. It was scarey as heck, but I did it, so I know I can stand up to the fear of my mother.
Posted by fairywings on October 3, 2005, at 18:49:42
In reply to Re: No-no-no-no*trigger* » fairywings, posted by antigua on October 3, 2005, at 12:27:48
and I try to tell them that your body doesn't know what's real and what's not. It feels the adrenaline, and thinks it's in "flight" and panic mode.
fw
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