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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by bent on October 3, 2005, at 14:10:33
I don’t think I can go back to my T. I feel that our foundation has crumbled after today. In the 3+ years I have been with my T I have never felt more like a number in her day. I am sorry I wasted her time. About two years ago she was the first (and only) person I had ever disclosed any information regarding my CSA experiences around age 9. She was supportive and has helped me so much since then. I have not talked to anyone else about this although my T and I have weighed the pros and cons of telling my fiancé several times. She never pressured me. Because some of the long term side effects of the abuse are causing a few problems in my relationship with my fiancé, I decided last week that tonight (10-3) I would tell him about it. I was glad that I’d have the opportuninty to meet with my T today and talk about this with her before tonight. This is where things went wrong…this is one of the biggest, hardest, most difficult topics for me in therapy and my T seems to have forgotten that. I swear she talked to me like we were talking about the weather. Its like she didn’t understand how big this was…how could she not think this is big? We’ve been debating this for years. She said nothing at the end of our session except “see how it goes, see you next week.” What?? Not even a ‘I know you can do it’ ‘You’ll be ok’ ‘Call me if you need to' or at least maybe a 'Good Luck’ if nothing else. She doesn’t hand out these supportive comments all the time but she has said all of these things before during a rough time. Today I got nothing. I felt more comfort from the wall behind me. I don’t want to see her again. I feel so hurt. Am I overreacting? I am seeking TOO MUCH reassurance/support from her? I have never felt so much like nothing to her. I cant believe how let down I feel.
Posted by muffled on October 3, 2005, at 14:46:27
In reply to I don't think i can go back to my T, posted by bent on October 3, 2005, at 14:10:33
Strong connections=strong emotions. She proly doesn't even know she hurt you and proly didn't mean to. You should tell her so she knows. Not angry-tell, just 'I felt' tell.
I'm not one to talk though, cuz I don't connect. Too chicken i guess. Other than these misunderstandings, what does it feel like to be connected? Muffled.
Posted by orchid on October 3, 2005, at 14:53:36
In reply to I don't think i can go back to my T, posted by bent on October 3, 2005, at 14:10:33
Therapists have their own ups and downs. Sometimes, they fail to realize how important they are to their clients.
Maybe you should wait until you meet your T again. And also you should probably tell her how it made you feel. And maybe gain some more support from her, before telling your BF.
If not for this one instance, has your T generally been good for you?
Posted by Dinah on October 3, 2005, at 14:56:30
In reply to I don't think i can go back to my T, posted by bent on October 3, 2005, at 14:10:33
It sounds as if you have had a long, supportive, and beneficial relationship with this therapist. She screwed up in either not realizing that she wasn't taking it seriously enough, or not realizing she wasn't conveying how seriously she was taking it.
I'd tell her how it felt to you, and see what she says. I often find those very rewarding sessions.
Posted by orchid on October 3, 2005, at 14:57:21
In reply to Re: I don't think i can go back to my T, posted by Dinah on October 3, 2005, at 14:56:30
Posted by Dinah on October 3, 2005, at 16:04:56
In reply to How have you been Dinah?? (nm) » Dinah, posted by orchid on October 3, 2005, at 14:57:21
Posted by orchid on October 3, 2005, at 16:06:51
In reply to Rotten :( (nm) » orchid, posted by Dinah on October 3, 2005, at 16:04:56
Posted by fairywings on October 3, 2005, at 23:59:13
In reply to I don't think i can go back to my T, posted by bent on October 3, 2005, at 14:10:33
I agree with Dinah, I think it's really important that you go back to her and tell her how it made you feel. even if you have to put it in writing. Tell her. You've put so much time into this relationship, give her the opportunity to make ammends, to see where she messed up, and to know where she needs to tread more lightly.
fw
Posted by bent on October 4, 2005, at 7:32:12
In reply to I don't think i can go back to my T, posted by bent on October 3, 2005, at 14:10:33
Thanks for the responses. It seems everyone thinks i should bring this up with my T. I guess I will have to. Things feel so different though. I dont think i have ever felt so hurt from this relationship before. I have couples therapy today at the same practice (different T) and I am afraid of crying when i see my T. It doesnt seem like it would be right to talk to the couples therapist about it but I have a feeling it might come up.
Posted by bent on October 4, 2005, at 7:36:51
In reply to Re: I don't think i can go back to my T, posted by Dinah on October 3, 2005, at 14:56:30
I think you are right. It might work out to be a rewarding session if I bring up these feelings. This time is by far the worst though. We have talked about little things before where I have been mad at her or felt she wasnt 'there' but this feels different. I hope it can be repaired.
Dinah, I have read your posts about your situation. I am sorry things are so rough right now. I wish you tons of strength to get through. You will.
This is the end of the thread.
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