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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Angela2 on September 19, 2005, at 11:06:52
I figured this could go here, becuase I called my t, crying my head off. I went to work, but felt an intense urge not to go to work that day. I just didn't want to be there. I didn't want to wait on patrons, and I didn't want there to be uncomfortablness btwn me and my boss. So I went back to my car and went home. I never called my employers and they called me an hour after work started. I said I wasn't feeling well but that I'd come in. And I apologized for not calling, and said I was about to call too. Then I called back and said I couldn't come in at all because I was just to sick. My boss said: " you really need to call in first." She was really ncie about it. But I think they have their eye on me now. I am in a really messed up place now. I have gotten into the patern of avoiding the things I don't want to do. I feel bad about it afterwards though. I think I avoid my problems. I avoid the way I feel and take what I think is the easy route out. I want to stop this. I want to either keep the job I have now or get a new job and keep it for a long time. Here is my question though. Would it be a good idea for me to tell my bosses that I have severe social anxiety and that I am working on it with a therapist. Would there be a point to doing this if I'm looking for other jobs? And would my employer tell my prospective future employer what I told her in confidentiality about my mental health? I just don't want them to think I am skipping work or something. Or that I just didn't think to call in. There's a reason behind it.
Posted by B2chica on September 19, 2005, at 12:04:23
In reply to Messed up at work, posted by Angela2 on September 19, 2005, at 11:06:52
sorry you are struggling right now.
about employers...i'm struggling through that right now. there's this ada paperwork that needs to be filled out regarding your needs. i personally included taking time off for any (ANY) needs regarding my illness. i personally include if i can't get out of bed in the morning. anyway, see if there is some type of official forms you can fill out.
about telling employer, it has advatages and disadvantages. i first was very open with my boss, but not so much any more. it's like the more i fed him the more he would leave me alone. but after talking with the people at ADA department, they say that he shot himself in the foot with that one cuz the more he knows, if i ever get fired, that gives me just cause to say he fired me BECAUSE of my illness. if he knew only my needs and not what was going on, i couldn't say that.
on the other hand, he's on several occasions diagnosed me as manic (which i was not) and used that as reasons to 'write me up'.
so i guess i'm not much help. but there are both good reasons and bad for telling your employer...all i can say is follow your gut. if you have any doubts, don't say anything.
but maybe you luck out and get a great supportive boss that will lessen your stress also??-maybe potential topic for T session?
best wishes A2
b2c.
Posted by Angela2 on September 19, 2005, at 12:16:05
In reply to Re: Messed up at work, posted by B2chica on September 19, 2005, at 12:04:23
Thanks B2Chica. I hope everything works out for you as well. I appreciate your response. I'm just trying to figure out whether I should tell my boss or not. I really don't know because I read on a dept of labor website about pschiatric disabilities that employers are more responsive if you do it in good faith and not as a last resort to keep your job. I don't think I'm going to get fired, but in a way I think they should know the real reason for my bizarre behavior.
Posted by B2chica on September 19, 2005, at 12:37:40
In reply to Re: Messed up at work, posted by Angela2 on September 19, 2005, at 12:16:05
sounds like you made a decision...go for it. and i personally think if you have a decent relationship with your employer that they should know.
good luck to you
b2c.> Thanks B2Chica. I hope everything works out for you as well. I appreciate your response. I'm just trying to figure out whether I should tell my boss or not. I really don't know because I read on a dept of labor website about pschiatric disabilities that employers are more responsive if you do it in good faith and not as a last resort to keep your job. I don't think I'm going to get fired, but in a way I think they should know the real reason for my bizarre behavior.
Posted by rainbowbrite on September 19, 2005, at 13:33:39
In reply to Messed up at work, posted by Angela2 on September 19, 2005, at 11:06:52
Normally I would say don't tell but it sounds to me like you have a nice boss, a caring boss and one that you feel comfortable with.
I think I would tell her in this situation. You are right, you dont want them to judge you incorrectly and telling them may give you some relief. It may result in you having more flexabilty in you schedule which sounds as though it would be helpful.(((Angela)))
Posted by fairywings on September 19, 2005, at 14:56:32
In reply to Messed up at work, posted by Angela2 on September 19, 2005, at 11:06:52
sorry youre going through this angela. i don't think employers are allowed to discuss reasons why you're fired or quit, just yes or no for rehire, and confirming salary/wages. at least thats the way it used to be. any chance of meds for anxiety? they help. good luck with the T.
hugs.
fw
Posted by Angela2 on September 19, 2005, at 16:44:53
In reply to Re: Messed up at work » Angela2, posted by fairywings on September 19, 2005, at 14:56:32
I went to my T appt. today and she gave me a few suggestions. We are doing DBT techniques right now. One thing I am going to promise myself is to go to work everyday and don't back out at the last minute. I am supposed to accept the feelings I have about it, which are negative and make me want to quit, and do the opposite, which is go to work. I'm really scared about tomorrow. And the next day and the next. Because now everyone will be looking at me strangely, wondering what's up with me. I've decided not to tell my bosses what's up with me or that I have a psychiatric disorder. I just don't know if I can trust them. I'd like to believe that I can, but you never know. OK. This is like a huge problem for me. It always has been. My mind is like a malfunctioing one. I don't know why I can't just think like the rest of the world. But the main subject of this post is that I'm going to work everyday even if it hurts. And I need support.
Thanks.
-Angela
Posted by sleepygirl on September 19, 2005, at 23:45:22
In reply to Thanks everyone. Update on T appt., posted by Angela2 on September 19, 2005, at 16:44:53
Oh Angela, I'm sorry you're going through this. I really do sympathize. My anxiety about not going to work sometimes has been crazy, and there have been times where I have simply avoided it, then felt very guilty, really felt trapped.
Well yes, some of it is just about feeling the fear and doing it anyway, but I am a big fan of medication too - anything that helps. It unfortunately doesn't seem to get better unless you can face it, but I know it is hard. I wish it was easier for you.
I don't know about telling your coworkers about the social anxiety thing - it's hard to know how people hear that. I think a lot of the work is within you- finding ways to manage the stress- in lots of little ways can help you feel more in control- i.e. taking breaks outside maybe, packing a nice lunch, deep breathing, anything to make it easier
Posted by TexasChic on September 20, 2005, at 18:51:30
In reply to Re: Thanks everyone. Update on T appt., posted by sleepygirl on September 19, 2005, at 23:45:22
My experience in telling my boss was very negative. I got fired. Of course she manufactured the 'reasons' why. I'm not saying all employers will be like this, but since that job I have had no intention of ever telling a boss about it again.
I support you! I've been through it. It sucks but I usually feel better having toughed it out. I mean, I'll feel bad either way, might as well get paid for it. Let me know how its going!
Posted by Angela2 on September 22, 2005, at 20:17:08
In reply to Re: Thanks everyone. Update on T appt., posted by TexasChic on September 20, 2005, at 18:51:30
You mean you told your boss that you had emotional issues (or what ever), and she fired you? Or was it for another reason? (getting set up) PM me if you want. Thanks for your post. You are a very warm person. Take care.
Posted by terrics on September 23, 2005, at 2:45:10
In reply to Messed up at work, posted by Angela2 on September 19, 2005, at 11:06:52
Do not tell anyone. I got so screwed at work because I told a friend who later became my supervisor. From then on I was harrassed til I resigned. terrics
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