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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by happyflower on September 17, 2005, at 23:41:19
Is it normal for as therapy continues for in increase in therapist disclosure? I have heard that some therapists use disclosure as a tool in therapy. How would this help? Or do they loosen up once they get to know you and therapy is almost over. What are you thought about disclosure and how it might change during the course of therapy?
Posted by luvdove on September 18, 2005, at 8:31:20
In reply to therapist disclosure, posted by happyflower on September 17, 2005, at 23:41:19
Hi Happyflower (cool name btw ;),
I'm glad you brought this up because this issue has come up in my therapy lately... every T is different in terms of how they view disclosure, the more 'analytic' their approach the more they will want to present a blank screen and tell u nothing! Depending on their theoretical orientation some are more into sharing small details to help you trust them or to make them seem like more of a 'real' person.I know really random tidbits about my T, her demographics, that she plays a sport, that she doesn't like change or statistics, that she has 15 clients (I don't like that one), that she's a scorprio etc. I've always enjoyed these little things that come out, but a couple of weeks ago out of the blue I asked her why she wanted to be a therapist! It was right at the end and she said there was something she was 'tempted' to disclose with me but didn't want to blur the boundaries or something. [btw I have extensive history of s/abuse and have just started to talk about it with her, after a year of seeing her] So next session I was all looking forward to finding out something really personal about her (like that she'd had some trauma or something) and she said she'd decided NOT to tell me!!! it's pushed all kinds of buttons for me, I've been really angry at her for 'teasing' me and it's made me withdraw... I could go on and on about it but I think she doesn't want to distract me from why I'm there and from MY issues, and said that for her to disclose something really personal like that would 'rob us of something' and change everything. I kind of get that but I still want to know what that 'something' is...
Ultimately, we're there to talk about ourselves and our own stuff and their stuff shouldn't matter, but who can help but be extremely curious about their T's lives??!!! I think that as a T gets to know you more they probably do want you to know them a little bit and will tell you little random things. Always ask a question if it comes up but whether they choose to answer it or not is a WHOLE other thing! Oh yeah, another reason why they might choose to stay zipped is to encourage transference fantasies; any psychodynamically orientated therapist is going to want to explore these, analysing the transference is supposed to be a really big part of the therapy...
Sorry to go on and on but like I said it's relevant to where I'm at in my therapy - perhaps becoming a distraction from my own process though! Does anyone here know about their T's own expereinces? Like with trauma or anything? It's risky territory for them to disclose this kinda stuff... I think I could handle it though!
Luv
Posted by muffled on September 18, 2005, at 10:13:36
In reply to Re: therapist disclosure » happyflower, posted by luvdove on September 18, 2005, at 8:31:20
That was useful to me too, thanks Luv. My T. has ais more than what some of your guys have said I think. But to be honest I DON'T wan to know right now. I LIKE the boundaries. They keep both me and her safe. However, that being said, I guess I'll have to lower mine some cuz otherwise I guess we are not going to get very far in the T. thing.
Posted by messadivoce on September 18, 2005, at 11:24:28
In reply to therapist disclosure, posted by happyflower on September 17, 2005, at 23:41:19
I would venture to say that the more transference, the less helpful disclosure may be. With my first T I had transference flying all over the place. I didn't know anything about him except his name but I was still caught deep in all my feelings for him, and my assumptions. It took a long time to work through; I can't imagine how complicated it would have been had he told me something more about himself. At my last session I asked him if he had any kids and if he was married, and he said yes to both. But I kind of suspected that anyway. But it solidified in my mind the notion that he is a "perfect" husband and father.
My second T was a woman about my mom's age, and I didn't really experience transference, I don't think. She was a little more open about her life; I knew what her husband did and that she had 3 daughters and their ages. Her whole manner was different with me. She was not so psychodynamic, which was what I was used to. I think disclosure needs to be handled very carefully from a T's perspective, because there are enough factors in there to keep everyone busy analyzing without throwing facts about the T's life in the mix.
Posted by alexandra_k on September 18, 2005, at 22:42:00
In reply to therapist disclosure, posted by happyflower on September 17, 2005, at 23:41:19
I think different orientations view it differently. I have read stuff on how self-disclosure can be useful sometimes (to demonstrate empathy, to model examples of successful coping etc). I think the idea is that it can be useful at times for some clients, but that the therapist should be sensitive to when the client doesn't like it. Or to when it is meeting the needs of the therapist more than the client.
I personally don't like it.
I don't want to know.
Posted by Dinah on September 20, 2005, at 5:49:46
In reply to therapist disclosure, posted by happyflower on September 17, 2005, at 23:41:19
Mine has, at first accidentally. Now he's really quite open. At this very moment he's really really open.
At the very beginning, I'd get really annoyed when he did it.
Later, he blurted something that helped me understand a pattern of interaction we were stuck in, and we got past it.
Now, ten years into therapy, it feels sort of natural. He's someone I care about. But I think if he discloses as much to all his clients as he does to me, it might be a technical problem on his part. However, from my earlier experience with him, I'd guess he doesn't. Maybe he figures that with all I know about him, picked up through schedule changes, etc. over the years, that it would be silly to go back to being a blank slate.
The other day he even continued a phone conversation with his wife in front of me. (I arrived a few minutes early and there is no waiting room in this setup.) I have no idea why, because I have no desire to be his wife, but his casual "I love you" made my stomach lurch.
I wonder what that was about.
Anyway, I think I'll make sure I'm not early from now on.
Posted by gardenergirl on September 21, 2005, at 23:39:25
In reply to Re: therapist disclosure, posted by alexandra_k on September 18, 2005, at 22:42:00
> I think different orientations view it differently. I have read stuff on how self-disclosure can be useful sometimes (to demonstrate empathy, to model examples of successful coping etc). I think the idea is that it can be useful at times for some clients, but that the therapist should be sensitive to when the client doesn't like it. Or to when it is meeting the needs of the therapist more than the client.
That's exactly right. If a T starts disclosing more than usual, I'd worry that there is something going on that suddenly the T needs to talk more. It can also be a sign of counter transference of some kind. But sometimes it's also just that it's something the T has experienced before, and it's easier to share that than to make up a "I know of someone who...." example.
gg
>
> I personally don't like it.
>
> I don't want to know.
>
>
This is the end of the thread.
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