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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by cubic_me on September 14, 2005, at 14:01:26
I went to therapy for 2 years, then I transferred to group therapy for 8 months (more than useless for me). I finished individual a year ago and group therapy in May and have been ok, but over the last month or so have been getting worse again. I always thought that once I left individual therapy at that place, I wouldn't need to go back (leaving was so hard I don't like to think I'll have to do it all over again) but my SI and suididal thoughts have been getting worse and I suppose I should either go back to the doctor or the therapist.
I can't talk about my SI/suicidal ideation with the doctor as I don't want it on my medical records (for my career) so T sounds the best option, but so scary.
Has anyone gone back to therapy after a break? Did you just have a few sessions to get you back on track, or more long term? Was it with the same T?
Posted by Tamar on September 14, 2005, at 18:55:12
In reply to Going back into therapy (poss trigger), posted by cubic_me on September 14, 2005, at 14:01:26
> I went to therapy for 2 years, then I transferred to group therapy for 8 months (more than useless for me). I finished individual a year ago and group therapy in May and have been ok, but over the last month or so have been getting worse again. I always thought that once I left individual therapy at that place, I wouldn't need to go back (leaving was so hard I don't like to think I'll have to do it all over again) but my SI and suididal thoughts have been getting worse and I suppose I should either go back to the doctor or the therapist.
If you’ve been getting worse for a month and experiencing SI and suicidal ideation then it sounds to me as if more therapy would be useful (maybe necessary!).
> I can't talk about my SI/suicidal ideation with the doctor as I don't want it on my medical records (for my career) so T sounds the best option, but so scary.
>
> Has anyone gone back to therapy after a break? Did you just have a few sessions to get you back on track, or more long term? Was it with the same T?I’m considering the possibility of going back to therapy, but haven’t made a decision yet. I think the question of a few sessions or long term depends on what you’re dealing with. If it’s the same stuff that you dealt with in therapy before, perhaps a few sessions will get you back on track. But if there’s new stuff, or stuff you haven’t worked on before, or if you suspect that there are deeper dimensions to the issues you were previously working on, then maybe long term therapy might be the answer.
I suppose the question of seeing the same therapist might depend on your therapeutic relationship. Your former therapist is someone who knows your background and with whom you’ve already established a therapeutic relationship. You know what it feels like to work with that person. So there might be some familiarity and comfort in that. On the other hand, a new therapist could give you some new perspectives. Do you have a gut feeling about it? What does your intuition tell you?
Tamar
Posted by Shortelise on September 15, 2005, at 12:43:10
In reply to Going back into therapy (poss trigger), posted by cubic_me on September 14, 2005, at 14:01:26
I was in therapy 30 years ago, when I was very young. Went back 7 years ago.
It's a good thing to go back when we need to. It also might be a lesson for you, that you need to stay in longer? That you need to maintain a longterm relationship with a T? Maybe once you feel under control again, see your T once a month?
Cubic, be good to yourself. Take care of yourself. There is *no shame* at all in starting another round of therapy. It's a sign of self-awareness.
ShortE
Posted by cubic_me on September 15, 2005, at 15:23:10
In reply to Re: Going back into therapy (poss trigger) » cubic_me, posted by Tamar on September 14, 2005, at 18:55:12
Thanks Tamar, your response is really helpful, in that I probably do need more therapy. If I go back, whether it is long or short term will probably depend on whether I'm able to talk about the things I didn't in therapy before - but being able to talk aout those things would probably take a while.
I think I'd go back to the old therapist. I'd have to go to the same center to get free therapy, and I'd probably feel uncomfortable seeing someone else in the same place. Add to that that the T who did group there was awful, I'd rather be garunteed someone I knew I got on with, even if they aren't wonder-T!
I've decided to wait a couple more weeks before I decide anything. I'm not actively suicidal, and knowing that I'm busy at the moment makes me want to wait until I am back to normal and see how things are then. I don't want to go back if I don't have to.
Are you any closer to making your decision about going back to therapy?
Posted by cubic_me on September 15, 2005, at 15:29:19
In reply to Re: Going back into therapy (poss trigger) » cubic_me, posted by Shortelise on September 15, 2005, at 12:43:10
Thanks ShortE, I think that's what I wanted to hear. I hate the stigma attached to therapy, and I always feel guilty about bothering someone else with my problems. Probably all the more reason why I ought to see a T really!
The T I saw before doesn't usually do long term (5 sessions max) but I was there 2 years and she said to come back if I needed, so I suppose I should take it up if I need to. I'm really uncomfortable with the idea of long term therapy though - I just want to have treatment for X months then be better, but I know it doesn't always work like that.
Posted by Shortelise on September 15, 2005, at 20:21:14
In reply to Re: Going back into therapy (poss trigger) » Shortelise, posted by cubic_me on September 15, 2005, at 15:29:19
I know, but think of this: it's also something that makes us a little unusual, and more than that, this exporation of self is an interesting undertaking, isn't it? It's something I enjoy when it isn't too painful. When!
I don't believe in the stigma though. How many people do you know who couldn't benefit from some therapy?
As for the length of it, well, it might be like me trying to fit into a size four: I'd love to, but it just doesn't fit.
I hope you figure this through soon.
ShortE
Posted by cubic_me on September 15, 2005, at 20:52:48
In reply to Re: Going back into therapy (poss trigger) » cubic_me, posted by Shortelise on September 15, 2005, at 20:21:14
I love the self-exploration too - just seems a bit self indulgent, especially when I'm not paying for it. I just have to convince myself that I *need* it and then I can allow myself to want it.
Posted by fairywings on September 16, 2005, at 17:23:58
In reply to Going back into therapy (poss trigger), posted by cubic_me on September 14, 2005, at 14:01:26
Hi cubic
i've gone back to therapy after being gone for a long time and never solving anything the first time. this time it's very scary for me, but i hope to get somewhere even though i'm finding it really scary opening up and being totally and completely upfront about some things because it makes me feel so out of control. i do trust this T, i feel very safe with him. i think if anyone can help me he can. i think he is unlikely to do anything to intentionally threaten me, and i think if you can find someone like that, then you will be able to talk about the s/i and i think that will be worth going back. i'm with you, group would not work for me. i'm a one on one, or nothing. i hope you take the leap and go back, please don't kill yourself. there's been some discussion of it by SLS over on the meds board, he's smart, and has the right idea. oh, and if you need some meds to get you through this, that's okay, we all need some help sometimes.
fw
Posted by cubic_me on September 17, 2005, at 10:25:25
In reply to Re: Going back into therapy (poss trigger) » cubic_me, posted by fairywings on September 16, 2005, at 17:23:58
Thankyou Fairywings,
I'm pretty confident in my old T, I just wasn't ready to talk about some things at the time, that I might be able to now. I talked about the si when I was in therapy before, but it was just accepted that that's what I did, and it would stop when I felt better about myself. It did for a while too. There are other things with a lot of shame attached to them that I will have more difficulty talking about.
I've been on different combinations of meds for 3 years, but came off the last lot 3 months ago as they weren't helping and I wanted to see whether being med free made any difference. It didn't really (I was this depressed while on meds too) so I'm staying off them for now. According to my pdoc lithium is the next thing they would try me with, and I'm not prepared to go on that unless I'm a real threat to myself, which I don't think I am at the moment.
I'm glad you've found a T you are comfortable with and can work with - they are hard to come by it seems. We sound similar with the group thing - I thought I'd give it a go, but hated it, even though other group members seemed to get a lot out of it.
> Hi cubic
>
> i've gone back to therapy after being gone for a long time and never solving anything the first time. this time it's very scary for me, but i hope to get somewhere even though i'm finding it really scary opening up and being totally and completely upfront about some things because it makes me feel so out of control. i do trust this T, i feel very safe with him. i think if anyone can help me he can. i think he is unlikely to do anything to intentionally threaten me, and i think if you can find someone like that, then you will be able to talk about the s/i and i think that will be worth going back. i'm with you, group would not work for me. i'm a one on one, or nothing. i hope you take the leap and go back, please don't kill yourself. there's been some discussion of it by SLS over on the meds board, he's smart, and has the right idea. oh, and if you need some meds to get you through this, that's okay, we all need some help sometimes.
>
> fw
Posted by fairywings on September 17, 2005, at 10:37:02
In reply to Re: Going back into therapy (poss trigger) » fairywings, posted by cubic_me on September 17, 2005, at 10:25:25
> Thankyou Fairywings,
>
> I'm pretty confident in my old T, I just wasn't ready to talk about some things at the time, that I might be able to now.hi cubic, daisy said that the things that come up have their own timeline, and you don't choose when they come up, which is true. you really have to be ready to deal with things.
>>There are other things with a lot of shame attached to them that I will have more difficulty talking about.
I have SO much shame too, i know how you feel. it is so hard to talk to someone else about those feelings because it feels so wrong, so dirty, so unacceptable, but when you're with a T who makes you feel accepted, and gives you unconditional positive regard then it makes it at least easier. i've found it easier to put things in writing, and have my T read what i've written, and the process is cathartic.
>
> I've been on different combinations of meds for 3 years, but came off the last lot 3 months ago as they weren't helping and I wanted to see whether being med free made any difference.Maybe go over to the meds boards, post what you've tried, what your doses were, and what the effects were. there are a lot of really smart people over there who really know their stuff, know all about the receptors and how the drugs affect the brain, and can talk to you about what might be better options. i think they know better than the docs because they've had first hand exp.
good luck!
fw
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