![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on September 14, 2005, at 20:03:46
I think the answer to this question is, maybe not...
I'm really starting to think that there is in fact nothing the "matter" with me. I probably have no mental disorders at all.
I think maybe I'm really really immature for my age. I think maybe the way my parents parented me was not right for my personality or temperament or something.
I think I just need to accept that I do not have problems and move on with my life.
Some clues that I do not have any disorder:
• Even when I'm extremely upset, I'm still able to act normally around my family.
• Even though I've obtained the means to kill myself and sometimes practice them or OD, I've never actually tried to kill myself
• I don't seem to have any trouble with sleeping or weight gain/loss, even when "depressed"
• I can sometimes be talked out of my irrational emotions
Hmmm...so I'm not sure that I need therapy. I'm pretty normal IRL, except for not have any close friends and doing really badly in school and sometimes not having any goals or hope for life
That probably describes a lot of people.
Deneb
Posted by alexandra_k on September 14, 2005, at 20:08:44
In reply to Do I need therapy?...I don't think so (pos. trigg), posted by Deneb on September 14, 2005, at 20:03:46
I have to say...
That I think we have been here before...
And when things are going well then they really are going well and you have a tendancy to forget...
That things don't go so well sometimes.
And that when things really aren't going well...
Then they really aren't going well.And I reckon that therapy could help you out with respect to being able to better control your moods for the times when you do seem to lose it a little (and realise that you are doing so but feel powerless to stop it).
Posted by Deneb on September 14, 2005, at 20:27:45
In reply to Re: Do I need therapy?...I don't think so (pos. trigg) » Deneb, posted by alexandra_k on September 14, 2005, at 20:08:44
> I have to say...
> That I think we have been here before...
> And when things are going well then they really are going well and you have a tendancy to forget...I just don't know anymore...I'm confused. Maybe I can't rely on my own judgement of how I am doing??
Hmmm...if I go only by the facts, I guess maybe I do have some problems.
Eeek...I can't believe how easy it is for me to forget!
Deneb
Posted by alexandra_k on September 14, 2005, at 20:38:15
In reply to Re: Do I need therapy?...I don't think so (pos. trigg) » alexandra_k, posted by Deneb on September 14, 2005, at 20:27:45
> I just don't know anymore...I'm confused.
I think everybody gets a little confused sometimes. Its really very hard to be relatively objective about oneself.
>Maybe I can't rely on my own judgement of how I am doing??
Thats a hard one... You can't doubt ALL your judgements... I think it is about figuring out which of your judgements are likely to be reliable (and when) and which of them are not... I remember doing some stuff around that with respect to 'rational mind' 'emotional mind' and wise mind but IMO it is still bloody hard to tell... Sometimes I think the best way is to say what you think someplace where other people can jump in to (like on the boards).
I think that when judgements are out it is because there is relevant information that hasn't been taken into account...
And remembering all that relevant information is hard...
Especially because of state dependent learning / memory which means that when you are in a good place you tend to forget the bad times... And when you are in a bad place then you tend to forget the good times...
But we can help you remember
(And it is there in the archives too)
> Hmmm...if I go only by the facts, I guess maybe I do have some problems.MOSTLY you do really very well.
SOMETIMES you lose it a little and could probably do with a hand.But its not an either / or thing... Its a mostly / sometimes thing...
I hope your appoitment goes well.
I really really do.
Posted by caraher on September 14, 2005, at 23:50:23
In reply to Re: Do I need therapy?...I don't think so (pos. trigg) » alexandra_k, posted by Deneb on September 14, 2005, at 20:27:45
> > I have to say...
> > That I think we have been here before...
> > And when things are going well then they really are going well and you have a tendancy to forget...
>
> I just don't know anymore...I'm confused. Maybe I can't rely on my own judgement of how I am doing??
>
> Hmmm...if I go only by the facts, I guess maybe I do have some problems.I've found it helpful to take a depression rating test on a weekly basis. That way I have a reasonably reliable number to track so I don't need to rely on my own memory
Posted by JenStar on September 15, 2005, at 0:28:43
In reply to Do I need therapy?...I don't think so (pos. trigg), posted by Deneb on September 14, 2005, at 20:03:46
hi Deneb,
I think there is a difference between NEEDING therapy and WANTING therapy. Solving problems alone can be hard. Sometimes it's nice to have a helping hand, esp. if the problems deal with depression, mood swings, behavior issues, etc.I don't think therapy is a magic cure-all, and neither are drugs. Most people probably need a combination of both, AND need to work hard at it too, to improve.
I don't think therapy "works" unless the person doing it is really dedicated to the process, really wants to be there, and really feels a desire to be there. So unless you're at that point, therapy might not be all that effective...
Why do you feel so much that you need to do it on your own without help? Is there some part of you that feels that it's "wrong" or weak to see a T? (I'm just asking b/c it's something I myself worry about - I put myself down, even though I don't put others down for doing it! Weird double standard, huh?)
JenStar
Posted by cubic_me on September 15, 2005, at 15:42:11
In reply to Re: Do I need therapy?...I don't think so (pos. trigg) » Deneb, posted by JenStar on September 15, 2005, at 0:28:43
Maybe you have a mental disorder, maybe you don't, but you don't seem happy with your life at the moment, and therapy can help.
Tell me if I'm wrong (and ignore the rest of what I have to say), but it sounds from your post that you think you are somehow attention-seeking, and because you don't think you have a disorder, you shouldn't get attention. If you feel that you want attention, then you deserve attention - sometimes we can be really hard on ourselves about that. And if you want 'excessive' attention then it means that there is something wrong and you deserve some help.
Posted by Deneb on September 15, 2005, at 17:50:56
In reply to Re: Do I need therapy?...I don't think so (pos. tr, posted by caraher on September 14, 2005, at 23:50:23
> I've found it helpful to take a depression rating test on a weekly basis. That way I have a reasonably reliable number to track so I don't need to rely on my own memory
Hmmm...I somehow don't think something like that would be accurate for me. Weekly eh...how about hourly? LOL
I was just thinking today...there seems to be a lot of crises in my life...self made crises, that probably aren't much of anything for other people...but...I think I'm actually quite happy despite them. I think more often than not, I'm content and happy, even when things aren't going well.
Deneb
Posted by Deneb on September 15, 2005, at 18:05:54
In reply to Re: Do I need therapy?...I don't think so (pos. trigg) » Deneb, posted by JenStar on September 15, 2005, at 0:28:43
> hi Deneb,
> I think there is a difference between NEEDING therapy and WANTING therapy.I think I sometimes *want* therapy for the wrong reasons...I think I just want someone to talk to, give me attention and make me feel better. No offence to psychology, but a lot of the time *I* think it is a bunch of gobbity goop, if you know what I mean...
The whole getting in touch with one's feelings and transference and all that stuff seems silly to *me*. It makes me LOL sometimes. I'm taking this one psychology course called Personal Development because I wanted to be a full time student but I didn't have enough science courses to take to be full time this semester. I basically made a list of about 10 psychology courses and took the one that wasn't full yet. This course won't count towards my degree. I watched this video about "the self" and it totally made me LOL in class...yikes. I dunno...I'm not the touchy feely type...not sure how this class is going to go!
I don't think there is anything wrong with people going to therapy. I just don't know if something like that will work for me. I also don't know if it is worth it to pay to just have a friend to talk to.
Deneb
Posted by muffled on September 15, 2005, at 19:58:23
In reply to Re: Do I need therapy?...I don't think so (pos. trigg) » JenStar, posted by Deneb on September 15, 2005, at 18:05:54
> > hi Deneb,
> > I think there is a difference between NEEDING therapy and WANTING therapy.
>
> I think I sometimes *want* therapy for the wrong reasons...I think I just want someone to talk to, give me attention and make me feel better. No offence to psychology, but a lot of the time *I* think it is a bunch of gobbity goop, if you know what I mean...I appreciate your honesty!!! There are however many kinds of therapy, counsellors, psychologists, psychiatrists etc. I have always tried to go it alone and it hasn't worked. So I go to a counsellor because I would like to find out why I can't allow myself to connect with any depth with others. I think as humans we are made to connect with others. I think healthy connections keep us sane. I think unhealthy connections make us crazy. I think no connections slowly destroys us. So thats a reason for going, even without taking other stuff into account. BUT whoever said it was right, you have to really want what your trying to achieve or it won't work. Its not easy exposing yourself to others. It involves alot of risk, and can be scarey.
>
> The whole getting in touch with one's feelings and transference and all that stuff seems silly to *me*. It makes me LOL sometimes. I'm taking this one psychology course called Personal Development because I wanted to be a full time student but I didn't have enough science courses to take to be full time this semester. I basically made a list of about 10 psychology courses and took the one that wasn't full yet. This course won't count towards my degree. I watched this video about "the self" and it totally made me LOL in class...yikes. I dunno...I'm not the touchy feely type...not sure how this class is going to go!I would like you to remember that people really struggle in therapy and it HURTS. I don't laugh when I see injured people in car accidents.
>
> I don't think there is anything wrong with people going to therapy. I just don't know if something like that will work for me. I also don't know if it is worth it to pay to just have a friend to talk to.That would be for you to decide. Everyone needs a friend. A T. is NOT a friend, way to many boundaries in place for that. They are quasi friends perhaps in a way, only there to help you. It is one way pretty much. I am willing to pay because I am not happy with where I am and where I WAS going. I'm getting there, with help.
Muffled
>
>
>
>
Posted by Deneb on September 15, 2005, at 20:28:59
In reply to Re: Do I need therapy?...I don't think so (pos. trigg) » Deneb, posted by muffled on September 15, 2005, at 19:58:23
> I appreciate your honesty!!! There are however many kinds of therapy, counsellors, psychologists, psychiatrists etc.
I know there are many different types of people. I liked my p-doc, I looked up to her. I think she has the same values as I do. I wish I could be successful like she is. She used to laugh sometimes when I made outrageous threats...then I see her laughing and I laugh too! It was hilarious! She's great.
>So I go to a counsellor because I would like to find out why I can't allow myself to connect with any depth with others.
Once I complained to my p-doc that I had no friends IRL. She then told me that I didn't have friends because I chose not to have friends. I thought about it for a sec and then I agreed. I think she's right! I dunno, I think I like it this way but I just don't see it.
> I would like you to remember that people really struggle in therapy and it HURTS. I don't laugh when I see injured people in car accidents.
Sorry, I think I was being inconsiderate again?
I only laughed when they had people pretend to be all depressed and socially anxious in the movie...I couldn't help it, it was just so darn funny. I have social anxiety and I think it's kind of funny sometimes.Is it really serious enough to compare to car accidents? I will take note of this. I already have one very important mental note: making light of suicide is like the equivalent of making light of something like sexual abuse.
> That would be for you to decide. Everyone needs a friend. A T. is NOT a friend, way to many boundaries in place for that. They are quasi friends perhaps in a way, only there to help you. It is one way pretty much.
I have lots of one way friends. ;-) It's probably a horrible thing to say, but having one way friends is a lot easier than having real friends. It's probably a habit from playing pretend too much or something.
>I am willing to pay because I am not happy with where I am and where I WAS going. I'm getting there, with help.
> MuffledI would be willing to pay if the T can help me get good grades...that is the most important thing to me.
Deneb
Posted by muffled on September 15, 2005, at 21:20:59
In reply to Re: Do I need therapy?...I don't think so (pos. trigg) » muffled, posted by Deneb on September 15, 2005, at 20:28:59
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on September 17, 2005, at 1:19:27
In reply to Do I need therapy?...I don't think so (pos. trigg), posted by Deneb on September 14, 2005, at 20:03:46
This may be a little blunt, but my sense is that you are that type of person too. I wouldn't say it if I didn't think it was constructive, but please tell me if I'm too blunt.
First, I think that there are *very few* people who think so much about going to therapy who would not benefit from it. People who have absolutely no reason to go to therapy do not think about going to therapy (much) and do not post frequently on psychological/psychiatric websites.
Secondly, you have mentioned yourself how you have a hard time knowing when something is going to be hurtful to others. This is the sort of difficulty which can really hurt relationships throughout your life. It is best to address it now before you have broken relationship after broken relationship.
And lastly, to give you comfort... As I have mentioned, I am studying to be a psychologist and so I have seen my own clients, as have my friends/peers. I cannot think of a single time when one of us has said, "Why is this person here? They don't have any real problems!" Most T's can recognize that different things trouble different people. What might be overwhelmingly hard for one person is just a little problem for another. No one will laugh at you for seeking therapy.
I vote that you give it a shot for 3 sessions or so. Have you ever had therapy before? You mention a pdoc below, but was that for therapy? What do you have to lose? The possible benefits outweigh the possible costs.
Best,
EE
Posted by JenStar on September 17, 2005, at 13:20:44
In reply to Re: Do I need therapy?...I don't think so (pos. trigg) » JenStar, posted by Deneb on September 15, 2005, at 18:05:54
hi Deneb,
I think some of the psychology stuff is "silly" too, or not that effective. But I think that other parts can be extremely effective. The great thing is that there are so many different kinds of therapy and counselors, so it's possible (hopefully!) to find someone who clicks with you and your needs.Some of those college videos ARE corny, I agree. But I've also seen some great and interesting shows on PBS or Discovery Channel where they do a very professional and intriguing job discussing concepts of self, identity, etc. Sometimes the delivery makes all the difference!
I also love to read...and there are many great books out there.
I think it's good to take everything psychological with a grain of salt. I mean,100 years ago they had ideas that today we consider strange, weird and exotic. But they also had the seeds of modern therapy, which DOES seem to help many people. So I think you have to scrutinize everything and decide for yourself what makes sense for you...
I also think that sometimes people laugh when they're uncomfortable with something, or when it hits too close to home. I have in the past tended to laugh inappropriately at moments of self-disclosure. A good friend of mine laughs when she's nervous...not because it's funny, but because she's trying to dissipate tension and anxiety. So maybe the fact that this makes you laugh/giggle is a sign that deep inside you suspect it might be "real" and you might be learning important things about yourself?
Just a thought!
JenStar
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.